Lahat ng Kabanata ng Cries Behind Smiles: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

I know I have fallen again.Would you rise me now"*****************************When I reached near the tall white building a.k.a Hospital, my face was contorted into fear.ALLAH TALLAH!!! Just save me this time.I promise I would be a good girl!!I thanked young soldier, he smiled and left.Ok Hayaaat! BE CONFIDENT...Show like everything is cool whether you're shivering inside.Actually I was.I introduced myself to lady at the counter and she told me that, I should talk to Dr.Abdullah about my duty who was currently in ward.I went towards the ward,my nose hitting the typical-hospital-scent.I always hated it.But once you spend a while, you get used to it.Entering in, I notice several people in bandages, injured on beds.I just hate those white sheets.I always thought why can't hospital bed be colourful.

"Why can't you be moon...So that I could gaze at you without thinking its sin"Ok that stupid pain of rejection again bloomed in my heart when today my grandmother called in.She is something very important in my life.After my mother death,she stood for me and my brother when others don't care.She loved us,cared for us.Her eyes showing remorse,pain and affection towards us.She was tough as stone but melted for us.I really love her.She means a lot to me.She called for asking about how I'm doing.She used to say:"My son is big idiot.If he ever hurt you call me.I will bang some sense into his brain through my cane"She has that cane with her which she uses for multifunctions like switching off the button of tv, grabbing the little chair towards herself so that she could lay her one leg on it.As her one leg is swollen, due to cellulitis affecting it 2 years ago.For also kicking my cousins or his grand childrens when they are doing somethi

So right now I'm at Chachu's home eating breakfast as I haven't any in mine.Dadu is a bit worried.She has a kind of hospital phoebia.I don't know when she is going towards hospital she starts panicking,her hearbeat accelerate at high pace,sweat profused on her forehead."Stop panicking dado.I know you'll be fine.That is nothing big.It would be a minor urinary infection as always"I tried to soothe her a bit.She just nodded at me.We took her towards Central Hospital in urology department.Actually she wasn't feeling fine after her minor diltation in CMH.Her legs started to swell and due to continuos urination she couldn't sleep alnight.Let me tell you guys government hospital is like a minor table or place but patients are crowding like houseflies all over the place.It feels like every person in Pakistan has this disease.And don't ask me about the huge line.We had a call number of 210 .Usually we go to private urologists and have

I don't know how long my brother drove that car with red eyes,I don't know how much time we travelled,me completely numb.All memories,All her words were playing like photographic slideshow in my brain.I don't even remember when we got down.But the cold wind chilling my warm body made me realized that we are in Murree indeed.Those mountains were eating me up.Our home could be seen from distance.When we entered ,my third chachu family was there.My chachi came early to prepare.Because the world doesn't fall down when you're falling.They don't think what you're bearing, they talk about people clothes.Were their home clean? Did they gave good food on funeral? Did they meet every lady? Why was her daughter not crying? I think she doesn't care enough? Her granddaugter was crying too much,very unsophisticated.These are the stigmas of our society.They know how to raise question on those who are mourning and If their way of mourning is not appealing to them.So

My face was veiled afterwards.A women came to me and held my hands"Slam bhabhi...I'm Zehra.I'm your husband's sister.I'm daughter of your deceased step mother's sister".She was so beautiful with brown locks and light brown eyes.She was Sabheen Khala daughter.Sabheen khala was married to Pushtoon family.I recalled that much.She died at young age due to car accident alongwith her husband.I heard they have two children.I never caught more because they move outside Pakistan afterwards.Mom sometimes visited them but I never bother to go to their house.I was not close to my step mother's relatives.We barely met at weddings and some gatherings.I never ever imagined in my whole life.I would get married in that family.Now I was literally freaking out.Oh Allah let everything be Ok.Let them be good people.What If they were like tough pushtoons who have gun attached to them.Who never mind to hit their women.No hayaat stop it.They a