Semua Bab Dirty Little Secrets: Bab 21 - Bab 30
130 Bab
CHAPTER 21
“Jesus, Chloe. Let me push her back. You said yourself it was hard for you.”I took a deep breath and let go of the stroller, letting him take control. I wouldn’t argue in front of Milka. I’ll save it for later instead.Because there was bound to be a later, and if not, there’ll be a sooner. Either one worked for me.I trudged along behind him, and I was secretly thankful he pushed her. It was hard work before, and now it was getting dark. . . . And, yeah. I hated the dark.After several minutes we ended up at my yard and I dug for my key. I let us in through the back and Conor unstrapped Milka.“Can I put her to bed?” he asked.“I’ll get her some pajamas.” I turned and went upstairs to her room, checking she had everything in there. Double-checking. Triple-checking. Wishing I could take the CD out of the player because now it seemed so damn stupid.Hey, I kept your baby from you, but it’s totally okay because you still sing her to sleep every night.I banged my head against the wall
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CHAPTER 22
“Condom,” he murmured.“Pill,” I murmured back, pulling him toward me.I unbuttoned his jeans, shoving them down his thighs with my toes, and he lied on top of me. His body was hard and hot, heat spreading across my skin where his chest connected with mine. My hands trailed across his back, feeling his muscles flexing beneath my fingertips when he chucked his boxers to the side.He picked my legs up and pushed them open, the end of his cock resting against my opening. He pushed into me, and it hurt, it stung, but that was good and it was bad. I held him tighter, fighting the clenching of my muscles as he thrusted.Fast and furious, driven by our anger and frustration. From our kiss to our touch to his movements inside me, it was unrelenting. It was painful and soothing, chilling and thrilling. It’ was a dream and memory mixed into the past catching up with the present.It hit me like an explosion, and I cried into his mouth as the pleasure pulsated through my body. He tugged my hair,
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CHAPTER 23
She wasn’t used to this. I was.The invasion of her privacy could destroy her. The media was going to have a field day.“Jane’s on her way,” Bray said. “With the security team and the police.”“Great. It’s a fucking circus!” I snapped, running my hand through my hair. “Where’s Mom?”“Shopping,” Dad replied. “She’s going to have a heart attack when she gets back.”“Where is she?” Aiden stood. “I’ll bring her back.”“No need,” I said wryly. “She’s showing them where Leah gets her attitude from.”Southern women: sweet as pie and strong as hell.“Assholes, takin’ up my damn driveway!” Mom fumed as she came through the door. “What’s a woman gotta do to feed her family nowadays?” She found Aiden. “Aiden! What did you do?”“For once, nothin’.” He practically growled at her. “They found out about Milka.”Mom looked stunned. “Oh, Lordy.”I ran my hand through my hair again. “Did you bring the groceries in?”“No. I wanted to know why I have vultures in my drive.”“Good.” I opened the front door
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CHAPTER 24
“How do we do it? Go from yellin’ at each other to being kinda normal like this?”I shrugged. “Because something like this is about Milka, but when we’re alone and it’s just us, it’s about us. When it’s about Milka we work on instinct, but when it’s about us we work on emotion.”“Good . . . Because we’re gonna need to work a lot on instinct,” she said softly. “Come and stay with us until we work out how to handle this.”I stopped. “Stay with you?”She nodded, looking at me from under her eyelashes. “Guest room is empty. You can stay there and spend time with Milka, and it’ll be safe. They have no idea who I am, right?”“There were no pictures with the article, so I guess not.”“Then my house is safe. It only has to be for a few days. I won’t even have to be there all the time.”“Are you sure?”“You got any better ideas?”“Uh, no.”“Then yes, I’m sure.” She lowered my hands from her face and stepped back. “Go and pack some stuff and, uh, maybe put on a shirt, then when Milka wakes up w
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CHAPTER 25
“Shut up. I can’t believe you bought her a sandbox.”“Yeah, yeah, I got that. Now shut up and let me build it before she wakes up again.” He tugged on my hair and walked past me. His security guys came through, high-fiving him, and I looked on.When the hell did he have time to order a freakin’ sandbox?I ran out to the yard. “You’re buildin’ it?”He waved a hammer over his head. “I’m a regular handyman now.”“Conor, putting the baby gate up wasn’t rocket science. I’m sorry, but I did it in my apartment. And if you wave that hammer about anymore, you’re going to knock yourself out! Conor!” I shrieked when he waved it too vigorously.He laughed, putting it down and slicing the box open with a penknife. “Calm down, princess. I promise not to hurt myself.”“Oh, that’s comforting. I see this arrangement is off to a fabulous start.”Seriously, a few days in this house with just me, Milka, and Conor? What the hell was I thinking?Oh, that's right. I wasn’t.We weren’t a happy fucking family
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CHAPTER 26
