Lillian Blackwood

Lillian Blackwood

By:  Elizabeth Green  Completed
Language: English
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*****Trigger Warning***** This book contains mature themes, physical, sexual and emotional abuse. My name is Lillian Blackwood. I thought my life was over. I had been beaten down and controlled by my ex both emotionally and physically for years. It was, do or die. Fortunately, I survived, and with therapy and time, I finally started some semblance of a life. The very last thing I was looking for was love. I hate dating, and quite frankly, I'm not a fan of men and who can blame me? I keep a very tight circle of friends, so I was surprised when love pushed and shoved its way into my life. But not all fairytales have happy endings, and my tale certainly gives happiness a run for its money.

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Karen Edelen
Are you going to continue this story?
2023-01-20 05:13:03
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Hails
This is a really good story. so far I feel like it shows to some extent what some women go through with domestic violence and how things eventually, can turn around for the better for the survivor and worse for the abuser.
2021-06-09 18:45:37
1
41 Chapters
Prologue
                                                 *****WARNING******* This book may cause triggers and contain mature domestic violence themes, flashbacks of sexual, physical and emotional abuse, and medical trauma. This story may not be for you.                                                  ********************   Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things
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Chapter 1
Four years earlier, the escape   Lately, I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror and I wonder who is that young woman looking back at me. What happened to her? There’s a glazed look in her eyes and tiredness and yet she is alert all at the same time. She appears to be sad and depressed when he isn’t here. With a sigh, I plaster on a smile. Dean loves you; it’s going to a good day. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that”, the woman in the mirror smirks at me, “It may be a different day, but it’ll end the same as every other day, and it’s your fault” she points her finger at me, blaming me. I look away from the mirror. I can’t stand the bitch telling me how stupid I am; I know it’s my fault. I don’t need her to point it out. I should have cooked something different. Maybe that would have made a difference. Last night was a bad one. I’m surprised I can even walk straight with what he did to me last night. I feel so damn
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Chapter 2
  The memories of last night overwhelm me. Things should have been perfect and yet.   I turn the oven on low to keep our dinner warm. I look around for anything else I might have missed. I have put the laundry away and dressed nice, neat, and clean to Dean’s liking, but still, I feel like I’ve missed something. I fidget on the spot; this red piece of lingerie he wanted me to wear is entirely impractical—the slightest movement and the tiny string bites into the crest of my arse. But if I want to have a good night, a peaceful night, I must follow Dean’s every command. I don’t think my body can take another night of abuse like last night; I’m still very sore. I start to fidget again, I want to make him happy I do, but sex with Dean isn’t like it used to be. Ha! Used to be, I don’t think he has ever been gentle. I bite my lip nervously, “Everything is going to be okay”, I whisper to myself.
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Chapter 3
Present Day   “I will hunt you down”, he breathes in my ear. “I will hunt you, like the fucking pig that you are.” He snarls, “I will kill you and your family if you ever leave me.” “I-I promise, I won’t leave. I don’t want to leave Dean. Please!” I beg him. I wholeheartedly believe he will kill my family and me. “Not good enough. Come,” Dean orders. He tugs my arm hard and drags me to the car, tossing me into the passenger side, slamming the door behind him. When he climbs into the driver's side, he smiles at me sinisterly and starts the car. We drive down a very dark long dirt road with no streetlights. Dean stops, puts the car in park, and turns to me with an icy stare and evil smirk. He turns the headlights off; for a moment; we’re in complete darkness. Just as quickly as he turned them off, he turns the lights back on to high beam. We’re in the bush, the kind of plac
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Chapter 4
I have four ladies in my final session. Rebecca, who typically runs this group, filled me in about these ladies have not quite come out of their shell individually or with each other. So today, I will tell them a little of my story in the hopes that it will be small comfort to them and help them open up or, at the very least, not feel so alone even if they’re in a group with similar issues. “Good Morning ladies, my name is Lilly, and I have survived domestic violence.” We go around the group with introductions and some small talk. I can see how anxious everyone is.  “Rebecca asked me to be here today, to tell you a little bit of what I’ve been through since I left my abuser.” “Bec said it’s your last day”, Kelly states “It is.” “Can I ask why?” Annie asks in a small voice “I feel like it’s time.” Kelly gives me a quizzical look, “I’m not a trained professional. I do these sessions because I know it helped me in the beginni
