All Chapters of HER: Secrets I carried alone : Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

I stared at my phone after sending the message, my thumb hovering slightly over the screen. How about that date?The more I looked at it, the more unnecessary it started to feel. Maybe I only sent it because I needed a distraction. Maybe I just wanted something lighter to focus on after everything that happened earlier. Either way, suddenly the message felt impulsive enough to make me want to take it back. I was already about to delete it when my phone buzzed immediately. "Seriously, you want to go on a date with me? I blinked slightly at the message.He sounded genuinely excited. Not fake excited either. Actually happy. Before I could even reply, my phone started ringing. Jay.I stared at his name for half a second before answering. "Hey," I said quietly."Hey." The smile in his voice was obvious immediately. There was a small pause before he spoke again. "Are you serious abo

The next morning, I expected Ella to walk into class late like she usually did, complaining dramatically about how university was trying to kill her slowly. But she never showed up.At first I didn't think too deeply about it because Ella skipped classes sometimes, especially when she was stressed or tired, so I just assumed it was one of those days. Still, during tutorials I found myself checking my phone more than usual. No messages.That felt strange. By the second day, I started getting slightly irritated. Ella had disappeared before, but never without talking to me properly first. Even when she wanted space, she still replied eventually, even if it was just something dry and unserious. This time there was nothing.I texted her during lunch.Are you alive? No reply.A few hours later I texted again. You're actually worrying me now.Still nothing. I tried distracting myself with Jay, classes, rando

Ella stayed close to me even after her crying slowed down, like she was scared that putting space between us would make everything she was feeling come rushing back all at once. Her head rested lightly on my shoulder, and I could still feel the way her breathing kept catching every few seconds, like her body hadn't fully accepted what had happened. I didn't move away. I just stayed still with her because anything else felt too harsh for a moment like that. The room was quiet in a way that didn't feel calming, it felt heavy, like even the air had slowed down to match her grief. After a while she lifted her head and wiped her face again, her hands still shaking slightly even though she was trying to steady herself. "I feel so stupid," she said quietly, staring at her lap like she couldn't meet my eyes. I turned a little toward her, my brows drawing together. "Why would you think that?" She let out a breath that sounded m

I woke up the next morning with my heart feeling light and seriously excited for the date. For once, I wasn't letting anything ruin my mood. I just wanted to be myself, properly, for the first time in a long while. I hoped I wouldn't regret it. I had my bath while listening to Lana Del Rey's album Ultraviolence. Her songs always had a way of softening something inside me, like they understood things I didn't even say out loud. I already had braids, so I just styled my hair, laid my edges neatly, and got ready. I slipped into the outfit Jay got me, and it looked so pretty on me. I wore the jersey and tucked the bottom under my bra so it sat like a cropped top, then paired it with the jorts. I kept checking myself in the mirror longer than I needed to. When I got outside, I saw him already waiting. He was staring at me.Not in a casual way, but like he had to pause for a second just to take me in properly. "You're so beaut

A few weeks laterThe sound of my alarm dragged me out of sleep earlier than I wanted, and for a few seconds I just laid there staring at my ceiling, trying to convince myself to get up. University was seriously starting to feel like a punishment at this point. I reached for my phone beside me, blinking at the brightness of the screen before checking the time. I already had messages waiting for me. Jay.A small smile appeared on my face almost immediately.Good morning pretty girl. Another text sat underneath it.Please tell me you're awake because I refuse to believe I'm the only suffering person up this early. I laughed softly under my breath before replying.Unfortunately I'm awake. His reply came almost instantly.Tragic. I shook my head smiling before finally forcing myself out of bed. The weather outside looked dull through my curtains, the kind that made staying under blankets feel ten times more a