Clever No Soliciting Sign Funny

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

I'm discovered by a man who's gone fishing early in the morning. I'm caught on his hook, but he can't pull me up, no matter how hard he tugs. He comes closer to see me floating in the water and is terrified. He runs off to call the police, leaving his fishing pole behind. When the police get me out of the water, I'm hanging on by a thread. Even the doctors who participate in my rescue think they can't save me. When they call my husband and tell him to come sign some forms, he tells me he doesn't have time for that. He's busy making a hot drink for his true love, who has a cold. Later, he bawls his eyes out and begs me to spare him another glance.

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

READERS ARE ADVISED TO READ “BILLIONAIRE’S DANGEROUS OBSESSION” FIRST TO GET A BETTER HANG OF THE STORY. “From this day onwards, I free you from the bindings of the contract. I never want to see you again, Mira. I don’t even want to see your face. Now, get out of here.” A painful pang slices through my chest as Mason’s dark, angry eyes rove over me. Tears run in torrents down my reddened cheeks. “Mason, p-please. This is a misunderstanding. I’m innocent. Please don’t do this…” “Security! Get this woman out of here.” He thunders, his voice hard and remorseless. Members of his security detail flood the room and I began to panic. “Mason, listen to me!” I sob. “You cannot send me away now. Not when I’m carrying your child…” *** Mira Anderson, an average girl from a broke, Las Vegas family meets New York’s most ruthless billionaire on her quest to seek vengeance on the Italian Mafia who constantly extort money from her parents. She is kidnapped, sexually tortured by members of the mafia, and left for dead. When she escapes, she vows to always steal from the wealthy to enrich the poor. Unfortunately, she steals from the wrong person – Mason Lachlan, New York’s most dangerous billionaire. Mira is forced to sign a contract that binds her to Mason as his mistress for two years or risk spending the rest of her life in jail. Six months later, pregnant and trapped with Mason Lachlan, Mira fights mysterious enemies and wild storms to make sure they stay together. Mason vows to keep her by his side forever, even if it means forcing her into a contract marriage. But powers are constantly working against them…and they might never succeed.

Looking at the divorce papers my lips curled up into a mocking smile. ‘How big fool I am? How can I think that he will give a chance to this marriage? How can I forget that I was nothing more a tool in his eyes to vent his anger until his beloved Tara is back. Since, she was back, how can he let me stay there?’ “After you will sign these papers, you will receive 100 million dollars as alimony.” the lawyer added. Because of his words, I came back to my senses took the pen from him, and signed the name. After taking the papers from my hand, the lawyer gave me the bank card, turned around, and was about to leave when he paused at the door. He then turned around and added, “Mr. Carter said that he hoped that you won’t pester him, or you have to bear the consequences.” The lawyer's words were like a knife stabbing in my heart, but I still nodded. Anyway, I also don’t plan to have anything to do with him anymore. I just want to live a good life with my children. After the lawyer left, the ward fell into silence. I placed my hand on my belly and said to my children, “Baby, I am sorry, Mommy can’t give you a complete family! But I promise you, I will do my best to give the love of both mother and father.” ‘As for giving one of my child, I will never do that. They are my babies and my alone. I and I will give birth to all of them and raise them no matter what…’ Four Years Later... Anya came back to the country with her three kids, to inherit the company left by his grandfather...

"Sign it." He barked, before motioning Andrew, his butler over and handing him the briefcase. "What is it?" I murmured, retracting the paperwork from the envelope. The words "Divorce Agreement" were written vividly in block letters on the heading. My legs weakened as a mix of trepidation, befuddlement, and shock engulfed me. Fernando wanted a divorce which meant that I was now officially doomed. + Helen Crawford is the demure and petite wife of Fernando Alvarez. All that changes one day, when Fernando comes home from work one day, flings a brown envelope at her, and asks for a divorce, simply because his one true love is now back in town. Betrayed, she signs it without a squeak and walks out of his life forever, unknowingly pregnant. However, karma soon strikes and Fernando realizes that he made a grave mistake of divorcing Helen for his ex-girlfriend. But by then, many years have passed and Helen has already told their son that he is dead. Will it be too late for Fernando to rectify his errors, and get his family back?

She was a receptionist in one of her friend's luxurious hotels when he walked there to destroy the complete hotel. She remembers him as she knows him well since high school but he doesn't remember her because she is no more the fatty girl which she was back in her high school time. To save her friend's hotel she stood before him and he abduct her from the place. He manipulates her to become his girlfriend. Few months after he forced her into contract marriage. Several exposures exposed in her life and love blooms between them.

"Sign this contract. Be my Luna for a year. I'll help you get back at your ex and his mistress." he smiled, looking at me in a way that made my bottom wet. "I know you want them to suffer." --Evelyn tried to be the perfect Luna, managing the pack and raising her husband Tristan's bastard child as her own. Yet all her efforts were betrayed when Tristan brought the bastard child's birth mom back and asked to divorce Evelyn. Evelyn even learnt the dark truth that her own child from 3 years ago didn't die in a miscarriage as she thought--it was brutally killed by her husband and mistress. At this lowest point of her life, Evelyn received a proposal from Alpha Ahser, who happened to be the one person her ex-husband wanted to impress. Be his contract Luna, he would help her win. Now with the strongest ally, Evelyn came back for her revenge. Soon she would discover that the partnership between her and Asher had turned into something else...Love.

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

Aurora Harverwood thought her married life was already perfect. Especially with her husband, Alex Wildblood, known for being incredibly affectionate and attentive. However, everything turned out to be different from what Aurora had imagined. In a deliberate sign, she caught her husband in an intimate act with Amanda Nicole, who happened to be her cousin. Aurora was furious. She vowed to seek revenge that would not be forgotten.