“Would you stop pacing? It is incredibly annoying,” says Morrtemis, rolling her eyes as she sits lazily on my couch. Not sure how long I’ve been pacing back and forth but I don’t intend to stop. I pace when I’m agitated, something I seem to be very frequently these days. “She hates me. Surely she must hate me. I need to apologise; she has every right to hate me, but I don’t want her thinking she did anything wrong. What do I do?” I ask in desperation. “Grovel. Lots and lots of grovelling,” she states nonchalantly. “I’m being serious.” “So am I. You disappeared on the woman in the middle of sexy time, that’s not the same as just saying ‘I’m not in the mood’ which any decent person would understand. You got her all hot and bothered and then vanished without an explanation. So like I said, lots and lots of grovelling. Get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness and when you’re done grovelling, grovel some more and just keep going until she forgives you,” she says cheerfully. “Why

I’m walking down one of the hallways in the Kartheca telling myself to turn back, but no matter how hard I try, my feet keep carrying me forward. Looking around I see the vibrant red and gold carpet with blue and green accents that line the floor of the hallway, and the walls are lined with stunning tiles of cyan blue. Fear is building inside me like a kettle reaching boiling point. I know I’m having a nightmare and I’m willing myself to wake up, but nothing is happening. As my feet continue to pull me forward the sound of moaning makes its way to my ears, and I feel a sinking sensation in my stomach. I try once again to stop walking or to turn around, but I keep moving forward. I make my way towards a partially open door where the sounds of moaning and grunting increase in volume, and my arms with a mind of their own push the door open. Bile rises in my throat as I my sister Ceren laying on the bed, her cream and glittery gold body naked and exposed, her strawberry blonde hair fiste

It’s been two days since I saw Yildiz, and that’s not because I am avoiding her. I told her I would return, and I plan on keeping that promise, but she was right. I have been indecisive and it’s not fair to her. If I do return to her it has to be clear what I want, and that’s why I took the time to decide. If I remove all the voices in my head telling me why this is wrong, why this will only end badly, then all I’m left with is an overwhelming need to be with her. I don’t even care that we’re two completely different species, if Zarseti believed it can work then it has to. Yildiz is strong and wilful. She’s passionate and compassionate and sees things in ways I haven’t in a very long time. When I’m near her I feel light and at peace, but I also feel a desire unlike anything I’ve ever known, and that’s saying something. She drives me to madness and simultaneously pulls me from its clutches. She’s everything I never knew I wanted or needed and for some crazy reason she wants me, and th

Osiah still hasn’t returned, but I’m not worried. He wasn’t lying when he said he would return, so I have faith that he will. The man sure loves to test my patience but I’ll crack his hard exterior soon enough. I’ll find my way to the chewy middle and learn all his secrets… now I have a craving for some künefe. I wonder if we have any left in the kitchen. To keep myself busy and distracted I’m once again in the library. This time I’m multi-tasking. I’m looking through books that have a historical account of certain magics that have been used over the centuries, focusing specifically on dream magic. I’ve found a few that come close to my situation, but there aren’t enough similarities to lead me to believe they are the same. I’m also looking through what we have on the Orraikam and its history, to see if that might shed a light on who went near it. Every twelve hours my sisters swap shifts guarding the Orraikam and since we’ve been guarding it there hasn’t been another break-in, but

“I’ve never spoken to anyone about this. There are people who know, but it wasn’t because I told them, so this makes you the first,” I begin as I sit up and drag my hands down my face. The moment my life went to shit has played itself over and over in my nightmares. I look back on that night and think of all the ways I would change it, but I can’t. “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere,” she assures me as she sits up with me. She’s looking at me with so much patience. Not an ounce of judgement on her face. Yet. She reaches out, takes my hand, and intertwines her fingers with mine sending glorious heat through my palm. She’s soothing me and keeping me grounded and for that I’m grateful. I reach out and gently brush my thumb against her glittering, freckled cheek and watch her eyes gently close. I’ll never get tired of that reaction. “I’m a monster, Yildiz,” I say flatly, causing her to open her eyes, “But I wasn’t always like this.” I take in a deep breath and relax a little when s