All Chapters of The Morning After, I Heard Him Call Me Practice: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

Ryan’s family lived next door to mine. They had moved in when I was eight.The first time I saw him, he was getting out of a car with a box of books in his arms. I was standing by our gate, and he asked if I wanted to carry half. From then on, I spent ten years following him around.As the cab pulled up, I saw his family’s porch. Ryan’s bike leaned against the wall. I had helped him replace the front tire last year.I wanted to go somewhere the house would be out of sight.My parents were away for a relative’s anniversary celebration and would be back in two days. At home, I followed the advice I had received from the pharmacist, bought what I needed, and took care of it according to the instructions.Afterward, I sat on the living room rug while the light slowly faded from the windows.Last night, I had been thinking about calling Mia to tell her Ryan might like me. She would have asked, “Did he actually say it?”I would have told her I could feel it.I was glad that conversation had

“You haven’t eaten, have you?” he asked.“No.”“Then eat something.”I remained by the doorway. Ryan set down his cup.“You didn’t answer any of my messages last night.”“I saw them.”“Did you take care of what we talked about?”“Yes.”“Okay.” His shoulders eased. “Tell me if you’re feeling unwell.”I looked at him. His concern seemed real, and so had the things he said in that classroom.“Leah.” He slid the coffee toward me. “Your stomach acts up when you skip meals. Eat before we talk about this.”“I’m fine.”“You don’t seem fine.”I wanted to ask whether his friends had put words in his mouth at school. I wanted to ask about the kiss with Blair too, but I was afraid he would give me an explanation I’d once have accepted.“You should go,” I said.Ryan frowned. “I explained the party. Blair drew a card, and everyone made a big deal out of it. I can talk to you about it if you’re upset, but I don’t have to ask your permission every time I do something.”“I know.”“Then why are you acti

“Your friends are waiting,” I said.“Fine. When you get to Boston, don’t expect me to show you around or help you move into your dorm. You can’t shut me out and then wait for me to make things right.”I looked at the boarding pass in my hand. England was printed on it. The confirmation from Los Angeles was in my inbox.“I won’t,” I said.“What?”“I’ll find my own way.”I ended the call and turned off my phone.In the distance, Ryan returned to the group with a hard look on his face. He handed the phone back to his friend, took Blair’s luggage, and headed toward the gates on the left.I went right.In England, Grandma took one look at me and spent the next several days cooking the foods I had loved as a child. We browsed the old bookshop near her house, repotted plants in her garden, and sat in the kitchen while she told me stories about her youth.She asked about school and whether the holidays had worn me out. She gave me time to explain my sudden visit when I was ready.I kept my day

I ended the call and blocked the number Ryan had borrowed. When my phone asked me to confirm, my finger hovered before I tapped the screen.I stayed at Grandma’s front gate, my palms damp with sweat. A delivery van pulled up at the corner. Its driver opened the door, and a dog barked in the yard next door. The street carried on around me while Ryan’s last words stayed in my ears.Think carefully. You might regret it.When I was little and stayed at his house past dark, he would say, “Your mom’s going to come looking for you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Later, when we argued, he would tell me to think carefully in that same tone.Once, I said I wanted to skip an aerospace exhibit he had planned for the weekend. All he asked was, “You’re really not coming?” By the next morning, I had changed my mind.I had always gone back to him. This time, I watched the unfamiliar number on my screen until the display went dark. I left it blocked.Grandma leaned out from the garden. “Leah, could you

He continued reading. Mom was still watching me.“You and Ryan had a fight, didn’t you?”“Things happened between us.”“I’m worried you made this decision while you were upset.”“I applied to that school myself,” I said. “I wanted to go when they offered me a place.”“Then why didn’t you tell us?”I took a moment.“Ryan’s going to Boston. I used to think I should go too.”Mom’s expression changed.I had told her countless times that the schools in Boston had courses I could take while Ryan studied aerospace nearby. She had been pleased for me. She had heard my plans without knowing how much I had shaped them around his.“And now you want to live in a different city?” she asked.“Ryan’s seeing Blair,” I said. “Staying as close as we were would make things difficult.”I kept what I had heard in the activity room to myself. Repeating those words to my parents would take me back to the hallway that afternoon, and I needed more time before I could tell that story.Dad studied me. “If Ryan w