Alle Kapitel von “Daddy, Will You Ever Love Me?”: Kapitel 221 – Kapitel 230

"OK, Dad. I think that's a good idea." I noticed my speech was slurred when I spoke. More importantly, when I got up, I lost my balance. It was painfully apparent that I had drunk too much. I wasn't drunk, but I was really buzzed. I let out an audible, "OOOPPPSSS."My father chuckled. "I knew I should have shut you off a while ago."I balanced myself as I made my way to the cab. Without thinking, I lowered my sweatpants to get into bed. It didn't dawn on me that I had no panties on. Initially, I forgot to bring panties with me to the shower. At the time, I had planned to change when I got to the truck. Because I focused on drinking with my father, I had forgotten to change. I was standing in a tank top, nude from the waist down, and had to look for something to wear. The room was spinning, so I decided to sit on the edge of the bed for a minute to pull myself together. All of a sudden, Dad moved, which meant he was going to bed, too. I wasn't thinking correctly and got under the blank

Over the next few weeks, I went shopping with my mother for outfits to bring with me on the trip. My mother had been to enough of these functions that she knew better than I did what the appropriate dress would be. It was the first time we did mom-daughter things together since high school. She offered advice on what to watch out for and filled me in on how some men think they can do whatever they want to women. She warned me to be careful and continuously told me to remind people who my father was. She told me she was nervous about me going to Las Vegas because it could be a seedy place and reminded me that I did not have much life experience despite my age. I reassured her that I would be mindful of my surroundings while there.The day had arrived for my father and me to leave. We flew first class, and my father gave me the rundown of events for the three nights of festivities. He informed me that we should enter and leave the events together. Like my mother, he told me that if anyo

I waited for him to let my hand go, and he didn't until our drinks came. Then he whispered, "Cheers to a great start to the night."It was loud in the hall, so I had to lean close to speak to him. "Yes, Dad. This is a great night. Thank you for bringing me. This has all been eye-opening. I am so happy to be here with you."He told me, "Finish your drink. It's only midnight, and we still have many more nights to enjoy Vegas." I did as he told me to. Then I finished the drink, and he again instructed me, "Come on, let's go somewhere more private."I was so confused about what my father's intentions were. I was buzzed, my mind was spinning, and I was nervous about our interactions since we got to the hotel. This person was not the version of my father that I had known. I contemplated telling him that I wanted to go to bed. But what if I misunderstood everything? How would I explain to my father that I thought he wanted to be intimate with me? He would be angry, and everything I do is to

I was trying to think of a response, but words wouldn't form in my head, let alone come out of my mouth. It took a few minutes, but I could finally form a sentence. "I am so scared, Dad."My father laughed. I wasn't sure if he was laughing at me or just laughing at our situation. He moved over and positioned himself next to me. He grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers again. "What are you afraid of, Kerri? Be honest with me. For once, speak your mind. Otherwise, you won't have any resolution on what is happening. Ask away. I promise I will be honest."I still don't understand how he could be so calm discussing this. It appeared to be expected of him. "I'm afraid of making you upset or that you will get mad at me. I don't like it when you are mad at me. I don't like it when I disappoint you. My brain has been racing all day. I have never seen this side of you."He told me, "I won't get mad. There are no stupid questions tonight. We need to get this out of the way before our relatio

I couldn't believe the plan he just laid out. It was very businesslike, with no emotion. It was also laid out with no regard for my input or if I was even willing to agree with any of it. I was looking for a back-and-forth where we both laid out our wants and needs. Describing interactions by using the word 'fucking' puts his agenda in perspective. This was all about him; he did not care about my input and was unwilling to suggest that I could have it. Now, I had to decide on how I should respond. Should I risk making him angry or do what I always do with my father: submit to his demands and needs? "OK, Dad. Thank you for clearing that up for me. I appreciate it." I knew I wasn't strong enough to stand up to him. I was always going to submit to him. Our entire relationship is based around him being domineering, while I have always been submissive to him. I genuinely believe my vulnerability keeps him interested in me; regardless of tonight's events, this has always been the basis of o