Emory-Beep, beep, beep, beep… Beep, beep, beep, beep… Beep, beep, beep, beep. I slammed the “dismiss” button on my phone to end the aural torture. Most people set their morning alarm to some kind of preset music that gently awakens them. Me, I have to have the most obnoxious racket I can stand to get me out of bed on time or I end up having dreams about elevators and waking up late. I don’t want to get out of bed. It’s cozy and warm, for one thing. For another, I worked out through a hangover yesterday and today I am feeling it. When I say “feeling it,” I mean I’m three painkillers away from being able to stand back up from the toilet. But I will not fail! I can’t be that person that wimps out on New Year’s resolutions in the first week. I take a look at the clock– shit, 7:15 AM already– and quickly revise my plan for the morning. As much as I want to call in sick, I need my job. I need it like I need to eat. Well… I need it because I need to eat. I knew better than to get an int
Last Updated : 2026-01-20 Read more