Clean Jokes For Adults

This isn't a fairytale. Mirror Mirror on the wall. A fairytale that became her fall. “Over my dead body will I let a man whore father my child. You're in every way incapable, irresponsible and definitely incompetent of becoming a father.” She said with a smile. "Stop acting like a saint, you're not one. You're only pregnant because you're a slut yourself, so what exactly is the difference between you and me?” She stepped up to him with a mocking smile. “Maybe, I'll show him pictures.” Anger flared up inside him. Who the fuck does she think she is? “Show him pictures!?" His fingers grabbed her throat. His eyes held hers. She didn't flinch, instead, a small smile played on her lips. Crazy ass bitch. He isn't used to being challenged. “I don't need to beg you for anything.” He growled. "You have no other option.” She scoffed. "I have a lot of options, Kim.” He continued. "I can take him away from you after birth,” “I want to see you try.” The smile on his face told her otherwise. “What will you do? Take me to court? Fight for custody?” He chuckled. “I can bribe the whole fucking court.” Her heart skipped a beat. No. "You don't get to decide.” He lit a cigarette. "Everything will go my way.” "It'll not!” “Maybe I'll show him your pictures. Or let you visit him once a week, who knows?" He shrugged. “This is my child!" She screamed, tears welled up in her eyes. “So it's either you do as I say, or I'll do as I please." “What do you want?" Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. “Where I come, illegitimate children aren't accepted in the family." “I'm not marrying you!" “I'll never marry you!" She screamed. "You have no choice..”

Serena Judd is a mess when she's taken to the hospital after being harassed by a freak. As she waits in the corridor for her turn to see the doctor, she sees Justin Farrow with his arm around a young woman. He's coaxing her gently. With a raspy voice, Serena looks at Justin, the guy she has been on and off with for years. "Didn’t you get my text?" "It's Candice's birthday, so I can't upset her. Besides, who knows whether you actually ran into a freak?" He frowns, looking disdainful. "Were you violated?" Serena's blood runs cold at his words. She tenders her resignation the following day, but Justin isn't bothered. He says, "She's more obedient than a dog. She'll come back to beg for forgiveness without me even saying anything." This time, however, Serena leaves without hesitation. … Half a year passes. Justin sits in his car and dials a number he's already committed to memory. As soon as the call is connected, he says tensely, "I miss you." All he hears is a snort. "Why are you disturbing me in the middle of the night with a love confession, Mr. Farrow? You should be asleep." Justin snarls, "Where's Rina? Tell her to answer the phone!" Wilson Quade looks at Serena, who's lying beneath him, her eyes gleaming with desire. He smirks devilishly and says, "We're busy, Mr. Farrow."

My wife, Christine Leigh, forced me to the brink of death all for her first love, Henry Carson. To give him a liver transplant, she sent me to the surgery table. I told her I had cancer and that the doctors had advised against the surgery. She just looked at me with an undisguised contempt, "Jason Lowe, stop with your petty tricks. Don't forget, you owe our family your life!" I lowered my head and smiled bitterly. I never left the surgery table.

Dangerous Desires Book One. I, Zia Walker, take you, Xavier Luciano, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will honor you all the days of my life. 'And above all, I vow not to fall for you.' ~~ Trapped with the responsibility to my family, fate forced me to marry Xavier Luciano. He was the perfect solution to my problems, but there was only one condition he asked before promising me his ‘I do.’ “Don’t fall for me,” was his unbreakable rule. I laughed at him that day, thinking how easy it is to follow his stupid rule. I’m in love with my ex-fiance, his younger brother Calvin, so what could possibly go wrong? I agreed without hesitation, seeing him as the ticket out of my life’s predicament. Like a raging wave, the realization of my vow’s weight crashed on me. How can I fulfill my promise, when even in the darkness and danger that surrounds him, I’m hauled like a moth to a flame? How can I fight the slow burn of falling for my husband? The man I swore to cherish and adore, until death do us part, and the one my heart chose to love. ~~ [Mature Content] ~~ Follow me on lnstagram Castiel_Lj Cover by DobolyuV

Seven years ago, Selene Ocean was framed and forced out of the world of elite marine research. She lost her career, her future, and the man she once loved—Ethan North, the proud corporate heir who believed the lie that broke her. Now she returns, not as a victim, but as the brilliant founder of the global marine conservation initiative, Heart of the Deep. Armed with unmatched intuition and a mind sharp enough to read the ocean itself, Selene rebuilds reefs, exposes corruption, and rises to international recognition. When the truth is revealed, Ethan collapses under the weight of his regret—but Selene’s heart is no longer his to claim. With the dangerous and manipulative Veronica Shaw closing in, the storm around Selene only grows stronger. In this story of betrayal, resilience, and redemption, one truth stands firm: The past cannot drown a woman who has learned to rise from the depths.

