Birthday Haiku #funny

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

Nate Wolf is a loner and your typical High School bad boy. He is territorial and likes to keep to himself. He leaves people alone as long as they keep their distance from him. His power of intimidation worked on everyone except for one person, Amelia Martinez. The annoying new student who was the bane of his existence. She broke his rule and won't leave him alone no matter how much he tried and eventually they became friends.As their friendship blossomed Nate felt a certain attraction towards Amelia but he was too afraid to express his feelings to her. Then one day, he found out Amelia was hiding a tragic secret underneath her cheerful mask. At that moment, Nate realized Amelia was the only person who could make him happy. Conflicted between his true feelings for her and battling his own personal demons, Nate decided to do anything to save this beautiful, sweet, and somewhat annoying girl who brightened up his life and made him feel whole again.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

Rosalyn Parker has been verbally abused by her mother for years and ignored by her father. Her brother was the only person who treated her with kindness. But, on the night of her 18th birthday when she got rejected by her mate ke'shaun Black the soon to be alpha of the howling moon pack, after he mated with her. That was the last push she needed to leave, but she would soon find out that she was pregnant with the alpha's heir....17 years after leaving her pack and family behind Rosalyn has made a life for herself and her son in Italy after joining pacchetto della luna del sangue (blood Moon pack). She had kept in contact with her brother seeing as he was the only person she considered family...Now she is faced with the horror of going back to the place that broke her after been invited to her brother's wedding.Read to find out what happens when the alpha meets his rejected heir.

When I woke up with a hangover, I found a handsome and naked stranger sleeping beside me. --- I’m Tanya, a surrogate’s daughter, an omega with no wolf and no scent. On my 18th birthday, when I planned to give my virginity to my boyfriend, I found him sleeping with my sister. I went to the bar to get drunk, and accidentally had a one-night stand with the handsome stranger. I thought he was just an ordinary werewolf, but they said he was Marco, the alpha prince and the most powerful Lycan in our kingdom. ‘You slut, you’re pregnant! Fortunately, Rick is kind enough to let you be his mistress and save you from shame.’ my stepmother said, tossing a pregnancy strip on the table. Rick was an old pervert. No she-wolf could keep up with his sexual demand. No she-wolf could survive with him more than 1 year. When I was in despair, Marco came to my rescue. He got down on one knee, took out a ring and said he would marry me. --- I thought Marco married me because he loved me, but later I found that was not the truth…

Emery Holly Halifax is the most beautiful lass across the Northern Packs. Due to her blinding beauty, she was imprisoned by the Beta’s family and forced to become their slave. However, all of that changes in one fateful night—Alpha Kairo’s birthday. Kairo Huxley Ford is feared by the entire country due to his impeccable strength. Paired with his cold demeanor, he was given the title, “The Alpha of Alphas.” On the night of his 18th birthday, he did not expect to meet the mysterious beauty, let alone find out that they are actually mates! Drunken by each other’s pheromones, Kairo and Emery share a lustful night, ignorant to the fact that Alpha Kairo already has a long-term girlfriend. Just as Emery loses hope in their relationship, she shockingly discovers that she is pregnant! Thinking that it would be best for her to share the news with Kairo, she plans an announcement party. But what if, on the night of her announcement, Kairo’s long term girlfriend declares that she is also pregnant? Forced to keep her secret, Emery runs away from Blood Shadow Pack and uncovers the astonishing secrets of her identity. A story filled with powerful enemies, malicious intents, and untold secrets. Will Alpha Kairo find out about his hidden child, or will Emery’s secret stay hidden in the dark?

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

Dustin Fox worked hard for the Wyatt family for more than ten years and was exhausted, both physically and mentally. His body was covered in scars because of it. When he dragged his wounded body back to celebrate Amara’s birthday, he was told that the Wyatt family did not care for “useless crap,” and the Wyatt sisters kicked him out as if he were an unwanted dog. Disappointed, Dustin decided to live for himself. In the end, the Wyatt sisters begged him for his forgiveness.

The children of the Guardians have grown up together. Emlyn Gunnar has known Richard Holstin her entire life. She gives her virginity to him when she is 16, on the night of his Alpha ceremony. For the next year and a half, they date in secret. Emlyn has fallen in love with Richie and dreads the day he finds his mate. But as her 18th birthday draws near, she is feeling more confident that he is her mate. Due to an impromptu moment of unprotected sex a couple of weeks before her birthday, Emlyn finds herself pregnant with Richie's baby. On her birthday, when she realizes he is her mate, she is relieved. She knows Richie wants to have a baby, they just weren't planning on one so soon. At her birthday party, the moment her wolf howls that Richie is her mate, saying it out loud for everyone to hear, Richie also cries mate. Only, he isn't looking at Emlyn. He is looking at a female from another pack. When Richie refuses to reject her, letting her escape the pain of his romance with his “mate”, she will have to be the one to reject him, causing him to feel the pain of the shattered mate bond. Before he can decipher what is going on, Emlyn leaves. She goes to Araphyra, to the Fae King, to find out how she can break her Guardian bond with Richie. If he's not her mate, then she isn't going to be his Guardian. Richie will have to race against time and Emlyn to figure out why they have a mate bond he can't feel. But will he be fast enough to keep her from breaking the Guardian bond, the last bond tying her to him, or will their bonds be shattered forever?

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.