Curiosity

Walking through life while life is oblivious to the nights I’ve had I enter the small coffee shop. “Shine!”

The barista says way too enthusiastically but still I felt a flicker of something when I saw her.

“Chyne.” I say with a grimace to hide the smile that wants to show. She sees right through me and smiles, she doesn’t ask what I want, she already knows.

I now believe she gets my name wrong on purpose. Peter flashes across my eyes but I brush it off just as quickly, I’m not a pushover either.

Deep down I know it wasn’t my fault, fates hands work at the speed of interpretation to no one but something’s stirs in me for what was taken from me.

My friend.

Shaking the thoughts out Ken gives me my drink. Her smile cracks a bit but she fixes herself and goes to walk off, a sense of urgency overcomes me, “Does Ken stand for anything .. longer?”

I hesitate with my words, seems I forgot how to speak. She looks back surprised written all over her face but she comes back and smile so sweetly and warm my chest tighten and I fight the urge to close my eyes. It feels like acceptance.

One word in my mind and gone just as fast, acceptance is what her smile said. She leaned in close “It’s for ..” she looks away in a dramatic shy way. Makes me want to laugh. But I don’t. What could it be. “ Kennedy.” she says flat.

We stare at each other for a good second then exploded in laughter the next, I covered my mouth out of pure instinct and shock but when I looked at Ken I laughed again and I let it move me. “ Nice, that just nice. I love that” I told her in between chuckles.

She looked down and away before looking back at me. “ .. yea my mom still won’t tell me why, says she just wanted to be funny but ..” she looks away as if she might be speaking to much so I do something I would never do, only for the fact that it was something I would’ve never done. “What time do you get out?” I blurted before I walked out the shop. She’s .. blushing ? Oh fuck.

“Not-“

“I don’t like-“ we both start then I cover my face and say, “As friends, or you know whatever people do to get to know each other, platonically.“ I specify.

I look away already kicking myself internally to get out the shop. “7pm”. I look back to her maybe too quickly. “ Okay so I’ll come by then.” She looks at me. I say quickly, “Or maybe another day or you know when u are free or whatever.” She replies, “No, today is fine. I didn’t have anything planned anyways. I’ll see you then.”

She waves and go to take a customer who was waiting patiently. I thank him and leave the shop.

The amount of deep breaths I had to take to contain the excitement in me was a huge one along with the fear of what could happen. Should I do this? Yes, I deserve to have a happy life.

This time I’m ready for anything, what happened last time won’t ever happen again. I won’t hide from them. This is my life and I will live it however I choose. I’ll carry the fear and resentment and shame and guilt but I won’t let it stop me from finding their opposites. From being happy.

Arriving home I didnt notice the quiet inside as much. Internally I was ecstatic. I decided to wash up and wash my hair. I lounged around my house till then.

Was walking to the coffee shop always this quick. I thought for sure it was a longer walk. Through the glass window of the shop I saw Kennedy sipping on her coffee and I found my self stopping and looking back, was I really thinking of ditching her?

Closing my eyes briefly the smell of lavender evades my senses and I take a deep breath and a deeper sigh. Kenny looks out the window and just watches me, as I look back at her I find her rather interesting.. what could she be thinking as I stand here. Then she smiles and my feet move on their own accord.

We’ve been sitting here for about 15 minutes and no one has said a thing. Yet something is missing, I look at her sip her coffee taking her time, she’s calm and so sure of herself, I feel it radiating off of her. “ What were you going to say earlier before you cut yourself off?”

I start and she finally lifts her eyes to look at me longer than a few seconds. “ .. you remember that?” I decided whether I should say that truth or not “ To be honest, I actually can’t stop thinking about it.” She blushes again but this time it’s different, flattery. “ In a way that nothing really happens around here and you.. piqued my curiosity” I say without breaking eye contact.

She rolled her eyes and I scoffed softly to hide my smile. “ It wasn’t much, why did u decide to talk to me?” Straight to the point I see.

“I didn’t like the on going idea of me leaving here without saying much, I see you most days anyways”. I shrug averting my gaze.

Looking back we stare at one another. It seems we tend to do that often. “How do humans do these things anyways? get to know one another.”

“Humans?” She repeats with a brow lifted and a half smile. Should I just spit it out?

She probably won’t believe me anyways. I sit back in my seat and open my legs widely and take a deep breath emitting boredom.

“I’m a demon.”