The Finis of Everything

Finis 

"Finally! We graduated!" West happily said

W all laughed when he started dancing like an idiot.

"I never thought that you still have a chance to pass your fourth year college West" I joked

West hold his chest and act like he is hurt "The heck Astraea! You're underestimating me!" He said dramatically

They all rolled their eyes when they saw how North snaked his arms on my waist.

"What a scene" East said and rolled his eyes

I laughed to his reaction, he never changed. He is still cold and disgusted whenever he sees a couple being sweet to each other

"Psh don't act like you don't have a fianeé East" North teased

Again, East rolled his eyes "Don't even mention her! She doesn't support me. She forgot that today is my graduation"

I can feel how pissed he is. Poor Tempest, surely they will fight again

"Bro maybe she's just busy" West comforted him

"Busy with other girls" he added

West laughed so loud. He thinks it is funny? I hope he will be having a bad day tomorrow

"We are leaving guys" Finally North said it

The two of them furrowed their brows. They don't know that we have a date, well we are not oblige to tell them everything that we will do

"We have a date, I am sorry if we didn't tell you earlier"I apologized to them

I thought they will not allow us to leave but then they let us go. Seems like they also have date.

"Let's go" he said

_______

I was happy when the graduation ended. After all the problems that I faced before graduating is totally tiring. I'm actually thinking how I survived those obstacles, mayve with the help of my new friends.

We decided to go out for an outing to unwind, afterall we deserve it. I am the only girl in our outing and yet I don't feel awkward with them. They are my savior and from the time I met them I started to think that maybe I am really lucky.

They say I am too lucky, that after all I am still alive. Yes it is true, that I am lucky to meet them, especially him.

He gave me another life, a reason to continue my journey again. He was the only reason why I still want to live. My living anchor

He reads me like a book, the way he looked at me feels like he is memorizing every bits of me and yet, every bits of him is a lie

Through the days that I am nothing he was there.  Never  thought that in the dark there is still a light

For the past months that I am with them, they give me advices like I am their little sister, which is wrong, because I am older but they know a more and they proved a lot of things to me and right now, they proved another thing to me, and that is “All of the people around you are not true, some are just deceiving you”

Sadly, they are the proof. I can’t believe that simple videos and papers can make realize these things. They are amusing; they could keep things like this and act like they truly care for me? Where on this earth they get their courage huh? Can they give me some? How could they experiment my mental health? Am I a fucking research for them?

I don’t know what to react after I watched the videos. My lips parted apart because of what I just watched, that is why I started to read the papers near the laptop only to confirm that it is true.

I immediately felt weak. It feels like my heart is frayed into pieces. I gritted my teeth because of the anger and disappointment that I feel right now.

The paper is already crumpled because I hold it tight too much, then I feel the hot liquid gushing down on my cheeks.

“Hey what took you-”North stopped speaking when he saw me holding some papers

He smiled at me and tried to snatch the papers from my hands “That is nothing love”

“What is this huh?” I asked and raised the papers

“It is nothing okay” he said and smiled

He still managed to smile huh? No wonder why he easily fooled me. Well he is so good at lying and manipulating my mind

He tried to get closer to me but I stepped backward. I don’t know him anymore; I can’t believe that he will lie to me again.

“Stop there” I said, trying to control my anger

But he is hard-headed, he still walked towards me, and because of that I can clearly see his face. I am just looking at his face but I feel like I wanted to scream

“I said stop!” I roared in anger

I can’t believe that I could be this angry; I am not like this to him but this time, it is different.

My tears won’t stop falling, like it is my first time to cry. Why he did this? I got confused on how I feel right now. I am disappointed and angry but the pain that I feel is more evident.

“What the fuck is this North?! A fucking experiment huh?”  shouted at the top of my lungs

I can’t recognize my voice anymore, I feel like an ogre entered my body and takeover my system

“Calm down love, that is just nothing so put it down” he said

So he is still calm huh? His face, he looks like he is being accused of something that he never did, but he will not fool me anymore, he already lied a lot of times to me, so why would I still trust him?

“Are you an idiot? How could I calm down when I just found out something horrible?’ I asked

“Love let me explain, okay? We will not understand each other if we will shout at each other” he answered

I rolled my eyes at his remark. Does he think that I will still listen to him? I will never listen to him again, even though he begs

He reached my hand “Let’s fix this problem because I am ready to tell everything”

I removed his hand on mine “I am tired North to your excuses and explanations. You already had a lot of lies, let’s stop everything” I said

I walked away from the room without looking back. I crossed path with East but I didn’t bother to look at them because I know that they are part of that research. I don’t have time to play with their mind boggling games

I thought that he didn’t walk after me, but North suddenly grab my hand that is why I look back at him

“Astraea lisen to me, I just need to do it but I didn’t want to do it, I swear” he said

I looked at his Angelic face. That face always asked for my forgiveness and I always do forgive him. I never thought that behind his angelic face he hides his dark secrets

“You never truly loved me North. You are just fascinated how love works and who most likely to fall in love first”

His hands loosen and that means I hit the bull’s eye. I know that my hunch is right

“I am right, right? You are just curious how love works but you don’t really meant to enter this relationship” 

I didn’t wait for his answer because even his voice shutters me into pieces. I left him standing in awe

I want to hurt so bad and point his face many times, but I can’t do that because I still love him and I know that I am dumb

“Astraea!” he shouted

I stop walking, I am thinking if I should turn around to look at his face again. Maybe for the last time I could look at his face, and as I turn around I saw him crying

I want to run to him and hug him tight and I will tell him that everything is okay, that I already forgive him. But if I will do that I will just tolerate him to do another lie.

“I’m sorry, but trust me. I truly love you” he said

I laughed a little because of his statement. I don’t know if I will still believe to him or this is just one of his games again

“Trust? I don’t trust you anymore” I said painfully

“I just did it because-”

“You need it” I finished his sentence

I immediately turn around and walk away because I can’t take this aqnymore, I am so tired shouting at him. I am so tired listening to his excuses.

“Is this the finis?’ he shouted

I didn’t look back, because I might want to go back and forgive him. I still love him even though he lied a couple of times. I know I sound dumb but this is true, because this is how love works

Despite of love that we feel towards each other, it is in the middle of fear and lies. It is funny but true, we lie to protect someone but little did we know, the time that we lie we already hurt them. That is how North thinks

For now, this is the finis