Daydream Machine
On the day I moved into my freshman dorm, my mother posted a screenshot of a six-hundred-dollar wire transfer in the family group chat.
[Giselle, you can't go without at school. Mom will always have your back.]
The relatives all praised her as a generous, open-minded mother.
Behind the scenes, though, she told me to click decline on the money, and sent me a chart instead: the Family Attendance Chart.
[Reply to messages within ten seconds. Answer video calls within three. Every violation costs you ten dollars.]
After she'd starved me sick a few times, I never dared miss one of her check-ins again.
Then came today's anatomy class. My hands were submerged in formaldehyde, and I missed six of them.
By the time I'd scrubbed up, she'd already docked my allowance for the month into the negative.
Her voice message was gentle, laced with hurt.
"Giselle, you've disappointed me so much. Your allowance is zeroed out. Think hard about what you've done."
I fainted on the way back to my dorm, my blood sugar crashing from hunger.
When I came to in the campus infirmary, my brother had sent me a message.
[Mom's so generous. She gave me six hundred as a dating fund so I could really enjoy the whole college romance experience. Bet you got some too, huh?]
Staring at my bruised, IV-punctured hand, I suddenly felt like a joke.
Calmly, I went to the nurses' station, signed off on refusing the rest of my treatment, and blocked every one of their contacts.
This kind of love, the kind you had to clock in for just to be handed a scrap of it? I didn't want it anymore.