Elf Quotes Funny

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

After a fatal crash returning from a school trip to Hokkaido, Nana awakens on an Elven Forest straight out of a fantasy world. Under her new identity Maria, she will be forced to remeber all her past regrets while going down a twisted path. Will she finally be the hero of her own story?

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

To protect the endangered elf race from human nobles, I left the Life Forest and seduced Anders, my childhood friend, now the most powerful and ruthless man in the world. As I expected...he was still obsessed with me. For three days and three nights, we drowned in feverish, desperate pleasure. But when I finally woke—naked, aching, gasping for air—a bucket of sulfuric acid was dumped over my head! I screamed. However, Anders stood by with a cruel smile. "Huh, so the legendary immortal elf can feel pain?" "This is just the beginning, Jovia. Until you tell me where my parents are." He firmly believed that the elves were behind the mysterious disappearance of his parents. From then on, my hell began: Forced to watch him and Lisa be affectionate, forced to cut open my chest and extract my life crystal that sustained my life for her beauty treatment; forced to sing with an overstrained, hoarse voice to lull Lisa to sleep… He hated me to the core. But every time I was on the verge of death, it was he who would roughly pick me up and force me to swallow the top-grade magic potion. His hands trembled with rage, and something he refused to name. Sometimes he was as cold as ice: "Do you think I still love you, so I can't do anything to you? Keep going!" At other times, he would reveal a heart-wrenching tenderness, gently stroking the scars on my neck with his fingertips and whispering in a low, seductive voice: "Be good, tell me where my parents are. " I silently endured his love and hate, feeling the struggle deep in his soul. I silently kept the secret about his parents that could shatter everything. Soon, I wouldn't have to endure all this anymore. Because if an elf leaves the Life Forest for more than three years, their life source will dry up and will eventually turn into nothing. At this point, there were only three days left until my disappearance.

Saelyna and her twin brother, Cyran, are among the last, few elves in Halden that are still healing from the wounds of the rebellion. They both work in the King's Glade, growing the magical kingpeas for His Grace's use. One day, Saelyna steals some of the peas in a bid to sell them and repay her brother for the loss of his sheep. That same evening, a werewolf attacks Cyran while hunting, injuring him severely. He escapes and makes it home, but is dying from the wound. A mysterious stranger stops by to help, and uses the peas to heal him. The king's mages, however, have detected the use of magic and send their scouts to apprehend the culprit. Saelyna and Cyran prepare to flee, but are kidnapped, along with other elves. They are taken to a land called Eldad, and their captors turned out to be the werewolves, who wants them to work on their lands and grow more kingpeas to aid their second attempt at a rebellion. Saelyna is placed under the claws of Caivan, who turns out to be the mysterious stranger who saved Cyran's life. And Cyran is forced to work for Gylen, the werewolf who had attacked him. Saelyna finds out that he's not the helping kind though. Caivan is the pack's beta, and next in line to be the alpha, which requires him to be brutal, sharp at will and self-centered. Over time, though, Saelyna and Caivan grow closer, bonding over their affinity for magic, their plans to escape the world and their love for books.

Prince Ron’s life was saved by a silver haired hero. It was love at first sight but the hero disappeared after the exchange of a few words. The young prince accompanies his sister to a mysterious Kingdom where she’s going to be wedded to the King but on getting there, they’re told that the King wants to call off the wedding. Being the good brother he is, he goes to confront the King but doesn’t expect to find his silver haired hero sitting on the throne! He had fallen in love with his sister’s husband to be! What is Ron going to do?