CHAPTER SIXTY

NOLAN POV

I stood on the porch feeling more pain than I ever had before. How was it that the words I'd been waiting to hear over all these weeks only filled me with more sadness?

 "I'm glad." I headed to my car, and as I drove home, I replayed the night in my mind, wondering if I had done something different, had said something different, things would change. The pessimistic part of me said no.

 I tried to think about how April might view it. She had a glass half full type of attitude. April would have seen the kiss as positive. Gwen’s telling me she didn't hate me was positive. Did this mean there was hope? Maybe I needed to do more. Maybe not more kissing and touching, but more proving that I was devoted to her. Committed to her and the baby.

When I arrived home, I headed upstairs and down the hall to a bedroom right off my room. It was currently empty because I had no use for it, but the original purpose of the room was as a nursery. Maybe if I created space for her and the baby, coupled with the counseling, she would see the depth of my commitment.

The next day, I made calls to several contractors to get estimates on turning the bedroom into a nursery and then creating another space in the house just for Gwen. It could be an office or whatever she wanted.

  I’d just finished making an appointment with the third contractor when my phone rang. The caller ID said the cops, and as normal for any human being, my heart rate skyrocketed. Why were the cops calling me?

      "Hello?"

      "Is this Mr. Nolan Douglas?" a gruff male voice came over the phone.

      "It is."

      "Mr. Douglas, I'm calling because we have your daughter, April Douglas, down here at the station."

      What the fuck? "What, why? Was she a victim of something?" God. If I lost her, I didn’t know what I’d do. Immediately, all the wrong moves I’d made in raising her came to the surface.

      "Not exactly."

      "What does that mean?" I wanted to reach through the phone and throttle this guy.

 "Your daughter was picked up with a group of young men we have arrested. We have determined that she is not liable for any criminal activity. But we need somebody to come get her to bring her home."

"Why? Is she incapacitated?"

 "Yes. We think she's taken something. She insists that she hasn't, and it’s possible she was unaware she was consuming something, but we cannot be sure of that."

      Holy hell. "I'm on my way."

      I made it to the police station in record time, and the police were right that April wasn't quite right. I immediately took her to the hospital where I was told that she had been drinking and had ingested some sort of street drug I knew nothing about. Fortunately, they said she wasn’t in any immediate danger and the effect would wear off in a few hours.

      Three hours later, I had her in the car heading back to my place.

      "April, what the hell—"

      Her hand came up in a stop position next to me, even as she was still slumped against the passenger door. "I don't need a lecture, Dad."

      "I just had to pick my daughter up at the police station. I think that automatically comes with a lecture. What the fuck are you doing?" She was so close to graduation. She had a job lined up. Was she really going to throw it away? "If this has anything to do with Cole, I will stop you from seeing him. That kid is bad news."

      "It wasn't Cole’s fault. He's as much a victim as I am. We were drugged. I promise, Dad, I didn’t take it on purpose."     

In my mind, this situation was bullshit, but I was so filled with rage that I couldn't trust myself not to say things that would hurt her in the same way I’d hurt Gwen.

      I took her to my place and put her in her childhood room to let her sleep. Once the drugs and alcohol wore off, I would talk to her.

      I headed downstairs to my office, sitting in my desk chair as I downed a couple of fingers of scotch. I wondered if this was the universe punishing me. I’d had it so good for so long. Maybe I had been a little too cavalier with women and my money. Maybe my daughter getting involved with people who could derail her future, and Gwen, the one woman I've ever loved, who couldn’t look at me without disdain were my punishment for being a dick.

  How could I keep on like this?

  I had to keep on. 

April was my daughter.

Gwen was my Mate carrying my child. I couldn't waste my time on pity. I had to suck it up and be a man.