Which Signs Show Someone Is Holding Grudges At Work?

2025-08-26 01:51:47 90

3 Answers

Una
Una
2025-08-27 06:00:24
I pick up grudges through patterns more than single moments. When someone repeatedly withholds information, delays approvals, or excludes you from conversations they used to include you in, that’s a sign. Passive-aggressive comments, unnecessary public corrections, and a sudden shift to stonewalling are classic giveaways. I also watch for proxy behavior — if they start asking others to do what they won’t say to your face, it’s a passive way of punishing you.

Another subtle one is resource denial: not sharing documents, omitting you from email threads, or giving you lower-priority tasks that slow your progress. It’s important to track these incidents and keep a calm record. Quick, private check-ins can sometimes clear the air; if not, seek a neutral facilitator or HR involvement. Above all, protect your mental bandwidth and don’t let someone’s grudge rewrite your day — it’s draining, but solvable if caught early.
Bennett
Bennett
2025-08-31 07:31:16
There’s a certain quiet you start to notice when someone is holding a grudge — it’s less dramatic than in 'The Office' but just as telling. Over time I’ve learned to pick up on patterns: the short, clipped replies in chat that used to be friendly; the person who suddenly never volunteers for joint projects they once loved; or the colleague who corrects you in public but can’t be bothered to help in private. Those little cuts add up. I also watch for indirect behaviors like consistently being left out of planning emails, being given the least desirable tasks, or someone suddenly choosing meetings that conveniently overlap with mine.

Body language and energy shifts matter too. I’ve sat across conference tables where eye contact is replaced by averted glances, arms folded, and a freeze when collaboration is suggested. There’s the passive-aggressive route — backhanded compliments, sighs after your ideas are voiced, or bringing up past mistakes as if they still define you. On the technical side, slow or incomplete responses to requests, unexplained delays on shared work, and withholding information are big red flags.

When I see these signs, I try to document specifics (dates, messages, missed handoffs) and approach the person privately with calm curiosity rather than accusation. Sometimes it’s a miscommunication; other times it’s not. If it’s persistent and harming the team, I’ll suggest mediation or bring it up with someone who can help formalize a solution. Mostly I remind myself to protect my energy and keep records — grudges feel personal, but the patterns are practical to address.
Kara
Kara
2025-09-01 20:05:54
I notice it in the little daily rhythms — the lunchroom silence, the way one person stops joining our post-meeting debriefs, the sudden coldness on Slack. A few months back someone I worked with went from friendly GIF exchanges to leaving my messages on read for days. That change in casual connective tissue is a huge sign. Another thing: watch for when praise is publicly given but collaboration privately denied. It’s like they want credit to be seen but don’t want to actually help.

Tone is everything. Micro-aggressions like eye-rolls, short jokes that land as jabs, or “joking” critiques that sting are classic passive-aggressive moves. Also, notice their social network — if they start building small alliances or often vent to the same few people, that’s a sign they’re holding onto resentment. I’ve learned to test the waters gently: ask if something’s up, invite them for a neutral coffee, and if they shut down, step back and protect your work. Keep messages and decisions documented so it’s not he-said-she-said later. If it gets toxic, nudge for a mediated conversation or escalate to someone who can set boundaries, but don’t fall into matching the bad energy — that just makes the workplace into an echo chamber of grudges.
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