I have rejected affections for years, and now that I have it around me, cornering me, it was kind of weird. I should be happy, right? I should be glad that the people around me gave me things I needed without even saying it. And I don't know how to respond, and I don't know how to react. As I look back with every passing moment, I am surprised at how I respond to Jarred, to Hade, to Hank, to Paris, to Enzo, to Dad, to everyone. I was used to doing everything on my own, I was built not to seek help, but now everyone keeps lining up behind me, holding the rope together, pulling the thing I've been pulling alone since I was a child. I'm no longer alone on this cliff, pulling the rope where I have no idea what's on the other side. Was it a person? Or maybe a rock? Or what if there was nothing? What if I keep pulling something and end up with nothing? I have rejected reality for years, and I keep running away from them, finding distractions after distractions. What if these were all just

When I opened my eyes, I saw mom sitting on the side of my bed while Hank was leaning on my balcony, his arms crossed in his chest, staring at me. I instantly checked if my hands were tied and looked around me."I'm at home.", I whispered, staring at mom confusingly, she glanced at Hank, and he shrugged. Mom shifted her gaze at me and helped me sit, and leaned my back on the headboard. She tucked the strand of my hair behind my ears and cupped my left cheek."You're at home, sweetie. Tell me what happened." I closed my eyes and put my left hand on my forehead. Trying to recall what happened."I was in my usual room at the hospital, and then my hands were tied on the bed. I could barely move and speak." I glanced at Hank; he was staring at me, listening very carefully. "He injected something into my IV bag, and I felt very, very sleepy. But I heard him say something." I closed my eyes again and thought about it carefully. I shook my head when I couldn't remember the words."Who?" mom a

Hade promised me that he'd not tell anyone about the Cielo Alto. We enjoyed our stay at Cielo Alto. We toured the whole villa, admired the beauty of the mountains and the sky on my cabin's balcony, made a bonfire in the evening, and talked more about our past and what we thought of each other the first time we spoke. It was a site named Emerald. I have been using that during my off-season at the University since I dropped out. I was trying to enhance my communication skills since I don't particularly appreciate socializing that much, and I have to strengthen my communication skills since the degree I'm taking up requires good communication skills because we work around people, and we got connected; he was awkward and stiffed the first few minutes. But then he loosed a little when I started joking around. I'm really a good talker when I'm around people who are shyer than I. But I'm the quietest when I'm with people like Reyleigh and Taylor. They were social butterflies while I'm a wa

I am baffled about what to do about my feelings. Everything seems to happen way too fast as if someone clicked the eight times speed on my life. I suddenly achieved all of my goals and dreams in a span of a year. Mom suddenly returned to normal as if she had never suffered a stroke. Paris suddenly became responsible as if she was never lazy. And about dad? Enzo, Kurt, and Arnie all seem unreal, dad having his own company. I cannot digest this all. Having someone like Jarred around seems unreal, too; no one would just take care of you like that except your own mom if you're lucky enough to have a loving mother like that.Being one of the rising writers is unbelievable. I can travel anywhere I want with my mom and sister without worrying about money. It was just so surreal. I walked towards the stairs; I called Jarred last night and asked him to meet me today; I have something to discuss that I think only Jarred would understand. I saw mom and Paris sitting on the couch, watching me w

We walked around the hospital ground. The right side of the hospital was a golf course, while the left side was the hospital buildings. We watched the old man and lady play on the trail as we walked. They seemed like they were enjoying their lives to the fullest. I smiled as I watched them, mom should be doing that these times with her friends, but I ruined it. She was lying flat on her hospital bed. "What do you want to talk about, Sydney?" Hade asked. I looked at him and instantly looked away. I shouldn't be doing this, and I know deep down why I wanted to tell Hade how I feel, although I'm in this complex situation. We're not using him again as a distraction. I glanced at Hade and smiled at him as I shook my head. He stopped and stared at me. I stopped walking and walked back toward him. "You don't have to rush it, Sydney. I'm willing to wait this time." He smiled. My mouth slightly hung open, I was about to say something, but no voice came out. I stared at Hade's face, and he l