"Help her doc, please." Pagmamakaawang wika ng kapatid ko. "No! You should have let me die..." Umiiyak kong usal pero mabilis lang na umiiling si Karen at tiningnan ang doctor. "Doc, pakalmahin niyo po siya." Karen pleaded. Umiwas nalang muli ako ng tingin sa kanila dahil pagod na pagod na ako. The nurse injected me something that I lost my consciousness again. Muli akong nagising. Agad na nilibot ng aking mata ang paligid at nakita kong natutulog si Karen sa'king tabi. Nakayuko siya, ang katawan ang nakaupo sa isang upuan at ang kanyang ulo ay nasa bed ko. She's holding my hands as if she's afraid I might run or something. Siguro gabi na dahil hindi ko naman nakikita ang nasa labas. I touch her hair kaya agad naman siyang napagalaw. "Clea...? Do you need anything? May masakit ba?" Nabukadkad siya at dali-dali akong tiningnan. "No," I shook my head and gently smile. "Tawagin ko lang si Doc, sandali lang." Sabi niya at mabilis akong iniwan sa kwarto ng ospital. Sinundan

PART II I waited… for him to change. For him to love me the way I deserve. I'm no princess but I deserve to be treated right. To be loved and to be taken care of was my only dream. Pero hindi… hindi niya nagawang iparamdam sa'kin na mahal niya ako. He made me feel worthless at hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin magawang mahalin ang sarili ko katulad ng dati. I'm still broke and despite not wanting him anymore, I know he's my cure. "Mom, it's so hot!" Kitang-kita ko ang inis na rumehistro sa mukha ng anak ko. The sun is scornful making him grimace in annoyance as we headed out in the airport. I patted his head and smiled. "This is the Philippines, Quin. What do you expect?" I slowly laugh as I see him roll his eyes. "Can we go back in Norway now? I can't think I'll ever live here. It's so mainit, mommy." Ilang beses siyang nagpahid sa pawis niyang tumutulo sa Mukha niya kaya marahan ko siyang nilapitan at pinunasan. Habang lumalaki siya mas lalo siyang nagiging kamukha ni ano… h

2 Months being in the Philippines has been different. The way Joaquin entered in another school at kung paano s'ya nakatagpo ng mga kaibigan, he's enjoying his stay but I can't help but to get worried every single day na baka makita s'ya ni Miguel at magkakilala silang dalawa. I'm ready to face what the truth has to offer and its consequences but the mere fact that I still don't know how to explain everything to my son bothers me a lot. "Mom, let's go?" Kinalabit ako ni Joaquin ng makita n'ya akong nakatingin sa kanya ng matagal. I nodded and smiled as how excited he is to go to school everyday. Sana… kung dumating man ang araw na malaman n'ya ang lahat tungkol sa ama niya makita pa rin ako ng anak ko bilang mabuting ina. I can't endure the pain it will cause me if my son will hate me. "Wala ka na ba ang naiwan sa room mo? Are all your assignments done?" Binalingan ko siya ng tingin, he's busy looking around that he just nodded abruptly. Mabilis lang naman ang naging byahe nam