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Chapter 5
This sunset is what I love about my apartment. This evening's sunset is stunning; the reds, pinks and purples and the golden sunset on the ocean. Dax is lying comfortably on my lounge, watching some TV show on the Comedy Channel, completely missing the setting sun happening directly behind him. He’s in the perfect spot to watch it, but instead, his eyes are thoroughly glued to the TV screen.  I would roll my eyes, but I can’t help but smile; even though I’ve been on my own for more than a year, I’m never truly alone, not with Benny and not with Dax always around. When I first moved in, I was so scared. Thankfully I have Benny, my godsend, in more ways than one. No man would attack me in my apartment without Benny getting a bite in first. Benny trots happily towards me, his long tail doing a slow swish, swish behind him. He sits down and waits for my command to greet me. God, he’s a good boy. I give him a scratch around his ears. Dax is still staring mind
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Chapter 6
“Come on, sweet stuff, time to strut” Dax pulls me from the booth “Don’t you mean strum?” I ask laughing He stops and looks at me with a smirk on his face, “You don’t strum little bird, I do.” He continues to drag me up to the stage. “No need to drag me.” He lets me go, and I fix my clothes while grumbling about his and his brother's nick name. At first, it was cute, but then it stuck, and after a while, a grown arse woman doesn’t want to be called ‘Little Bird’. The crowd claps and whoops as Dax gets situated with his guitar, and I approach one of the lead mics. I take a look around, getting a feel for the room. We have a good mix of men and women tonight, which is nice. Lately, Modus Grace has been a bit of a ladies band, so the mixture tonight is good for me. Ladies can be pretty possessive while drunk, even though they have no clue whether Dax is single or not. It’s remarkable what some people do. A couple of men wink at me, and lo
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Chapter 7
I smile at the faceless man with beautiful hazel eyes, and he gazes at me with such sweet sincerity, “Thank you.” I tell him.“For what?” he asks. “I don’t know”, I smile, but his eyes suddenly darken, and his face morphs into somebody I’m highly familiar with, Dean.“That’s right Bitch”, Dean mocks as I start to whimper and sob. “I want to hear you scream for me,” He murmurs low in my ear. “I won’t stop until you SCREAM!” He shouts; I blink as his saliva hits my face. He keeps moving, thrusting in and out, in and out. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of screaming, but the pain is beyond what I can bear. I start to tremble; tears roll nonstop down my face. He’s staring into my eyes; I can see how much he’s enjoying my pain and tears. He is so stupidly gratified I start to gag.
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Chapter 8
It’s been an unexpected and yet wonderful morning; Lucas is interesting. His family are just about into everything you can think of, which keeps him busy. He loves art and loves to create. And whenever he speaks of his brothers, it’s apparent that he misses them a lot. And with all of that, I can say that Luke seems lonely, which is truly sad.  Lucas and I have discovered that we have a few things in common. He lives in an apartment near me, but he also has the family house along the edge of a private bay with a dock. He says it’s a large house, but I’m sure it’s some outrageous mansion. They’re all outrageous down there.I’ve caught myself swooning a couple of times like now he is such a gentleman, dutifully walking Benny and me home.I glance up and notice the same man from the cafe earlier. Luke sees my puzzled expression and asks what’s wrong. “I think someone is following us.”Luke qui
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Chapter 9
  I pull into Mum’s driveway; it’s a long wide road lined with pink flowering dogwood trees. It’s beautiful this time of year. Abbey and Quinn did an excellent job on the landscaping. The driveway opens up into a circle; in the middle of the ring is a small garden and bench seating under the shade of a large oak tree. And here she is, Mum’s dream home. It’s enormous, but Abby and I both wanted her to have what she had always imagined. Mum has always been big on dreams. She never settled for tiny. They had to be grand, outlandish even; otherwise, what good was it to have an imagination if you didn’t use it. We would talk about our dreams on the nights she was able to tuck us into bed. When we were children, I wanted to have the biggest ice cream in the world. My sister wasn’t much better; she wanted an everlasting chocolate bar. Of course, our dreams changed and developed into something more tangible as we grew. That’s the best part of dreams. How
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