100 Funniest Trump Quotes Ever

"If you won't satisfy me, then don't try to stop me from getting pleasure elsewhere," he said icily, turning to leave. "Will you stop seeing other women if I do it?" She asked sheepishly, facepalming in shyness. She couldn't believe she was considering it. "That will depend on how good your performance is," the ice melted from his eyes and all around him. When Abigail finds herself in an arranged marriage to save her father and revenge on her stepmother and sisters, she was never prepared to fall in love with a jerk like President Tony - the multi-time billionaire CEO of the Wrights Empire, and a playboy, who thought that no woman had the five or maybe six qualities he wanted in an ideal wife. Whereas, Abigail was determined to bring him graciously on his knees, till the only woman he'd ever want would be her, and her alone.

At the annual company raffle, I had barely stepped onto the stage when my supervisor, Lily Smith, pressed a crumpled slip of paper into my palm. "A special reward for our top salesperson," she chirped. "Go ahead, open it. Let everyone see." Under the eager gaze of the crowd, I unfolded the note. Written in messy handwriting were the words: Clean the company toilets for three days. The room erupted in laughter. Lily folded her arms, cocked her head, and smirked at me. "Nice, right?" she said. "Everyone knows those sales of yours came from sleeping with old men. Dirty money. To keep things fair, the others get a break, and you pick up a little extra work. You don't have a problem with that, do you?" The laughter surged again, nearly lifting the roof. From the side of the room, my boyfriend, Seth Hoffman, the company's CEO, watched everything unfold. As usual, he said nothing in my defense. They all thought I would fall apart, cry, or make a scene. Instead, I simply gave a calm nod. The very next day, the company was hit with over three hundred property cancellations. Its cash flow collapsed overnight. That was when Lily and Seth rushed to me, demanding I go plead with the buyers. I smiled and said, "No thanks. I wouldn't want to help the company recover and end up with strong numbers again. That might make everyone even more uncomfortable."

“Mummy, Is the President our daddy?” Layla asked curiously, head tilted sideways. Her brothers listened in attentively, obviously wanting a response. I forced out a chuckle as I crouched low before her to cup her soft cheeks. “Honey, the president isn’t your daddy. The President is a very wicked person.” “But, we met him today and he was very polite. He even complimented my hair.” Layla continued earnestly and my heart hammered against my chest violently “Cupcakes, whenever you run into the President; stay away from him because he’s very cruel, okay?” The triplets’ eyes were wide as they hastily nodded their heads, and I pulled them into a long hug. They had no idea the President had once wanted them dead without second thoughts. I’ve sworn to protect them with my life since I had them. No one’s going to take them away from me. Not even their vile father, the President! ~~~ Zendaya Montclair unwillingly got into a contract marriage with the President and suffered a great deal in the marriage– from having to break up with her high school sweetheart because of the marriage, to depression, to public humiliation– to her ex-boyfriend whom she was still in love with, getting married to her supposed best friend. Zendaya was heartbroken. She got drunk that night and spent it in her husband’s bed, which instantly led to an accidental pregnancy. The President wanted her to get rid of the pregnancy because he never saw her as a mother of his future children and only a wife of convenience. That was the last straw. Zendaya left everything behind and fled, promising herself to come back for revenge on every single person who had wronged her. Including the President, she was going to make him pay!

Dad was terrified of being laughed at. Every holiday, he only ever said one thing. “Do not embarrass me.” The relatives were sitting around chatting when I accidentally knocked over a fruit platter on the table. He grabbed me right there and slapped me across the face. At dinner, I reached for a second helping of pot roast, and he kicked my chair out from under me. Later, when it was time to hand out gift cards, Uncle Ray miscounted and came up one short. Without a word, Dad shoved me out into the hallway in nothing but a thin shirt. The cold cut straight through me. I pounded on the door while I cried and apologized. He did not make a sound. He turned to Uncle Ray with an apologetic smile and said, “Sorry about that. I guess I have not taught this kid any manners.” He did not know that his lessons had already conditioned me to flinch at the phrase “laughed at.” Every time I heard it, I froze and felt myself shut down. When I heard him say it again through the closed door, I turned in silence and walked toward the dark bridge at the edge of the neighborhood. I did not know what I planned to do. I only knew I wanted the noise in my head to stop. I reached the railing and stared at the water below. One thought crossed my mind. “Dad, this time, no one will ever laugh at you because of me again.”

It was my daughter's first day of kindergarten, but she was nowhere to be found. My wife's first love texted me. "Guess where your daughter is." This was already the fourth time Donald Shaw had played a cruel joke like this. On the day Claire Wilson and I went official, he told me she got into a car crash. I cried as I ran nearly two miles through the freezing night to reach her. When the truth came out, Donald hid behind Claire and laughed. "Just a prank. I only wanted to see how much you loved her." On the day of our wedding, he took Claire away and disappeared with her for twenty-four hours, leaving me alone to face the guests' mockery and her parents' anger. The next day, he came back holding her arm and said casually, "I just wanted to play a little game." When Tina was born, he came with a fake DNA test and said she was his. Only after I was overwhelmed with rage and ended up in the hospital did he finally reveal the real report. Every single time, my wife protected him like a heartbroken girl defending her first love. Then she would turn around and scold me. "He's just a bit childlike. Don't be so serious." And now, that bastard was using my daughter as the punchline of his latest joke. I was shivering with fury and I called my wife. But Claire only said impatiently, "He just wants to play hide and seek. Stop crying already." Then she hung up. My eyes stayed fixed on the screen. It showed my daughter's location. And right now, she was in the middle of a river.

In the VIP lounge of an underground casino, Maeve, the Falcone family's princess, had been plied with too much hard liquor. Fueled by alcohol, someone goaded her into revealing the most shameless thing she'd ever done to win over the Don. She swirled her glass, pointed at me dealing cards behind the table, and threw her head back with a laugh. "Seven years ago, when Declan was in a coma after a shootout, I took his private phone. And I deleted the distress message that bitch sent him. Every last trace of it. Then I replied in his name: You're a burden. Go die." "You'll never guess what happened next. That idiot stood outside the safe house all night in a downpour, like a stray dog. I almost died laughing…" The room erupted in crude laughter. Only the man enthroned at the head of the table remained silent. The crystal whiskey glass in his hand shattered with a sharp crack. Blood mixed with the amber liquor, trickling over the veins on the back of his hand before dripping onto the carpet. His murderous, bloodshot eyes were locked on me. I calmly dealt the last hole card in front of him and offered a clean, white silk handkerchief. "Don Declan, you should wipe your hand. Blood on the felt is bad luck." After all, some stains never wash out.