All Chapters of Afraid to Love Again: Chapter 71 - Chapter 80
91 Chapters
CHAPTER SEVENTY
I wake to see sunlight pouring in through the tall windows in our bedroom; the light casts shadows along the side of Gavin’s face where it’s turned facing me while he sleeps. I reach over and skate one finger down the side of his cheek, over the course stubble he’s grown since the last time he shaved. The hair under my fingers tickles my skin and I feel the tug of his mouth when he wakes.“You’re staring, Beautiful.”His voice is groggy with sleep and slides over my ears like velvet. Lying here with the man I love, I know that I’m safe with him. I trust him to keep me safe, no matter what happens. I smile softly and lean closer to him to catch the smell of his minty musky man smell and it smells of home.“Good morning.” I whisper against his lips and have to stifle a moan when he licks the seam of my lips, laying soft lips over mine. Sighing into his kiss, I open to him.“Definitely a good morning so far,” Gavin whispers against my mouth and I can feel his smile. His hand slides fro
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
I get up from my seat and slide to my knees in front of him. Wrapping my arms around him, I press my face into his neck and when his arms come around me, his mouth presses to my forehead.“I hate that I can’t protect you from this. You deserve the world, Sophia. I promise I’ll give it all to you, but first we have to ensure you are safe.”His voice is filled with the raw emotion we both feel in this moment. I can hear everything he’s feeling, even the things he doesn’t want me to, in his voice.Lifting my face, I press my mouth to his for a hard, desperate kiss.“Thank you.”It’s almost five by the time Gavin walks Spencer to the door and they shake hands. I hear the door click closed and sigh in relief that that part of the day is over.“How would you feel about a bath? And then I’ll let you be to get dressed.”Gavin helps me up, and when I stand I feel just a bit dizzy. I close my eyes, and sway into a warm, firm chest.“Sophia? Are you feeling alright?”I nod and smile gently.“Let
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
Kel is near tears as I make my way into the bridal room on the second level of St. Mary's Lutheran Church, the church where seventeen years ago, my dad married my mom. It’s also where I was christened as a baby, and that thought warms my heart."Sophia! Thank God you’re here!" She squeals, shimmying in her floor length wedding dress, and I gasp at the subtle beauty of the piece. I'd been shopping with Farah the day she found her dress and now, I just stand there with clutch in hand, taking it in. It's a low cut neckline, an ivory colored fabric that looks to be made of silky threads that hug her curves perfectly. The waist is tied at the back and as she turns I see the corset styled dress back, showing off her spine and an inked design I've not seen before. Holy crap! My jaw drops open and I just gape at her, walking closer to see the tattoo better. It’s beautiful, an intricate design of cursive writing and a singular red rose underneath the words, and I love him. I run my hand ov
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
By the time night sets, my feet are aching for relief from the heels I'm wearing. I sit beside Kel and Lucas along with the rest of the bridal party. Gavin is standing by the D J's table, and I wonder vaguely what he's up to. I don't think I can take another dance tonight, my feet are so sore. His stormy eyes shift to mine and he grins, giving me a wink as he approaches me, his eyes dancing between mine. My heart beats fast in my chest and when he stops in front of me, I find myself placing my hand in his once more."One more dance and then we can take off, okay baby?" He helps me stand, leading me back towards the thinning crowds of the lit dance floor, his lips brushing over my knuckles before he sweeps me back into his arms. Every fine toned line of his body presses to mine. I press my head to his chest, just like I did at that party the very first time he held me. I listen to the steady thrum of his heartbeat and the way he holds me and sweeps us across the floor makes me love
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
I watch him help her in the passenger seat of his truck and kiss her forehead before he closes the door.Walking back from the truck, Lucas stops in front of me and I can tell he doesn’t want to leave me on my own. Ever since he and Kel started dating, he’s been like a brother to me. Looking out for me. Being an ear to my worries and fears throughout this ordeal ever since I met Gavin and how my past has kept us from truly living out of the darkness. I wish he wouldn’t worry so much about me. Kel, too. They deserve happiness.“I’ll be fine. It’s only a five minute drive. Go take care of her, Luke.”Lucas draws his eyebrows together and looks at me for a while, almost like he’s trying to penetrate my thoughts. Finally he relents and leans in to kiss my head.“I’ll have her call you in the morning before we leave. Be safe.”Lucas gives me a small, concerned smile and ducks into the car, waving before peeling out of the parking lot and leaving me standing there.I blow out a breath, sha
