Blame Manga

*** I was complete but useless, when I met him. He was my saviour that time. He enlightened me and gave meaning to my useless life. He became my happiness but at the same time my sadness, that turns out to be my nightmare. I thought that he will be my first and last, but I'm wrong 'coz it's just lust. I gave everything to him, my life, my body and also my heart but he broke it. I was so dumb and became useless again but the worst part is he made me feel so loved but left me afterwards. Nung unang kita niya sa akin para akong isang bimpo na madumi na kanyang ni linisan at inalagaan... But after that, things turns upside down... Nagising na lamang ako ng mag isa at doon ko lang din na realized na panandalian lamang ang lahat. Sana pala hindi na niya ako pinulot pa kung mas malala pala ang huling babagsakan ko. Ang O.A ba ng explanation ko? O.A na kung O.A. But, you can't blame me. Nasaktan ako, nag dusa at nag tiis sa sakit ng iniwan niya ko. Wala siyang tinira pati ata ang kaluluwa ko dala niya. He left me hanging while falling apart. Lahat ng saya noong na kasama ko siya ay na palitan ng isang milyon na sakit nung iwan niya ako. Para akong lobo na bigla na lang binitawan pag katapos pag sawaan. Yes. That's me, the EX- Wife of that monster Zeke Ethan Harmes. I want to know the reasons why he throw me? Why he left me dumbfounded? I need an explanation. I need his acceptable reason. I need him and I love him. Pero mas gusto alamin kung minahal niya ba ako o ginamit niya lang ako para sa yaman?

Being the only daughter of the Calhoun family, a mafia family in Merovia, I am doted on like a princess. This changes when I turn 18, when Mom dies. On the way back from a family meeting, the car blows up, and Mom shields me beneath her. Even as she lies in a pool of blood, her gaze is tender as she says to me, "Don't blame yourself, sweetheart. I love you." Still, after Mom's death, everyone in the family starts blaming me for what happened, including Dad and my older brother, William Calhoun. I go from being the princess of the family to the jinx that everyone hates. Soon after that, Dad brings home a new adopted daughter, Juliet Calhoun. William favors her and detests me. Even my childhood sweetheart, Shawn Kramer, takes a liking to her and ignores me. Dad says his new adopted daughter is way better than his biological one. They all agree to attend my college graduation ceremony. But on the day, they end up taking Juliet onto our family's yacht and holding a cocktail party out on the water to celebrate the official addition of a new family heir. This is the 100th time they ditch me for her. Unable to stop myself from an emotional breakdown, I cry out, "I'm the one who's related to you by blood!" Dad shields Juliet, who backs away from me out of fear. Then, he slaps me on the face. "I wish I'd never had you." "Who wants to have a younger sister like you? I wish you'd died with Mom!" William roars in contempt. This time, I've decided to let it all go. I call Aunt Marissa, Mom's sister. She's the founder and a therapist at MindCare Treatment Center. "Come here. This is your home now." I know that Mom's death was a conspiracy. This isn't just me leaving, but withdrawing myself from the family entirely. I hope that the next time I meet the Calhouns, there won't be tears on my end. Instead, judgment will befall them.

"Whether you like it or not! You need to abort the baby! I don't need your fucking mercy Iris! You don't have to project yourself as a victim!" Nanlilisik ang mga mata ni Lucas habang nakatitig sa akin. Gusto niya akong burahin sa kaniyang mga mata. Isang basura ang tingin niya sa'kin. Isang maruming asawa. "Pagkatapos mong makuha ang lahat? Ito ang gagawin mo? Ipapalaglag mo ang bata? Wala kang puso. Wala kang awa. Hayop." Hinampas ko si Lucas sa dibdib ng aking mga kamay. Galit ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya. Niloko niya ako. Ginawa niya akong tanga. Pinaglaruan niya ang nararamdaman ko. Umiiyak lamang ako habang pinapalo ko siya sa dibdib. Gusto siyang saktan. Gusto ko siyang paluin ng mga kamay ko para magising siya sa katotohanan. Wala akong magawa kundi ang hampasin si Lucas sa dibdib habang umiiyak ako. Ang sakit-sakit ng ginawa niya. Isang bagay ang tingin niya sa'kin, na pagkatapos niyang gamitin at pagsawaan ay itapon na lamang. Walang halaga ang pagkababae ko para sa kaniya. Marahas niyang pinigilan ang mga kamay ko. Nangingilid lamang ang mga luha ko. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko nang mga sandaling ito. I thought he is my happily ever after? But I was wrong! The man I adored was hurted me. He broke my heart after all. "Stop being fool Iris. Nothing can blame but you. Dahil ginusto mo ang nangyari sa atin. Ikaw ang may kagustuhan ng lahat," Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Lucas sa akin dahil sa galit. Pagkamuhi ang nararamdaman ng puso niya para sa akin. Agad akong sinakal ni Lucas sa leeg. Napahawak ako sa braso niya. Nakatingala lamang ako sa kaniya, hindi makahinga. Pumapatak ang mga luha ko. "You need to abort the baby. You will do it to protect my identity Iris."

My husband, Jaxon Murray, was a renowned medical expert and owned a big company. He was participating in a clinical drug trial when someone tampered with his medication. Under the influence, he ended up entangled with an intern—ninety-nine times, right there on the lab table. When he regained clarity, he rushed home, locked himself in the bathroom, and submerged himself in the tub without food or water as he waited for me to return from work. "Lauren," he said, "my medication was switched during the trial. I made a terrible mistake. But I paid her off and had her dismissed. She'll never appear before me again." I wept miserably, clutching my belly that had once again failed to carry life. And in the end, I chose to forgive him. Several months later, he crashed into a guardrail while answering a phone call, causing me to miscarry. The injury left me unable to conceive for life. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his voice choked with remorse. "Darling, I don't deserve you. I'm so sorry… We don't need children. We have each other, isn't that enough?" One day, I went to bring him lunch, only to find him in the next hospital room, cradling and feeding the woman he swore he'd never see again. "She's too weak to eat by herself," he said. "She has early-stage stomach cancer. There's no one else to take care of her… she's all alone." I chose to believe him. Again. Until one day, a pair of twins appeared in our home. Sophie Dixon knelt before me, wearing the postpartum gown he had once lovingly picked out for me, clutching my hand with tears streaming down her face. "It's all my fault. Please don't blame Jaxon. If you say the word, I'll leave with the children immediately." Jaxon grabbed my other hand, desperation thick in his voice. "Lauren, you've always been the kindest person I know. The children are still so young. How could Sophie possibly raise them alone? You wouldn't be that cruel… would you?" I looked down at the hands gripping mine from both sides, and suddenly, I laughed. "Jaxon, let's get a divorce. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness."