How Should I Respond When Men Explain Things To Me At Work?

2025-10-27 14:25:15 294

9 Answers

Talia
Talia
2025-10-29 00:37:39
A little trick I use is to assume the person means well until proven otherwise, but I don’t let that assumption steal my voice. I’ll listen long enough to pick the useful bits, and then I reframe what they said into my own terms: 'Thanks, that ties into what I was doing—my idea was X because of Y.' That way I acknowledge without ceding ownership.

If it’s really condescending, I switch to directness: short correction, then question to the group so the floor becomes shared: 'Actually, that’s partly right; has anyone tried combining it with Z?' Framing things so the team hears the correct info neutralizes the patronizing tone and keeps the work moving. It’s a tiny power move that keeps me professional and sane.
Mila
Mila
2025-10-29 02:50:36
I keep a handful of short, slightly cheeky comebacks and a private no-nonsense script. Lines like ‘Cool, I actually have that covered—happy to compare notes after’ or ‘Thanks! I’m already on it; I’ll ping you if I hit a wall’ are my go-tos. They’re brief, polite, and close the door without creating a scene.

When I’m feeling bold I’ll ask one clarifying question that reveals the gap: ‘Which part do you think I missed?’ If they can’t name a specific thing, the spectacle collapses. If the pattern repeats, I make the behavior visible—bring it up in a check-in or pull the person aside. I prefer short interventions because long lectures drain me, and this strategy helps me keep my cool while protecting my time. Feels good to have a few lines ready.
Dylan
Dylan
2025-10-29 18:14:33
At work, I try to keep my cool and treat mansplaining like background noise until it’s worth addressing.

There have been times I let someone finish because I wanted to keep the meeting flowing, and other times I cut in politely with something like, 'I actually already tried that and here's what happened.' I find short, factual pushbacks work best: correct the mistake, add missing context, and steer the conversation back to the task at hand. If it’s persistent, I’ll later pull them aside and say, calmly, that I appreciate their input but I’d like to finish my point next time.

I also use body language: eye contact, a small hand gesture, or repeating the question to show I’m engaged. If it’s systemic—same person or culture—I document examples and bring it up with a manager or HR using concrete incidents. It’s empowering to treat it like a skill you can practice rather than a personal failing, and honestly, getting to the point where I can deflect with humor or firm facts feels great.
Nora
Nora
2025-10-31 02:43:37
I treat these moments like tiny interpersonal puzzles. First I scan for intent: are they mentoring, trying to help, or just assuming incompetence? If it’s mentorship, I absorb the useful bits and thank them. If it’s assumption, I interrupt politely and reframe the moment: ‘I actually completed this already—are you looking for a different outcome?’ That makes them justify the interruption.

I also use a teach-back technique: I summarize my plan in a sentence, then ask for a specific critique. That turns vague lecturing into targeted feedback and often shuts down unsolicited monologues. Documentation is another trick—I keep concise notes or a shared doc that shows ownership; when someone starts explaining, I point them to the doc. If patterns persist, I escalate to a private conversation where I explain how it feels and propose a communication norm. Over time, this calm, structured approach has turned a lot of condescending chatter into practical, collaborative conversations, and I like how it keeps my energy focused on real work.
Oliver
Oliver
2025-10-31 16:11:45
I keep my responses simple and practical. When someone explains something I already know, I either nod and add the missing detail they overlooked, or I say, 'Good point — I actually handled that this way,' and describe the outcome. That quick correction signals I’m competent without creating a scene.

If it's habitual from one coworker, I pick a quiet moment to say, 'I’ve got this, thanks,' or ask a clarifying question that flips the dynamic: 'How would you implement that step exactly?' Often they realize they were overexplaining. I find that setting those small boundaries early saves energy later, and I sleep better knowing I didn’t let someone derail my day.
Oscar
Oscar
2025-10-31 18:35:41
My preferred approach depends on the situation, but I’ve developed a toolbox of responses that blend tact with clarity. First, I assess: is the explanation helpful, redundant, or condescending? That assessment is fast—think five seconds.

If helpful, I say thanks and build on it. If redundant, I summarize quickly: 'Yep, same—here’s what I tried.' If condescending, I pivot: ask a precise question that exposes gaps, or state the facts succinctly, then move on. For recurring cases I use escalation: document, speak privately, and loop in leadership if needed. I also practice micro-assertions—short, calm phrases like 'I’ve got it covered' or 'I actually completed that last week'—so I can deliver them without apology. Over time this reduces interruptions and makes teamwork smoother; I like seeing people shift their tone when I hold my ground.
Yara
Yara
2025-10-31 21:24:03
Lately I treat mansplaining as a conversational bug I can debug rather than a personal attack. When someone over-explains, I sometimes mirror their tone back briefly—like repeating a key point with my own twist—so the room hears my expertise loud and clear. If that doesn’t land, a gentle but firm interruption works: 'Hold up, I handled this differently,' then I outline the result.

I also use humor when the vibe allows: a light, 'Thanks, I actually have a spreadsheet with that,' can deflate the condescension and make the point without escalating. On tougher days I jot down instances and bring them up in a review or one-on-one, focusing on behavior and outcomes instead of feelings. It’s satisfying to reclaim conversational space, and it makes the workplace more respectful over time.
Paige
Paige
2025-10-31 21:45:33
I lean toward short, direct lines that make the dynamic obvious without a drama scene. I’ll say something like, ‘Thanks, I already covered that—here’s what I did,’ and then present my work. If someone keeps interrupting or over-explaining, I’ll ask them to hold that thought until after I finish: ‘Can I finish my point and then you can add?’ That flips the script from being lectured to running the conversation.

Sometimes I call out the behavior in the moment with a smile: ‘I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I’ve got this.’ Other times I use the follow-up email trick—replying-all with my notes and conclusions—so the record shows I handled it. When it’s persistent and not just cluelessness, I bring a trusted teammate into the next meeting so the pattern isn’t just my complaint. It’s worked more often than you’d think, and it’s strangely empowering to own your space.
Alice
Alice
2025-11-01 00:42:37
If a coworker starts explaining something I already handled, my first move is to breathe and listen for two beats. I do that because I want to figure out whether this is genuinely helpful coaching or the kind of patronizing loop that wastes everyone’s time.

If it feels helpful, I say thanks and add what I already tried: ‘I actually implemented X yesterday; here’s what happened.’ That short recap shows I’m engaged and competent without being confrontational. If it leans patronizing, I switch to a question: ‘Do you mean there’s a different way to do X?’ That pushes them to be specific or shut up. I also use light humor sometimes—something like ‘I appreciate the demo! I’ve got screenshots and receipts though’—which defuses tension while making my competence visible.

If the behavior repeats, I privately tell them, ‘When you explain things I already own, it makes me feel undermined,’ and loop in allies or my manager if needed. That direct-but-calm path has kept me sane, and honestly I feel more in control when I handle it this way.
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