Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

"Whose illegitimate child are you pregnant with?" My parents demand to know, looking crazed. They want to know whose child I'm carrying. I look at them and laugh. "One of the kidnappers, of course." My parents and brother are stunned, and they turn ashen. I continue softly, "Don't you guys remember? The kidnappers asked for a ransom, but you guys were only willing to save your other daughter. You wanted to teach me a lesson." Mom collapses on the couch. "That can't be. We wanted to teach you a lesson so you would stop bullying Eden. I didn't… We didn't…" I crouch before her. "You guys never expected the kidnappers to violate me, right?" I don't wait for an answer. "Do you think a few kidnappers would have morals and ethics?" She parts her lips to speak, but I don't give her the chance. "I was covered in injuries when I got home. Why didn't any of you ask me about them? "You guys took Eden away without bothering to save me. You didn't return for a day, for two days, for a month… Did you think the kidnappers would think that they could still receive the ransom?" They should be happy now—I'm about to die.

When I became pregnant, my gravely ill mother mentioned that her final wish was to witness my wedding. My boyfriend, William Jones, finally agrees to marry me after I have been asking for 99 days. Yet, on the wedding day, he never shows up, even though I was waiting in my gown at the hotel the whole day. The truth only emerges when someone found his marriage certificate that he had posted a month earlier on social media. He married his childhood sweetheart, Caroline Ashton, during that time. When my mother learns this, the shock triggers a fatal attack. She passes away despite the doctors' efforts. William sends me a message. "I'm sorry, honey. Caroline twisted her ankle, so I had to take care of her. We'll have our wedding next month, okay? I promise I'll make it up to you this time." … A month later, William prepares a lavish, grand wedding just for me. Dressed in a custom-tailored suit, he waits at the hotel. Yet, all he receives is the report from my abortion procedure. There is only one sentence on the back—"William, this is goodbye forever."

I'm eight months pregnant, and I suddenly go into early labor. But my husband, Aldrich Lohan, locks me up in the basement and gives me a tocolytic injection to stop my labor instead. He does all these just to ensure that his sister-in-law's baby is born before mine, so that my child won't fight for the inheritance rights. "Anton saved my life," Aldrich says, referring to his elder brother. "But now, he's gone, succeeded only by the baby in Chrissy's womb. I must let her baby inherit all the rights. Chrissy lost everything, but you're still here, enjoying everything I'm giving you like you're entitled to them. So what if you compromise a little bit for her sake?" The contractions in my lower body are hurting more than I can bear. I'm on the verge of passing out as I grab on to the hem of his pants and beg, "I swear that I won't let my child claim his inheritance rights! Please, just send me to the hospital. My child will die otherwise!" However, Aldrich just kicks me aside. "Chrissy has been pregnant for nine months. How can you be giving birth in just eight months? How would I know whether or not you're just inducing birth on purpose? I don't care. I won't let anyone steal the inheritance rights from Chrissy's baby, even if there's just a minuscule percentage of it happening." In the end, Chrissy successfully gives birth to her child, and it's only after that that Aldrich finally remembers me in the basement. "Bring Kelsey to the hospital and make them bring out the best medical equipment to ensure the safe birth of my child." His personal assistant, Edgar Salome, shivers as he says, "But Mr. Lohan… Mrs. Lohan and her child have both died…"

Mila's life changed in just one night. Coping with the betrayal of her ex-boyfriend on the day of her Dad's 50th birthday party. She ends up in deep regret as she has a one-nightstand with her Dad's business rival, Zaden Blackwell. She decides to put that night behind her, but weeks later she discovers she’s pregnant for him. What will be her fate after this new discovery?

I know it’s wrong to want my dad’s best friend, a man who was old enough to be my dad, but what could I possibly do when I see him in my dream and imagination each time I close my eyes? What could I do when this desire keeps driving me nuts, when I keep getting wet down there just at the sight of him? I tasted the forbidden fruit, and I liked it. I liked every inch of it, and now I can’t bring myself to stop wanting more…

Delaney Thorne does not expect her life to be turned upside down in just one night, by two alpha kings—Kai and Ronan, her father's closest friends. They take her forcefully from her home under the guise of protection and thrust her into a world of power, secrets, betrayal, tension, hatred, love and lust. She finds herself under their mercy, and at the centre of the danger that lurks in and around the kingdom. Torn between rage, revenge, desire and survival, Delaney must choose either to fight the pull of the two kings who are almost her father's age and lose their protection, or surrender her freedom to them. Two Twin Alpha Kings, one girl, forbidden relationship with reckless age gap and they never learned how to share.

Vanessa Archibald is heartbroken and ready for a fresh start. Escaping her cheating ex and small town, she gets admission to Yale and moves in with her dad's charming best friend, Antonio who is also a professor at Yale. Older, sophisticated, and devastatingly handsome, Antonio is everything Vanessa's ex wasn't. But their age difference and Antonio's upcoming wedding make their undeniable attraction forbidden.But what starts as a convenient arrangement explodes into a forbidden passion they can't deny.One drunken night ignites a spark they can't ignore, leading to a passionate encounter that binds them in a thrilling, yet terrifying, secret. All is well up until an anonymous emailer threatens to expose Vanessa’s secret, sending shivers down Vanessa's spine. Will she succumb to the blackmail, or will she risk everything for a taste of the forbidden?

“Are you going to be a good little kitten and accept your punishment from daddy?” He asked, growling in my ear. I whimpered as my leg buckled under me, my eyes full of lust, my panties soaked and my whole body on fire as I replied, “yes Daddy.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Rene becomes deeply obsessed with someone she shouldn't love, her Dad's best friend, Ivor Walker. What would happen when she realized everything is not as simple as she thought it was? How long can they keep their relationship hidden from their family? What would happen when a past comes haunting them?

Isabella Romano's idyllic existence falls apart in just one week. Her engagement and career have been ruined, and the only place she can go is to her father's construction business. Finding herself in front of Dominic Castellano, her dad's business partner, best friend, and the man she's desired since she was eighteen, is the last thing she expects. For years, Dom has avoided contact with Vincent's daughter. She is everything he shouldn't want, off-limits, and prohibited. His good intentions, however, are immediately dashed when she arrives, broken and desperate. A single touch triggers another. An uncontrollable fire is started by a single kiss. With a hunger that had been growing for years, he forced her against the office wall and framed her face with his rough hands before snatching her mouth. "This is insane," he growled against her lips while his fingers entangled themselves in her hair. "Then stop," she said softly. No, he couldn't. He couldn't, God forbid him. As he raised her, plans strewn across the floor, her legs encircled his waist. It was everything he had denied himself: the taste of her, the sensation of her gentle curves on his. She gasped as his lips touched the tender region on her neck. "Dom," she said. "Please—" “Dom? "You in there?" The door opened and Vincent's voice roared in. Both of them froze

Hayley Davis has everything she could ever want in life- money, a loving father and an established law career. But there is one thing she wants that she knows she can never have- Jake Ryker, her father's best friend. Since the first day she met him, she has wanted him and she knows he wants her too. It is a filthy desire, one she has no business having but Hayley has never been one to take no for an answer and she will get Jake but at what cost?