Ugh, baby mama. I hated that term.I sighed and picked up Milka’s dolly. I smoothed her hair down and gazed out of the window. What would I do if they turned up here? How would I be able to protect Milka then?I was not naive. Sooner or later one of the gossips would figure out that Chloe Hudson’s secret baby was Conor Jame’s. Even if they didn’t know for sure, which they wouldn’t, they’ll guess. A lucky guess was all it’d take.Then every aspect of Milka’s life would be shredded and examined, ready to be exposed to every person in America. She’ll grow up in the public eye, constantly scrutinized for how she looks and acts. She’ll always be his daughter, never just Milka.I threw the doll in the toy box and dropped back onto the sofa. I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this for her. I never wanted us to hide once the truth was out.I never thought it would be such a big deal. I never thought it would matter to anyone beyond the Conor family. I never thought we’d be sitting the
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CHAPTER 27
"Bacon cheeseburger, obviously.”Bray winked and turned to the bar. I sat back in my chair and kept looking at the menu, even though I remembered it well enough. Ooh, chocolate fudge cake.“Excuse me? Is that Bray you’re with?”I blinked harshly and turned to the teenage girl standing next to the table with stars in her eyes. “Um, yes?”She inhaled excitedly and flapped her hands.Seriously, what was that?“Do you think you could get his autograph for me? Wait, are you on a date?”“I’m not sure, and no, we’re not. We’re friends.”“Oh, good. ’Cause I really love him.” She grinned widely, practically shaking.I stared at her. “I can ask him for an autograph when he gets back if you want, uh . . . ?”“Valentine,” she breathed.“Oh, look, he’s coming back now.” I gave Bray a look that told him to hurry the hell up.I was so not equipped to deal with fangirls.“What’s up, buttercup?” he asked, stopping next to the girl and setting our drinks on the table.Okay. Now she was shaking. And was
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CHAPTER 28
“He’ll probably ask me how long it took you to get inside my pants.” I sighed. “Then he’ll go all jealous and proceed to pin me up against a wall somewhere and kiss the shit out of me.”“You don’t sound so averse to the wall-pinning.”“Mmph,” I grunted as he pulled into my drive and I stared at the front door. “Know what I hate? I hate that we still feel the same as we did when I left Santa Monica. That fucking nothing has changed. I wish he could hate me without loving me at the same time, because then maybe I wouldn’t love him as much back.”“Still happy?” Bray turned in his seat and raised his eyebrows at me.I backhand slapped his chest. “I was. Once. Now all that gives me even a modicum of happiness is Milka. I love her, so much, Bray, but I wish I didn’t love her daddy. I wish with everything I have that I didn’t want him the way I do.”“You need to go to bed, Chloe,” he cut in.“Why? I’m only saying my thoughts out loud.”“I know. But I’m not the person you should be saying the
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CHAPTER 29
It was dumb as fuck in the first place. I knew Chloe and Bray didn’t have anything going on. Hell, he’s told me more than once that he only sees her as his sister. I couldn’t imagine her feeling anything for him, either.Shit, if she really feels for me like she says, then she can’t feel anything for anyone else.Truth is, I couldn’t believe her when she said she loved me. If she left once, she can leave again. If she can lie to me once, she can lie again. There was the bottom line—I loved her but I didn’t trust her. I didn’t trust her not to run and take Milka with her.I didn’t trust her to not take everything from me again. Because she was my everything. She was every beat of my heart and every breath I took. Maybe we’d never have lasted forever, but we were in the moment, and that was what mattered.Now we were stuck in a fucked-up limbo.We wanted each other, and we loved each other, but neither of us wanted to. That wasn’t the basis for any kind of relationship, not even friends
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CHAPTER 30
Going downstairs, I got Milka out of her high chair and brought her into the front room with me. She jumped off the sofa almost immediately and toddled over to her toy box. I let her go and turned on the TV.It was right there:IS THE LEAD SINGER OF DIRTY J. A DADDY?Yes. Yes, he fucking is, and it’s none of your damn business, you nosy bitch.Somehow I didn’t think Mark would be impressed if I sent that in to their “What Do You Think?” email address. The screen flicked to their reporter, and the backdrop was my house. I turned the volume up to listen.“ . . . since his coming out yesterday to carry some groceries in, there have been no sightings of Conor or, indeed, any of Dirty J.”Carrying groceries in was making news now? Don’t they have anything better to be doing?“And what’s the general consensus outside the house this morning, Hanna? Is there any truth to the reports?”“Unfortunately we don’t know. Dirty J’s representatives aren’t returning calls or emails, so one would assume
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