What Are Common BDSM Slave Rules And Protocols?

Question

In BDSM fiction, what protocols, like using 'Master' or 'Sir,' help establish that authentic dynamic between partners, especially for new readers exploring power exchange?

Emma Healy-dale · Answer

An example of such rules would be insisting on the dominant partner being called by specific titles (e.g. “Sir”/”Master”) and requiring permission to perform everyday actions. The rules can be individualized to fit the relationship of the couple and are very often formalized by means of a written contract that clearly stipulates the partners’ expectations and boundaries. A book that is based on the negotiation of such a D/s relationship in detail and afar from mere descriptions of sexual acts is ‘HIS CURVY OBSESSION : ABDSM CONTRACT’.

Presley · Answer

Slave rules for BDSM slaves? Each person with slave tendencies is unique. Here is an example of waking up to find a text message such as "Voice note by 8am with 1 thing you want and 1 thing you are afraid of." That is an example from my own submissive partner. In this case, her dom uses that one rule to explore emotional subserviation with her on an ongoing basis. That is just one example of a physical slave rule such as wearing a collar during the day, possibly under street clothing, and perhaps also slave rules for entering a room such as by crawling while looking at the floor.

The details of orgasm control, dietary restrictions and even restricted speech (e.g. ‘may I…’ as opposed to ‘can I…’), all create interesting scenarios. But the most important thing is that these Slave rules evolve over time. What once was a simple rule of physical posture, can become so much more – a meditation on surrender, for example, on days when the dominant party is particularly stressed. These rules can be so much fun for a couple, especially when they evolve to remain meaningful. Take for example the Dominant female’s change from ‘no swearing’ to ‘you earn each curse word’.

Chloe · Answer

So here are a few examples of what I mean by BDSM slave protocols. First, off, a simple thing like meal time. A sub I know serves his Dom dinner by setting the table while barefoot, and then he doesn’t eat until the Dom takes his first bite. Then there are the protocols that fall under the category of ‘free use’. For example, this sub mentioned before is allowed to have his body used as the Dom sees fit. Other examples of ‘free use’ are things like being able to touch or rub against the Dom as he sees fit. Another example of a slave protocol is position training. This means holding stress positions until told it is okay to drop them. One protocol listed is that a slave always walks two steps behind his Dom. It is beautiful in its’ details. For example, the reason a sub is grateful for a good punishment is not just that he is grateful for the physical markings on his skin. Rather, he is grateful for the attention he received from his Dom. These protocols, even the strictest of them, were developed through conversation and not through command.

Holden · Answer

Diving into the world of BDSM, specifically looking into a slave’s rules and protocols for their master, can be a rather intimate and personal experience into the rituals of most relationships. Many master/slave relationships are unique in their own way; however, most of the protocols of a slave fall into daily habits that the slave follows under the control of their master. Some examples are asking permission to sit, speak, or even how the slave should sit/stand when in the presence of their master and what type of clothing they wear (or don’t wear). These protocols are not only to show control but to create a relationship of trust between both partners.

Rules can extend to emotional and written communication. Some slaves write daily or weekly journals for their dominant to read, or recite affirmations of love and devotion to their Master. It is interesting to see where discipline ends and devotion begins, but as with physical protocols, there are always limits and boundaries that are non-negotiable, even aftercare. This too is agreed upon by both partners before practice, and is, in many ways, a contract of great intimacy, negotiated by two individuals with full understanding of what is expected of them.

Robin Heinze · Answer

Rules that look like they’re for the Dominant’s benefit but are actually secret care for them? I was initially going to say that “you must eat three meals a day” looks like control but is actually care, but that would be a poor flip into a rule that looks like control but is actually good for the Dominant. Instead, here are a few examples of rules that look like control but actually force the Dominant to be vulnerable: “You must tell me one fear each week,” “You must make sure that I get plenty of rest,” “You must delegate one task to me daily.” The dynamic looks like one-way obedience but is actually mutually supportive and healing. I think this is more common in real-life dynamics than we see in fiction, and it’s really quite beautiful.

Irum · Answer

This post seems to have popped up at an interesting time for me. There's a big difference between using fantasy to inspire your educational resources and actually coming up with 'common rules' for your submissives. Novels such as 'Kushiel's Dart' are full of incredibly detailed and cultural protocols for their submissives - that's world-building, not a list of things to follow. If you're looking for inspiration then maybe look to the cultures described in fiction, but for personal curiosity into the subject of BDSM the 'how' is less important than the 'why' and the 'with whom'. Focus first on safety and communication.

Cyn O'Neill · Answer

An often over-looked nuance is that, for some individuals, the protocol itself isn’t about the act, but the mindset it brings. Thus, the rule of ‘kneeling’ isn’t about the physical posture itself but the subspace it induces. Conversely, the rule of a Dominant giving a command brings the Dominant into a headspace of care, of responsibility to their submissive. This is what you must write for your Dominant and submissive characters. Not just the rule itself but what that rule does to them – internally – while they are following it. Do they feel at peace? Proud? Are they feeling a sense of belonging? Or could they possibly be feeling some degree of anxiety or apprehension? This internal experience of your characters while following the rules you have written for them is where the real story is. The rule is simply a key to unlock that internal landscape of yours.

What Are Common BDSM Slave Rules And Protocols?

7 Answers

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