Run away from his dad’s decision of fixing him into a marriage with the daughter of a business man, that was the option he supposed to choose for he could follow his dreams together with his current girlfriend. Not wanting his father might get sick due to his rebellion, Att. Rak Angelo De Acusta compelled himself to agree with the arrangement as his girlfriend wanted him to do so before he regretted anything. However, he swore that when the right time came he assuredly cut off the tie between him and Felicity Sandoval, and enjoy the rest of his life with his lover. While finding out the real cause of their marriage, he was confident enough within the marriage contract as he knew he will never fall in love with his drop-dead gorgeous fiancée and it seemed more fortunate of him when he finally saw her personally. As what he expected, luckily, she had most of his turn-offs— she is materialistic, talkative, prodigal, reckless, clumsy, she always wear too appealing and sexy clothes, wears heavy make up on her face, obsess with jewelries, enjoying the wealth, and many more. So there is no reason why he would cheat and betray his lover for that Sandoval heiress. He preferred to be a real man and kept his promise that no one would replace his girl. But what if god has another plan for him? Will he go against the playful destiny for the sake of that promise?

Abandoned, betrayed and sold by the people she called family, Alexandra’s life is a nightmare. When she is sold to the man who she believes killed her parents and brother she swears to take revenge. But what happens when a more powerful emotion overshadows her hatred for him? Kieran battles with his dark secret but things look hopeful when the remedy shows up. The problem? The cure is unwilling and secretly plots his death!

Syrhane Ong is a Medical Technology student in her third year. She is clever, outgoing, and driven by a strong desire to succeed. Her family is Chinese, and they are highly traditional when it comes to marriage. Syrhane has never dated anyone because she knows her parents will pick a guy for her in the end. She was frightened of falling in love, of getting hurt, and of hurting the person she cared about. Syrhane Ong's buddy and classmate, Soren Gonzales. They've known each other since their first year of college because they're in the same class. As a result of the pressure and problems they're carrying, they've had to deal with a lot of obstacles. Unlike the other students, Soren's family is not wealthy. He is a scholar and a hardworking student who is striving to maintain a good grade while still supporting his family. That one night, though, changed everything. They began to have strange feelings for each other. The friendship between a male and female who developed feelings for each other. Owen Cujuangco, on the other hand, appeared out of nowhere in Syrhane's life. This individual will cause the two of them to break up. Because Syrhane's father wants Syrhane to marry Owen, she has no choice but to obey his father because that is the only way she can make him proud of her. Soren made a wish for the two of them, hoping that the stars would align in their favor. He wants to love Syrhane, but he knew it would be impossible due to their disparities in their current circumstances. They've been waiting for each other to cross their paths again as time passes, and time will bring them back together.

This is a story about a husband and his ex-wife. It is about their past, present, and future. What will happen when they cross their path again? Will they ever get back together again? It hurts when two people are separated even before giving each other a chance because of a third party and misunderstanding. Still, nothing is more beautiful than when they come back together and move forward in life by leaving their past behind. It is okay to not forget about the past, but it is important to forgive and give a second chance to each other and life. It is an inevitable love story of two individuals who fall in love and get past their divorce, and are with each other again.

Despite my parents' objections, I stay by Julian Grant's side for ten years. He goes from having nothing to building his own empire. The moment it's time to fulfill our ten-year promise, I proudly tell my parents I'm going to marry him. But then, he gives the vice president position meant for me to another woman. I confront him only to overhear a woman's hesitant voice behind the door. "Mr. Grant... you gave me the VP role, but what about Ms. Jones? Aren't you two getting married?" Julian's tone is cold and sharp, though his face is calm and unaffected. "Noelle's been with me for ten years. Who else would even want her? Relax—she won't dare make a scene." The words hit me like a slap to the face. Without another word, I turn and make a call to my arranged marriage contact. "Are you free?" I ask. "Let's get married."