Chapter One - Please just let me sleep.

‘All I could hear was that horrendous beeping; the sound the heart monitor makes, I could not make out what it was at first while I was trying to wake up but it is a sound I will not forget’ Dee says adjusting her cuffed wrists, trying to light a cigarette. 

‘Did you know where you were?’ Riley asks her, the psychologist trying to get an understanding of the carnage that had followed that one day.

‘Not at first’ Dee answers shaking her head. ‘Not until I opened my eyes and looked around the room, I saw Mum standing at the end of the bed than I worked it out’ she huffs breathing out heavily after she inhales a huge drag of her cigarette. ‘Reckon we could take these off? I am not going anywhere’ Dee asks nodding towards her cuffed wrists.

‘No, not until you tell us what happened’ Detective Stewart states, crossing his arms. 

‘I don’t have a problem telling you what happened, but it’s a long story Detective and be fucked if I want to sit here cuffed all day’ Dee says cold as ice. Her voice quiet, her stare terrifying.  

'This is a woman that has walked through the gates of Hell', Riley thinks to herself as she flicks her own fringe out of her face.

‘I think it will be ok, she wants to tell us what happened, don’t you Dee?’’ Riley says in a calming voice trying to keep Dee focused.

‘Only my family calls me Dee, you do not get to call me that!’ Dee proclaims focusing her stare on Riley.

‘Sorry’ Riley says softly ‘Amadee, you want to tell us what happened don’t you? You should at least be comfortable while you do that’ she replies, looking to Stewart than signaling towards Dee’s cuffed wrists.  

‘Sure, why not!’ Stewart huffs as he uncrosses his arms and gets up from his side of the table walking towards Dees. ‘Well, hold them out’ he says demandingly with the key in his hand.  

Dee smiles, slowly moving her wrists out staring up at Stewart from her seat, ‘You don’t like me much, do you Detective?’  

‘Amadee, let’s stay focused hey, we are just trying to work out what happened to you, that is all’’ Riley says trying to get Amadees focus away from Stewart.

As Stewart removes her cuffs, Dee rubs her wrists. ‘Why are you so interested Miss?...’ She looks back at Riley. 

‘It is my job to be interested’ Riley says loosening her posture in her chair trying to look more relaxed and approachable, ‘and it’s Riley’ she adds with a comforting smile.  

Dee sits right back in her chair rubbing her hand over her shaved head, ‘It is a pretty fucked up thing to have interest in don’t you think Riley?’ 

‘Can we just get back to what happened Amadee, we don’t have time for your games’’ Stewart says going back to crossing his arms. ‘Tell us what happened when you realized you were in hospital!’ 

‘If you could just share with us what happened after you woke up, we can try and piece all of this together’ Riley adds, a lot calmer than Stewart trying to make Dee as comfortable as possible.

‘Mum asked me if I was feeling ok?’ Dee says looking down at her belly, placing one hand on there.

Remembering that day clear as it was happening now....

‘Hey Dee, how you feeling love?’ her Mum Sue asked standing at the end of her hospital bed. ‘You alright?’ she added.

‘Yeah Ma!’ Dee responds wiping her eyes and sitting up, ‘What happened?’ she asked while looking around the room.

‘You fainted Hun, I couldn’t get you up, so I called an ambulance just to make sure you and the babies are ok’ Sue said moving a seat towards the side of the bed and sitting in it.

‘Has the doctor been in yet?' Dee asked while carressing her very pregnant belly.

‘Not yet love, they wanted to wait till you were awake’ Sue answered reaching for Dees hand for comfort.

‘Where is Blake?’ Dee asked looking down at her wedding ring, ‘Does he know I am here’

she added looking up at her Mum.

‘I’ve tried to call him a few times Dee, straight to voice mail, but I am sure he will ring back soon’ Sue answered trying to reassure Dee, smiling at her and rubbing her hand.

‘Chuck me your phone, I will call him now’ Dee stated holding her hand out.

She dialled his number extremely fast thinking that he must be worried that he has not heard from her all day.

‘Hey! Where are you?' She asked on the phone after Blake answered.

‘Work, why?’ He snapped back rudely.

‘I am in hospital, I fainted, mum has tried to ring you, can you come up please?’ Dee answered with a little bit of deperation in her voice.

‘Is anything wrong or is this you looking for attention?’ Blake sarcastically asked her, clearly distracted.

‘I fucking fainted Blake, can you just come please?’ Dee snapped back.

‘Did you know that your marriage was on the rocks when you were in hospital’ Riley interrupts bringing Dee back from memory lane. 

‘Not really, not enough for me to pay attention to, I was really sick pregnant so my focus was not so much on my husband but my twins’ Dee answers.

‘Tell us more about you and Blake, or more about him, was he a good husband?’ Riley asks.

‘We were so young when we met, I thought I was in love, there is not much to tell’ Dee says abruptly, obviously wanting to avoid the topic. 

‘Did you know about his criminal activities?’ Stewart chimes in picking up a thick folder full of paperwork.  

‘I knew not to ask questions Detective’ Dee responds flicking her gaze straight through him. 

‘Did you know he was having an affair at this point Dee?’ Riley asks bringing Dee's attention back to her.

Dee looks down, ‘No, I had no idea’ She answers softly, embarrassed and clearly still hurt from Blakes betrayal.  

'Did he come to the hospital like you asked him to?’ Riley asks trying to get Dee back to remembering where things started. 

Dee gets tears in her eyes, keeps looking down at her hands and nods yes. ‘He came’ she whimpers.  

‘What happened when he got there?” Riley asks.

‘Hey, what is going on? Is something wrong with the babies?’ Blake asked as he walked into the hospital room, putting his jacket on the chair near the door.

‘We don’t know yet mate, we are waiting for the doctor to come in and explain what is happening’ Sue answered trying to keep reassurance in her voice. ‘They won’t be long’

Blakes phone rang, he looked down at it and rejected the call.

‘Have they done any tests or anything?’ He asked still looking down at his phone. 

‘They did an ultrasound while she was a sleep and took some blood, but that is all’ Sue answered again grabbing onto Dee's hand. 

Blakes phone rang again and he rejects the call, looked up at Dee and said 'Do you want me to wait around here to find out what happened?’

‘Who is ringing you?’ Dee answered staring at his phone.

‘Don’t worry about it, do you....' He started to answer.

‘Who is ringing your phone, Blake?’ She interrupted asked again this time staring at his eyes. 

‘It’s just shit for work, you know my phone does not stop, do you want me to wait?’ He snapped back at her. 

‘Better go call back who it is then and yes I would like your support if that is not too much to ask for’ she answered trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

Blake sighed and drew in a slow breath ‘Ok, well I will just go and return this call and I will be right back here with you ok Dee?’ he said calmer then he was speaking to her before.

Dee nodded as he left the room then turned to her mum.

‘Do you think he is up to something mum?’ She asked again trying not to cry. 

‘Oh no love, you know Blake, when he is busy at work he is always stressed out. He does not mean nothing by it darlin’, you know that, he loves you’ Sue answered doing her best to lift Dees spirits. 

‘Did your mum like Blake?’ Riley asks bringing Dee back into the interview room and out of her painful memories.

‘Yes and no’ Dee answers, ‘He could be amazing and could be a real prick, there was no in between, so mum struggled with Blake sometimes’ Dee answers lighting another cigarette.

‘What did the doctor say when he came in to see you?’ Riley asks her carefully, as she knows this is hard for Dee to talk about. 

‘Hello Mrs. Samuels? I am Doctor Davies, how are you feeling?’ the Doctor said entering the room. 

‘I am ok, little bit of pain but nothing to cry about’ Dee joked trying to lighten the tension in the room. Sitting up taller in her bed nervously looking up at him.

‘Unfortunately, Mrs. Samuels I do not have the best of news, is your husband here?’ He asked looking down at his chart.

Blake entered back in the room quickly walking beside Dee on her bed and asked ‘Have I missed anything? Is she alright?’ 

Blakes colour from his face had drained, he looked like he was going to be sick Dee noticed and thought it must be because he is really worried about her and the babies. 

‘Hello Mr. Samuels, I am Doctor Davies, I was just explaining to your wife that I do not have the best of news for her’ the Doctor responded, he continued ‘Sadly there is a lot of clotting happening in your uterus, that describes the pain. One of your twins, the smaller one, I am sorry to say his heart has stopped, we are not going to be able to revive your baby. The other twins heart rate is dropping dramatically, we do not think he will survive and we are going to have to induce you into early labor and get the babies out’

‘Wait, what? Please tell me you are wrong, my babies are fine, aren’t they? Mum, please tell me the babies are fine.’ Dee exclaimed in a panic looking back and forth between her Mum and the Doctor. 

