Wild Embers

Present Day

I’m in desperate need of a fucking cup of coffee!

It's only ten o clock on a Friday morning and I have no clue how I'm gonna make it all the way to three in the afternoon. I watch as student after student approach the front of my classroom. I try my hardest to concentrate on what they are saying as they each give their thoughts on the book we have just finished reading. Many of the students end their presentation with the phrase stay golden pony boy. I am so glad that they enjoyed the book. Of course they did, a story about a gang of poor orphaned misfits fighting with the well-off rich boys from the other side of the tracks, it was a no brainer. I’m so glad that this book is part of the school’s curriculum because it allows many of my students to see themselves in the characters and connect to the story. It also helps them to understand that they should be proud of who they are and also to see that other people share their struggles. I can see this connection and the spark in their eyes as they talk about their experience with the book. As hard as I try, my mind keeps drifting off. Mentally, I am beyond tired. This is nothing new, I have been tired my entire life. I sometimes wish that I could just lock myself in my bedroom and sleep forever.

“BUZZ!” Shocked, I pull myself from my own thoughts and back into the present and realize that I’m being called on the intercom by the front office. I press my button to let them know I’m listening.

“Mrs. Romero, can you please stop by the office during lunch? The principal would like to meet with you.”

“Mrs. Romero is in trouble!” I hear Tanya yell

“It’s okay Mrs. Romero, just don’t admit to anything. We got your back” Juan adds

“I’m not in trouble you guys, everything is fine. Now let’s continue so we can finish this assignment today” but in the back of my mind I’m really wondering what this “meeting” is all about. I can’t think of anything that I could have done that would warrant an immediate meeting with the principal. My stomach turns and I can feel my anxiety rise. It’s probably nothing I’m just overreacting.

RIIIINNNNNGGGG!! Before I can say anything, my students are up and moving around collecting their belonging and bolting towards the door.

“Great job today! I will see you on Monday, Have a good weekend!” I yell. I hear a few students tell me goodbye as they make their way out of my room.

During lunch I slowly walk to the main office for my meeting with the principal. I stop and talk to a few people in the hall, I tell a couple of kids to stop running in the hall and then head to my mailbox and thoroughly go thru my mail. Nothing interesting, but enough to keep me away from the principal’s office for a few more minutes. I know that the longer it takes for me to get to his office, the shorter the amount of time I will have to stay there. I eventually finish lollygagging and walk over to his office door. As I walk in, I see two of my students, Johnny and Christina sitting in chairs in front of the principal’s desk.

“Christina, Johnny, I’ve missed you two, where have you been?” This statement was sincere. I had not seen these two in three months and the truancy officers have had an extremely hard time tracking them down.

“We’ve been busy” Johnny states trying his best to sound strong and assertive.

As I walk around them to sit next to the principal where an empty seat has been placed, I look at their faces. They are terrified to be sitting here.

“Busy?” At that moment I look at Christina’s worried face before my eyes go further down and notice the distinct shape of a pregnant belly that she is cradling with her hand. My heart immediately drops into my stomach. Please no! I feel my heart breaking into a million pieces as I force a smile on my face to let her know that I’m still here for her. Over the next thirty-five minutes my students go over the details of what has been going on and where they have been.

            Apparently these two have gotten into a situation. Christina has decided to drop out of school and move in with Johnny who she says she loves. She's pregnant and doesn't want her mother and father to find out. I like Christina, she is a clever girl with a smart-ass attitude. She wears a tight lowcut green sweater that is showing entirely too much cleavage for it to pass the dress code and a pair of ripped blue jeans. She has long black hair that she wears loose. It covers her face just enough to block people from noticing that she hasn’t lost her baby face yet.  Johnny is another story. He is a senior and looks older than his eighteen years. His jeans are baggy, and his black tee-shirt is far too big for his slender frame.  Johnny has been one of my students that I have just not been able to get close to. Not because he is a bad student but because I get a feeling from him that makes me uneasy. In this meeting they are sitting together, Johnny is doing the talking while Christina sits quietly holding Johnny's hand. I listened to him talk and watch how he moves. Something is triggered inside of me, and I began to have a familiar feeling in my stomach. The room feels like it is filling with fog. The voices around me began to drift further and further away.  My mind begins to leave the present as I drift to a different time in my life. A life that is so different that I have vowed to keep it hidden from my colleagues and my family alike. The life of a totally different person that I no longer know.