v e r n o n  After helping her heal her self-harm wounds in the library, Catherine went back to giving me the cold shoulder. I don’t know what I did wrong. I didn’t even ask her about what triggered her panic attack or self-harm tendencies because I respected her boundaries. I only offered help. Yet after that, she became aloof again that I couldn’t help calculating my past actions.  Our last conversation would so often ring in my ears.  “I’ll ask for it if I need it.” She bid coldly before leaving me in the library. Since then, we never interacted again for almost a week. I have been skipping most of my classes, like usual. Most days I could not make it to class because I’m too stoned to function.  B

v e r n o n  I watched the momentarily shift of Catherine’s demeanor. She stood before me, completely struck and suddenly absent-minded.  It seemed as though she didn’t know how to react to my stupid confession. I wanted to take that as a good thing but the lack of emotion from her now makes me think I should have not said anything. I could barely hear the traffic before us over the heartbeats banging in my chest.  In my attempt to fight off the sudden awkwardness, I cleared my throat.  “You were asking so—” My words were interrupted. “Yeah. I mean—” she paused awkwardly too.  I was ready to talk again until she continued, completely rejecting whiche

c a t h e r i n e The huge expanse of his chest occupied my vision. Had I not stopped abruptly, I would’ve clashed with him. My lips parted for a protest but his hand quickly landed on my forearm. His force was too strong. Before I could find the courage to look up at his face, he dragged me towards a far corner, leaving the busy tables behind.  While panting from our sudden drift, I managed to glance at him. Vernon’s intense glare was immeasurable in the shadows. And although the club is noisy, I could feel the violence of his sporadic breaths.  I felt too small under his gaze. I was frozen and tongue-tied, my head’s haywire and my heart a stone, I could not think nor feel anything. The humiliation, the fear, the regret-- all were too immense that I was left with numbness.  “What are you d

v e r n o n  Winter vacation in 11th grade, a common friend of mine, Junhoe, hosted a house party. The usual hype and chaos blared in his living room, his random guests were flooding in as the night loomed. It was cold and there was a warning of storm but it did not stop everyone’s thirst for booze, and perhaps some make out session. It’s the first day of vacation which explains everyone’s  interest for a last get together. Junhoe was a senior who’s currently in 12th grade. He used to be Mark’s batch mate but since the former enjoyed being in 11th grade too much, he did not accelerate as him. It was also through Mark that we became friends. In his dimmed living room that was illumined by some Christmas lights, I stumbled upon Junhoe, automatically exchanging a fist bump. “Hey! Glad you’re here, Vernon. Beer?” He grabbed one from a nearby bucket which

c a t h e r i n e  I woke up from my trance when my phone rang. The memories of an unforgettable past dissipated in the air as I reached for my phone. “Lisa?” I answered. “Hey, where are you?” Lisa’s cheery tone competed with a noisy background.I didn’t get to reply immediately. It almost slipped my mouth that I was meeting with Jackson. I nearly forgot that they did not know about him.“We’re going to a karaoke bar. Come join us. You haven’t gone home, have you?”Pinching my temples, I shut my eyes tight. This is probably the third time this week that I am refusing to hang out with them.“I’m sorry, I went to my academy. I have a class today.” As always, I used the excuse of going to my cram school. I was enrolled in those supplementary classes before but I have stopped going for a year now. Most