جميع فصول : الفصل -الفصل 28

Madelaine I shut the door of my room and leaned back against it. I didn't know what scared me more—that I was this close to dying, that I was all alone with someone who could hurt me this bad, or that Ben could do this. My body was trembling, but this time not from pleasure; it was from fear and the rush of air into my lungs. My heart was pounding fast and hard against my ribcage, it felt like I was swallowing in on myself.“You are not scared, Madelaine. Nothing is coming to hurt you. It’s all in your head.”I remembered my sponsor's words and just tried to take deep breaths, blinking back my tears. A bang hit the door behind me and my heart skipped a beat.“Madelaine,” Ben’s voice called. “I’m sorry,” he said, fidgeting with the doorknob and trying to push the door open. I pushed to my knees and pushed the door back, and as soon as it closed, I clicked the lock.“Please, open the door. I’m sorry. Please.” I said nothing. I couldn't speak, my throat hurt too much.“Madelaine, OPEN T

Madelaine Ben and I have been good. Normal. Back to the way it used to be except without the kissing or all of that or sleeping together too. However, I had a really bad episode last night and Ben had to pry open my door and hold me to sleep for the rest of the night.I felt safe again.My sore throat was long gone and I have stayed away from the topic of the sex room and the drawings. Just normal routine; waking up—now I went on morning runs with Ben—and then we got back and fed the animals and then checked on our garden. The fruits and veggies we planted were growing big and well. I never thought I’d be interested in gardening ever, but Ben and I resorted to whatever made the time pass. Like right now, we were gardening.“Oh my god, Benny look. It’s a huge weirdly shaped watermelon,” I gasped, digging it out of the dirt with my bare hands.Yeah, I started calling him Benny because "Doctor" now felt too horny. He hated it, but he was getting used to it. I harvested the watermelon an

Madelaine “Do you always wake up this early?” Bronwyn asked, her face deep into the soft pillows.“Yeah, Dr. Cavanagh and I have like this little routine every day, now we are going for a run,” I said.She chuckled. “Dr. Cavanagh. Just call him Ben.”“I don’t know, it’s weird,” I said.“What do you call my mom? Aunt Hermy?” She sat up, tying up her hair.“It’s different… I just—well now I just call him Benny. He hates it but he answers anyway,” I explained, putting on my running shoes.“So, you guys must be like best friends now. You don’t think he is weird? You have spent three weeks here with him, how has it been?” she asked.“Well, I do think he is very weird but we get along,” I answered.“Yeah, cuz you both like nerdy things,” she said.I huffed a laugh. “Not really.”“Be right back,” I told her, heading out of my room with my headphones.I heard voices in the living room, like chatting and laughter. I walked closer and heard Hermy laughing at something Ben said. When I finally

Benjamin “Will you go join them instead of pacing around the house like a lunatic?” Hermy said, tired of my pacing and brooding around the house.I shrugged. “I don’t know if I want to intrude on their girl time. Maybe I could just watch them from the treehouse,” I said.Hermy closed the book she was reading. “Fine, let’s go.”“No, watching them would be weird. What if they take off their clothes?” I said.Hermy scoffed. “Yeah, right. Like you care when a woman has no clothes on.”I did when it was Madelaine.“Let’s just go, come on,” she urged.I grabbed my jacket and then we went to pull out old bicycles from the garage and rode them to the old treehouse in the middle of the woods, it was closer to the beach. I climbed up the tree into the dusty old house.“Jeez, I should get this place cleaned,” I hissed.We sat by the bench on the window and then I pulled out the binoculars and stared into them. I didn’t see anything at first and that made my heart skip a beat. I hadn’t been worr