Ruin me, Stepbrother のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 171 - チャプター 180

I woke up furious.It was not the slow-building anger that creeps up on you as you remember why you're pissed. No, this was very instant, and it was visceral, the kind of rage that had me throwing off my covers and storming to my bathroom before my eyes were fully open. My jaw was clenched so tight that it ached, and my hands balled into fists, and the whole of my body was vibrating with a fury that had nowhere to go.Fuck Jax. Fuck his noble bullshit about me deserving better. Fuck his hypocritical confrontation about Miles when he was the one who'd pushed me toward this in the first place. Fuck everything about last night.I turned the water on, and the shower was scalding, and it felt like it was painful, literally, but I stood under the spray anyway, letting the heat beat against my shoulders while I replayed the entire scene in my head. The way his face changed when I called him a hypocrite. The way his voice had cracked when he said he hated this. The fucking audacity of tellin

I peeped the time on my phone and it was 5:03 PM, and my legs were screaming.I'd spent most of the afternoon in my room, alternating between working on my laptop and taking breaks to stretch my sore muscles. Every single time I stood up, my quads were not in support of it, and every time I walked, my glutes reminded me that I'd been a fucking idiot at the gym this morning. But the pain was good. It was grounding. It kept me focused on something other than the growing knot of anxiety in my stomach that's all just cause of one thing, tonight.Mom came around earlier, and by earlier, I mean like... that was one, two, wait, that was three hours ago.She came just a few minutes past 2 PM to ask if I wanted lunch, but I told her that I'd grabbed something when I was out in the gym, which was a big fat lie. I only had a protein shake in my car, and I promised I'd eat dinner, which was another lie cause I'm going out to meet Miles at 7, and I didn't tell her because she'd either make funny

The wine was good, and even though the food was coming soon, I was anticipating some absolutely excellent meals. Miles was being charming and attentive and everything a girl could want on a date.And I was trying. Really fucking trying."So tell me about Chicago," I said, taking another sip of my wine. "How was the business stuff with your dad? You know that's exactly what you said when you were talking on the phone. Business stuff"Miles made a face. "Boring as hell, honestly. A lot of people sitting in conference rooms listening to all of them talk about contracts, liability clauses and all of that. But it was good for him to have me there. He's been trying to get me more involved in how the family business works, and it's really cool I'm not gonna lie.""Is that what you want?" I asked. "The whole corporate lawyer thing?"He considered that, swirling his wine. "I don't know. It's good money, a stable career, makes my old man happy, and probably makes me chill cause of the money and

The sunlight streaming through my curtains was the first thing that made me realize I'd slept and woken up, then my entire body that's screaming in protest.For a confused, painful moment, I couldn't figure out why every single muscle felt like it had been run over by a truck. Then yesterday's gym session came flooding back, the squats, the deadlifts, the absolutely stupid amount of weight I'd loaded onto every machine in a desperate attempt to burn off my rage at literally everyone, and I groaned into my pillow.Then I remembered my time out with Miles, and to an extent I told myself that it was all worth it, even as my quads seized up when I tried to straighten my legs. It's totally fucking worth it.My phone said the time was 9:47 AM, and if it had lied to me before I wouldn't believe it cause that means I'd slept almost eleven hours.I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept that long. My body had apparently decided that after the physical and emotional punishment of the last fe

When I left the boutique, it was almost 2:30. I could feel the nervous energy building in my chest, that pre-outing anxiety, and I don’t know why exactly I’m feeling it right now.We were together yesterday, and I didn’t even feel like this then. The last time i could remember feeling something like this was the first time we both went on a proper date, that was first time we were at La Vie en Rose, and I'd been nervous then too but for different reasons. That had been early in all of this. I mean, yes there was this whole thing with Jax, but it hasn’t imploded and rebuilt itself into something new and complicated and impossible.This time, it felt different. There’s much higher stakes, somehow. Like tonight actually mattered in a way that every other didn’t, or maybe the curiosity drive for what he’s planning is what’s aggravating what’s already there.I drove home slowly, taking the long way, letting the music from my carefully curated "Feelings" playlist fill the car. By the time I