When I Was Ten

This an autobiography of a man's childhood day, the horror and the dread that he went through, it also comprises of other happenings that made up his childhood day: both sad and happy moments.

It was our tenth anniversary, and I thought Joseph Lynch was finally going to propose to me. However, I accidentally saw the texts on his phone and realized what a joke I had been these past ten years. [It’s our first anniversary. Darling, I want you to spend time with me.] That woman uttered such sweet and intimate words, which I rarely said to Joseph. [I’ll give her some sleeping pills before I see you.] I could not believe Joseph would say such a thing. My fingers trembled as I scrolled down their conversation. [Don’t marry her. Marry me instead!] Then, she sent him a cute and attractive photo of her. She looked like a student. [Let’s see how you behave tonight. I bought you some new lingerie. Be good and put them on. Wait for me next door.] I was wearing some ill-fitting undies while sitting in bed. Right then, I was filled with bitterness. It turned out that Joseph had bought these undies for someone else.

Because the company had a strict no-dating policy, my boyfriend and I kept our relationship a secret for ten years. During those ten years, I stayed by his side through his lowest moments, took care of his parents, and even carried his child. Our tenth anniversary happened to fall on the same day as the company’s team-building event. The man had always hated public attention. Out of nowhere, he suddenly announced that he wanted to propose to the woman he loved. In an instant, everyone looked at me with surprise and envy. They all assumed I was the one. I was so touched that tears filled my eyes, when he held out a ring and got down on one knee before my best friend.

My sister, Anna Hawkins, and I are twins, but I'm slightly heavier than her when we were born. Anna has always been weak and sickly since young, whereas I'm always active and healthy. When Anna was four years old, she was diagnosed with leukemia. Mom blamed me for stealing Anna's nutrients when I got born, so I needed to return the nutrients to her. When I got my blood extracted for the first time, a thick syringe was used on me. I was so scared when I saw it. Mom told me not to be scared. She gave me a magical pen, stating that whatever wish I wrote down with the pen would come true. I wrote, "It won't hurt." When the syringe was plunged into my arm again, Mom bought me a sweet lollipop. The pain never struck me again afterward. When I was five years old, I drew a strawberry cake on the paper while getting 1000cc blood withdrawn from me. That week, Anna could sit up in bed and play on her own. When I turned seven years old, I wrote down my wish that I'd like to go on a vacation. The next day, I was sent into the operating theater for the doctors to collect my hematopoietic cells. For the first time ever, Anna's cheeks became rosy. When I was eight years old, I wrote that I wanted to become the top student of my grade. But a day before my exams, my bone marrow was drawn from me. Anna finally got discharged by the hospital. She got to wear new dresses that I never got to wear. In the year I turn nine years old, my body is heavily depleted. With a trembling hand, I can only write down a line in messy handwriting. "I hope… that I won't become Mom's daughter in my next life."

Tracie Conner has saved my mom's life before, so I've given her ten chances to make mistakes. On the day of our engagement, Tracie fled the venue with her first love, Elton Stafford. I chose to forgive her. On the day my mom gets discharged from the hospital, Tracie and Elton can be seen making out passionately with each other at the main entrance. I merely ignore them. In the year after that, Tracie keeps making all sorts of mistakes because of Elton. But I treat her like the same and never take her behavior to heart. That's why Tracie begins acting out of hand, thinking that I will always love her. The tenth chance is used up when Tracie brings Elton to our marital home on our wedding day. When her best friend, Erica Frey, accidentally stumbles upon them during their deed, Tracie doesn't give a damn at all. "Elton is my first love. What's wrong with us using this bedroom to get closure? Besides, Jonas loves me so much. Even if he sees me cheating on him, he'll forgive me." I chuckle softly as I watch everything unfold from a corner. Tracie has used up her tenth chance. Now, I no longer owe her anything.

After discovering Lydia's existence, I didn't argue with Alex. I simply handed him a divorce agreement. He sat there with his head lowered. After a long moment of hesitation, he tore it in half. "Please give me ten days. In ten days, I'll send Lydia somewhere far away. She'll never appear in our lives again." Without waiting for my answer, he got up and left the house. During those ten days, he took Lydia whitewater rafting, climbed snowy mountains with her, went bungee jumping and skydiving, and shared every thrilling adventure imaginable. He also watched the sunrise with her by the ocean, prayed together in a church, and did all the romantic things that lovers do. On the night of the ninth day, after I had packed all my luggage, I accidentally received a video call from myself ten years in the past. She looked full of life and asked excitedly, "Are you really me from ten years in the future? Then Alex and I must be married by now, right? Do we have kids?" Heartbroken, I walked onto the balcony and pointed my phone's camera toward Alex and Lydia, who were tightly embracing each other below, unable to let go. "This is your answer." She stared at the screen with wide eyes, unable to believe what she was seeing. "That's impossible..." My voice was weary, as though every last bit of strength had been drained from me. "Charlotte... Please. Don't marry him."