Comical Weapon Patreon Novels & Stories

In the neon-drenched shadows of Nairobi, Alessia wakes from a fatal gunshot with a chilling clarity: she is not who she thinks she is. While her lover, Mafia heir Lorenzo, mourns the woman she was, Alessia’s body begins to "remember" lethal skills, ancient languages, and violent deaths she never lived. She is Subject A, a high-velocity asset in Project Déjà Vu, a global conspiracy by the shadowy organization VANTA. As the "Blood Memory" fractures her reality, Alessia discovers a horrifying cycle: she and Lorenzo have been paired across centuries, engineered to fall in love only to be reset through state-sponsored tragedies. Their "Affinity" isn't fate—it’s a biological battery used to harvest emotional resonance and destabilize world power structures. Every time they grow too powerful, the system triggers a "Liquidation," wiping their minds to begin the loop anew. But this time, the glitch is permanent. Alessia evolves into the Perfect Weapon, accessing the tactical archives of her past iterations. To break the cycle, she makes the ultimate sacrifice: she severs her connection to Lorenzo, choosing cold, calculated vengeance over manufactured love. While Lorenzo unleashes his own buried rage to protect her, Alessia goes rogue, infiltrating VANTA’s core to delete the "Failure Cycle." As she nears the Creator, Silas, she faces a devastating truth: they weren't just assassins, but prototypes for a global replacement of the elite. To win her freedom, Alessia must decide if she can ever truly love the man who has been her executioner for three hundred years. The loop is breaking, the system is crashing, and the blood is finally speaking. "The memory is in the marrow. The revenge is in the soul.”

(18+ Warning: This novel contains explicit scenes of violence, aristocratic cruelty, sexual content, and themes of blood magic, non-consensual binding, and character trauma.) Sofia Quispe was never meant to be a simple noble. As the supposed pureblood heir to the powerful Abribi Covenant, her fate was sealed in a political Blood Union to three powerful vampire princes: the dominant Zilo Graves, the ruthless Klaus Blackwell, and the ambitious Zack Rivera. This union was meant to secure the throne and unite the kingdom. But during the Ceremony of Binding, the blood doesn't lie. When Sofia fails to Awaken her vampiric gifts, a desperate bloodline test reveals the shattering truth: she is not a pureblood noble, but a disgraced Dhampir—half-human, half-vampire—the product of her deceased mother’s forbidden betrayal. In the rigid aristocracy of the vampire world, Dhampirs are considered abominations, a stain on bloodline purity. Renounced by her enraged father, Lord Quispe, and brutally rejected by the Princes who fear political ruin, Sofia is cast out of the Covenant citadel and into the perilous human world, a day-walker with no power, plagued by the maddening Blood Hunger caused by the trio’s incomplete Blood Mark. Rock bottom forces her into the shadows of the city, where she works at a supernatural bar, fighting to control the erratic power surges of her cursed bond. When a violent attack by feral vampires leaves her vulnerable, she is saved by Phuwin Montague, a powerful, enigmatic Vampire Sovereign from a rival faction. Phuwin sees not a flaw, but a unique political weapon—a Dhampir marked by a Prince. Drawn into his dangerous orbit, Sofia trains with an ex-military vampire hunter, learning to master her hybrid nature and the dark potential of her blood. But the psychic echoes of the incomplete bond still haunt her, pulling her

"All three of us are going to fuck you tonight, omega. Over and over until you're dripping with our cum and sobbing our names. And you're going to take every inch like the good little wife you are." Emerald Ukilah—the unwanted daughter, the pack outcast, the girl no one would miss—is now the wife of the three most dangerous Alphas alive. The Ravencourt triplets don't just want her body. They want her complete surrender. Her screams. Her tears. Every shuddering orgasm they can force from her trembling body. Magnus breaks her with brutal dominance, fucking her until she can't remember her own name. Daemon edges her for hours, teaching her that pleasure is a weapon and he's a master. Cassian pins her down and makes her keep her eyes open while he destroys her—but sometimes, in those brown eyes, she sees something that looks like worship. She was supposed to be a sacrifice. A lamb to the slaughter. But these wolves don't want to kill her. They want to keep her. Own her. Ruin her so completely that she'll never want another touch. ***** Why settle for one when you can have them all? Why Choose is a collection of steamy short stories where one woman never has to make the impossible choice. Four men? Three best friends? Two rivals who would burn the world just to share her? Each story explores a different fantasy, a different heat level, and the same answer every time—she doesn’t choose.Because when it comes to passion, love, and lust… why choose?