‘I am so sorry Mrs. Samuels, I know this is difficult, but nothing can be done except removing the babies and allowing you time to grieve and heal’ the Doctor answered. ‘I will give you time to process this information and then send in the nurses to prep you and your husband for the delivery suite, again, I am so sorry not more could be done’ Davies said as he leaves the room. 

Dee cried so hard her Mum was holding her allowing her to get it all out while Blake sat in the chair near the door with his head in his hands.

‘I am so sorry Amadee, you must have been in horrific heartache during that time’ Riley says again bringing Dee back into the room and out of her own head. 

‘ It was not the best day’ Dee says sarcastically while wiping a tear from her eye. 

‘Do you need a break?’ Riley asks trying to hand Dee a tissue to wipe away her tears. 

‘No, I am fine’ Dee answers looking down at the tissue, doesn’t take it and looks back up at Riley.  

‘Ok only if, you are sure?’ Riley checks .

‘Yes, I said I am fine’ Dee answers, her eyes locking onto Rileys and intertwining her fingers.  

‘Ok, what happened after you had the twins?’ Riley asks carefully, knowing that this could send Dee into a rage that neither her or Stewart could control.  

‘I woke up to Blake sitting beside my bed holding my hand’ Dee scolded. ‘To think at that moment, I thought he was being kind’ she adds rolling her eyes....  

'Hey babe’ Dee said as she opened her eyes noticing Blake sitting next to her in recovery.

‘Hey Dee, how you feeling?’ Blake asked her gently but not looking up at her.

‘Good as I can I guess’ Dee answered while tears rolled down her face.

Sue walked into the room with coffee and an extra blanket for Dee. ‘Hey honey, sorry I just wanted to get you another blanket you looked cold, you feeling ok?’ Sue asked.

‘I am doing ok Ma’ Dee answered forcing a smile on her face.

‘Ah Sue, I need to talk to Dee about something, could you give us a minute?’ Blake said quietly, looking up at Sue.

“What about?’ Dee asked sitting up a little in bed.

“Oh, it is just best if you and I talk Dee’ Blake answered without looking up at her again.

‘Dee, it is fine love, I will pop out for a moment, you guys can talk, ok?’ Sue said calmly while grabbing her handbag.

‘No mum, stay here’ Dee said quickly, turning her gaze to Blake ‘What is going on?’ Dee asked. She knew that he was going to say something not right, but she could not work out what.

‘Dee.... I’ Blake managed to fumble out, ‘I really think it is best if we talk alone’

‘No, what is it? Tell me now? In front of Mum!’ Dee insisted. ‘Is everything alright?’ She added concerned.

‘Dee’ Blake said, grabbing her hand. ‘I fucked up ok, but I got to tell you now or you will find out.’ Blake blurted out.

‘Fucking find out what?’ Dee said intensely, removing her hand from Blakes and sitting up taller.

‘I got her pregnant. I am so sorry. I got her pregnant’ Blake blurted out as he jumps up out of his chair and started pacing the room. ‘I did not know she was not on the pill and she is refusing to abort it. She said if I don’t tell you, she will, I am so sorry babe’ He started confessing panicking trying to avoid eye contact with Dee.

Dee closed her eyes, trying to see if she was dreaming, praying that it was not real, she opened them again to see him pacing.

‘Dee, I am so sorry I swear I am so sorry’ Blake said over and over again.

It was like he was mumbling.

‘Dee opened her eyes and glared at Blake in disgust. ‘Get out’ she said through gritted teeth. She closed her eyes again, as tears fell from them and said ‘Just get out’

‘Dee please, I am so....’ Blake started to say

‘Get the fuck out’ Dee screamed at him staring straight through him. ‘Mum, get him the fuck out now’ She screamed as she was crying.

‘Mate, I think it is best you go for the moment’ Sue said as she walked Blake towards the door.

‘Dee please’ Blake begged.

‘Mate, now, she does not need this right now!’ Sue said as she pushed him out the door. ‘Talk to her after she has recovered from this’ She finished and closed the door in his face.

Sue turned around to look at her usually strong daughter, laying in a hospital bed, falling apart, broken.

‘Oh Dee’ Sue cried, as she walked over to her daughter, she wrapped her arms around her. ‘I am so sorry Dee’ She whispered as she cried with her daughter.

Dee could not get a word out through her heavy cries. She just screamed. She screamed over and over rocking back and forth in her mums' arms.

‘I am so sorry baby, I am here, I am so sorry’ Sue cried to her daughter as she hugged her.

‘Mum’ Dee muttered. ‘Please Mum, just let me sleep’ she begged, ‘Just please let me sleep.'