Sunday arrived and I was sitting on the bus making my way towards the beach that I usually go to with Elliot. I don’t think I’ve spent my time there without him, but that was the location Lucas gave me and I wanted to get there early before he met me. Yesterday I went to the store with my mom and she was excited when I asked her to help me buy a camera that I can practice with. I’m not too sure if I spent too much or too little, but I do like the one I bought and the features were a lot better compared to the one Andre borrowed from the art department. It’s a nice red digital camera and it’s so easy for me to carry around. I got off the bus and walked around the crowd trying to make my way over to the beach. It was just around the corner when I saw the ocean and it was refreshing feeling the cool breeze. I watched the waves before raising the camera to take pictures trying to take a good picture of the ocean with the pier in the background and took another of the other side of the be

It's finally the end of the week and today is my last exam, but all I want to do is go home to lay down in my bed and sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well, but it wasn’t so much that I felt like I needed to do a bit of extra studying to ensure that I passed my class and not worry about my final grade. Luis was able to meet with me after our argument, but we never talked about the drinking situation and there was a bit of awkwardness between us. I wanted to talk more with him but he would change the subject or he decide to leave. Maybe I’ll wait until we’re on summer vacation and I’ll find a day to meet with Luis. I was at the library with Lucas, looking over my notes, when my phone started ringing and put my pen down to pick up my phone.I was surprised to see Lily’s name on the screen and answered immediately, “Hello?”“Michael? Sorry, are you busy?” She asked.“No, no. I’m just studying. Is everything okay?” I asked and I could see Lucas looking over curiously.“Are you busy Saturday

It was quiet on the walk back to my house and Caesar laid Ally down on her crib after I showed him the way to the bedroom. I was able to calm down a bit, but my hands were still shakey and I knew that this anxious feeling wouldn’t go away. I watched as Caesar closed the door behind him and rubbed my arm nervously, taking the lead back downstairs. I led him to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and took a small sip while Caesar stood behind me, leaning against the counter. It's my fault for being careless and going out when I’ve already been warned that he’s back in town. What would have happened if I was alone or if Caesar didn’t show up at the right time?“Thanks for helping me,” I whispered.“Well, it wasn’t like he could do much without having to put himself in jail and I’m not sure how you would have been if he stayed longer.” He said and looked me over like he was being cautious with his words. “You should be careful having these panic attacks while holding your sister… It looked

Chapter 17When we entered the house, I went to the kitchen and decided I needed my anxiety pill. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.“Water is fine,” He answered.I grabbed two bottles of water and handed them to him as we moved to sit on the couch. “You really don’t mind staying?” I asked him.Elliot took the bottle of water and had a small sip, “I don’t mind.”I moved to lean against the armrest and face him as we sat on the long couch. “Before I called you, I was in the guest room trying to relax but I was going through both panic attacks and anxiety,” I told him while looking down at the bottle of water. “All those feelings came to me that I began to doubt myself... Every time I see Chris, alarm bells go off in my head and my body yells that I need to leave. Runaway, hide, or find a way to disappear.”Elliot reached out to hold my wrist and the touch grabbed my attention, “And now your home, far away from him. Remember that he’s not going to hurt you here.”“Come on, E

For a second, I wondered if we shouldn’t be holding each other like this, but does this mean that he still cares for me, or is he only being kind? If we had been like this before I fell asleep, I might not have had that dream. The thought about the dream had me shivering as I recall Chris’s face and I moved a bit away from Elliot, but he still had me in his arms. He must have noticed my discomfort and I felt his hands patting my back, trying to comfort me. I’m starting to feel a bit of pain in the pit of my stomach and I know it’s all the stress from having the panic attacks to the night terror. “I’m tired,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted again. “You’re going to be tired the whole day if you don’t rest,” Elliot replied. “I know… I’m already getting a stomach ache,” I said, then sighed, feeling a little pain. “And I was feeling that earlier at my dad’s house.” “Do you need some medicine?” He asked me. “I think so,” I said, sitting up. “Stay here. I’ll get it for