The first time I lived, my sister and I found two dragon eggs. The black one pulsed with raw, untamed power. My sister, Isabella, claimed it without a second thought. The white one was left for me. A cracked, forgotten thing. It held only a whisper of magic. I took it out of pity. Within a year, the black dragon shattered his shell and emerged a man so beautiful it was a curse. He became Isabella's devoted weapon, his power forging her path to godhood. Meanwhile, the white egg fed on me. I poured everything I had into my white egg. My magic, my money, my soul. For ten long years, it gave me nothing. Everyone said to abandon it. But I couldn’t. I was an orphan, ignored by my sister. I just wanted a companion. But as the dark plague swept the lands, the egg I'd nurtured for a decade hatched overnight—while I was dying, he soared past me to save Isabella. He could have hatched years ago. Could have been human all along. But he chose Isabella. He mistook her for his savior. Then I was back to the day it all began. This time, Isabella lunged for the white egg first, afraid I'd take it. I slung my worn satchel of herbs over my shoulder. Turned my back on them both. "You can have them both," I said calmly. "I choose myself." This life, I swore I would have nothing to do with Adrian. But now, he's the one filled with regret, willing to give his own life just to have me look at him one more time.

How do you fall in love with an ex-convict? A murderer? How do you fall-in-love with your future husband’s father? How do you allow him, take your virginity on the walls of a prison cell? And how you screamed and moaned as he fucked you senselessly against the prison wall? How can you forgive the man that placed you behind bars? How can you forgive the man who rejected you and ruined your entire life? Amanda Weller is getting married to the man of her dreams. That was the plan, Marcus law was the man she loved, and dated for seven years. He was a successful attorney and her father approved of him. His parents had died a long time ago, by a robbery gone wrong .she knew absolutely nothing about his family. So imagine her surprise: when she gets a letter from her Soon to be father-in law, “Cyrus law”. A man that was supposed to be dead. She is big on family and her curiosity got the best of her. It was simple: meet your father-in law behind your fiancé’s back and surprise him at the wedding. A pleasure filled night of mind blowing sex in a prison cell wasn’t part of the family reunion. Neither was falling in love and being locked in prison by the man you gave everything. Cyrus law wasn’t the type to put his pants down and fuck a girl young enough to be his daughter,against a prison wall.She was supposed to be nothing but a weapon against his son. He was out for one thing only, revenge on his conniving son. But it may just have cost him the woman he loves.

"How do you want me to eat your corpse? Boiled and properly spiced, or grilled, just like barbecue?" Rex asked coldly, his face a mask of cruelty as he approached Arianna, the fearless little bitch who came to steal drugs from him. ***** Arianna Fraser escaped to Las Vegas after killing her step father accidentally, to escape prison time. She began to work at starlight, the biggest hotel resort in Las Vegas boulevard, which belongs to the devil, Rex Santorini, the dreaded crime lord of Las Vegas. Her grandma soon fell sick and she had no money to save her only surviving relative. So she took the most stupid decision. STEAL MEAT FROM THE DEVIL'S MOUTH! She began to steal from Rex till her luck ran out. Few minutes before her execution, he thought of a better use for her. A sex slave! Arianna joined an assassin group in her desperation to get easy money. Her first mission soon arrived, KILL REX SANTORINI. Filled with hesitation as he has begun to treat her well, Arianna kept declining till she found out that Rex was the culprit that killed her mother. Blinded by rage, she became a deranged weapon which Rex's enemy can use against him, worse she had become his biggest weakness. She gets caught in a web of lies and deceit, travelling deeper into the darkness while loosing everything dear to her. When the result of her folly rebounded on her, she had been trapped. However, will Rex find it in himself to save her?. After she had mercilessly tried to kill him on several occasion.

Emily’s world wasn’t just broken. It was strategically dismantled. Three years of love. One devastating betrayal. A single moment that would leave a scar forever. The day Emily caught her boyfriend Jaden and her best friend Mika tangled in bed, something inside her died. 2 years later, she has worked to be everything Jaden said she could never be— a star actress, loved by many. As Emily climbs the treacherous ladder of the entertainment industry, her betrayers return with a sinister plan. Mika, consumed by jealousy, doesn’t just want to compete – she wants to annihilate. Even if it meant becoming an actress herself. And Jaden? He’s the perfect weapon in her arsenal. But in the entertainment industry, Power surpasses power. And there he was, Noah. Noah. The king of the entertainment industry. Feared by many and had the lives of many wrapped around his fingers. He met Emily 2 years ago for the first time, snot mixing with tears, her broken glasses sliding down her face- she kept screaming at him “You can’t die! Not today!”. She saved him, and he owes his life to her. But now, she doesn’t remember him. Also she has changed. She almost looked nothing like the ugly woman he saw that night— Mascara streaking down her blotchy cheeks, glasses bent and crooked, hair disheveled, looking utterly destroyed, a walking catastrophe of raw, ugly pain, far from what he was seeing now— who is this woman? This isn’t a love story. This is a war. And Emily? She’s the prey. Would Noah be her Prince Charming that saves her?