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
I hear voices as the weight of darkness starts to ebb away from my mind and body, replaced with such pain in my face, hands, and stomach that I struggle to pull one small breath of air into my lungs."Is she going to be okay?" I know it is Gavin’s voice with all my heart. I would recognize his voice anywhere. His voice is laced with such fear that I want to reach out and comfort him, hold him. But, I can’t. My eyelids are too heavy to open and my limbs are impossible to move with such pain ratcheting my body. My mind is foggy and all I feel is Gavin's hand holding mine, squeezing tight and keeping me from falling back under the darkness."She's been beaten badly, but thankfully we got to her before anything worse could happen to her. She has broken ribs, cuts and bruises, but they will heal. It could be hours until she wakes up and then we'll be able to tell if she's suffered any emotional or mental damage. We'll do some tests to make sure she hasn’t lost any blood we're not aware o
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX
GavinI watch silently as Dr. Lee, the very same doctor who treated me only a few short months ago, checks my girl over. When he lifts her chin to examine the yellowing bruises across her cheek bone and eyes, I want to jump out of my skin knowing she’s in pain from that fucker. Bryce Williams. When we found the abandoned cabin where he was hiding Sophia, all I was focused on was getting her out of there alive. But Spencer knew to be prepared. I see Sophia’s eyes close as she flinches away from the doctor and I know if Spencer hadn’t shot the man responsible – I would have. I would have killed him.Blowing out a breath, I start to pace up and down the hospital corridor, impatient to go back in there with her. Being away from her after the torture of these last twenty four hours is almost too much to take. Christ, I could have lost her.“Mr. Thomas?” I hear the doctor’s voice and turn to face him. Shadows cover his face and somehow I know the news he has for me will be worse than I
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-SEVEN
SophiaThe ocean waves crash in and out of the shore of the lake and I watch them rip in and out in time with the setting sun behind me. I can hear Gavin approaching from behind me as well, and the warmth his presence brings me covers my unheated skin. I only wear a shawl over my slender shoulders and the light sundress I wear tonight isn’t warding off the chill the wind brings in as the sun sets.“Hey, Beautiful. I was looking for you.” I hear his voice first, smooth as velvet to my ears.Gavin pulls me gently into his chest and into his warm embrace. I sag against him and tip my face up to see the stormy blue gray eyes I’ve come to memorize since I’ve known him.“I missed you. Are you feeling okay?”I turn fully into his embrace and rest my chin on his collarbone as I blink up at him.“Yes. Where were you?”His eyes narrow and just now do I realize he is shirtless and there is a small inked design across his right shoulder. I move a step back and read it carefully.Never Forget,T
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT
I wake just like before except now I feel Gavin’s smooth hand along my back and his muffled voice telling me I’m safe now. What he doesn’t know is that I’m not afraid because of Bryce or what he put me through. I’m afraid that I’ll never get the chance to love a child the way I know I would have loved our baby. I move my head to the crook of his neck and inhale his musky smell. I love his smell and if I close my eyes, I can remember every time he’s held me like this. I wish to God it was enough to fill the gaping hole inside of me.“I dreamed of her,” I whisper. It feels as if a secret is told through those words, but I have to say it.He deserves the whole truth of what I’m feeling. No less.Gavin leans away slightly at my words and I see the stark pain in his stormy eyes.“I would have named her Tessa Lynn. After your grandmother. She had your brown hair and my green eyes and she was so beautiful, Gavin. She was our baby.”Thick tears fill his eyes as he nods. My breath leaves me,
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE
I lie in the hospital bed and will myself to go outside of this room and beg Gavin to come back. To hold me. To be with me. But in my heart, even with how painful it is, I know if I do that, I’ll only hurt him. I have to find a way to heal on my own and then maybe, just maybe, we can be what we used to be. When I can look at his face and see the love and contentment he’s brought out in me. When I won’t see everything we’ve lost. Everything I lost. One thing I’m thankful for is that it seems I’ve cried all the tears I can musterand maybe that’s a good thing. I curl into the lumpy mattress beneath me and close my eyes to sleep. I lie eyes closed, feet burrowed into the sheets and will a deep sleep to find me. But I can’t seem to fallback into the darkness. I hear a faint knock on the door and see the young and tired looking face of Nurse Maggie pop inside my room. She smiles gently, for sure she must know what happened and the sympathy or pity on her face is almost too much to see
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