Amelia has spent her life surviving her stepmother’s cruelty, each day carved out of fear, each breath earned through obedience. When the woman finally grows tired of her, she sells Amelia off like a piece of debt-stained property to a man whispered about in every corner of the kingdom. A man who kills without hesitation. A man whose name alone can silence a room. Heartbroken but unwilling to die under another tyrant, Amelia makes one desperate attempt for freedom. She flees into the choking darkness of the forest, hunted like prey by the very man she was forced to marry. But before he can claim her… something inside her snaps. Under the cold, merciless moon, Amelia’s bones shatter, her skin tears, and the girl who never fought back transforms into a creature she didn’t believe existed. A werewolf, born of a lineage her stepmother buried in lies and blood. And worse still, the mate fate binds her to is the same ruthless predator she tried to escape. Now Amelia must live in a world where power is defined by the strength of her bite and the legacy she never knew she possessed. Her mate despises her with a fire that could burn kingdoms, and the shadows of his past drip with secrets, violence, and betrayal. If she can’t unravel the truth behind his hatred and the truth of her own origins, she will be consumed by the same darkness that forged him. But Amelia is no longer the girl who kneels. Not anymore. And when she discovers the monsters tucked inside her mate’s memories, she must decide: Will she be the weapon that breaks him…? or the woman who survives him?

In a city where power is everything, loyalty can be bought—and lives can be erased without a trace. Silvano Neri doesn’t question orders. He carries them out with precision, silence, and absolute control. Known only as Silenzio, he is the weapon no one sees coming. No one knows who he is. No one ever hears him coming. But Silvano Neri is closer than anyone realizes. Cold. Untouchable. Watching the city from above like it belongs to him, Silvano moves through a world of luxury and shadows with terrifying precision. His secrets are buried deep. Until he is given a mission unlike any before: Eliminate Mirella Salviati—the daughter of one of the most powerful men in the city. It should have been simple. But Mirella is nothing like he expected. She is sharp where others are blind. Calm where others break. And dangerously easy to watch… to understand… to want. What begins as a mission turns into an obsession he never planned for—and a weakness he cannot afford. Because Mirella isn’t just his target. She is the daughter of the man responsible for destroying his family. Now Silvano stands at the edge of a choice that will define everything: Finish what he started… or protect the one person who could unravel him completely. As buried truths begin to surface, Silvano uncovers something far more dangerous than his assignment—a web of lies within the very organization that created him. Betrayal runs deeper than he imagined, and the line between hunter and pawn begins to blur. In a world where silence is survival, love is a risk he was never meant to take. But when love and revenge collide… something will have to break. And this time— it won’t be quiet.

He was a detective hunting a ghost. Until the ghost decided to hunt him back. Detective Alex Marchetti has spent months building a case against Vincenzo, a Mafia boss who exists only in whispers. When Vincenzo finally walks into his interrogation room, Alex thinks he's won. He's wrong. Vincenzo reveals he's been watching Alex for even longer—knows his routines, his apartment, his dead partner. The interrogation wasn't an arrest. It was an invitation. As Alex's life unravels—his captain exposed as corrupt, his partner murdered and framed as suicide, his career destroyed—he's left with nowhere to go. So he walks into Vincenzo's estate and surrenders. What follows is a volatile dance of obsession and desire. Vincenzo is possessive, tender, cruel by turns. Alex hates how his body responds. But when a rival family kidnaps him, Vincenzo unleashes hell to get him back. In the blood-soaked aftermath, they collide—desperate, violent, electric. Then the truth emerges: Alex's father, a cop, was killed by Vincenzo's father, the Don. And Vincenzo knew. Betrayal. Lies. A legacy of blood. As Vincenzo's sister betrays the family and his long-lost brother returns to claim the empire, Alex faces an impossible choice: walk away from the man who dismantled his life… or stand beside him as they burn it all down. "You're here because I wanted you to be." A slow-burn MM Mafia/Cop romance packed with twists, toxicity, and raw passion. The hunter becomes the hunted. The prisoner becomes the king. And love becomes the most dangerous weapon of all.