Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

"Five thousand dollars. I will pay you to have sex with me," I said to the handsome stranger. “Ten thousand dollars. I will pay you ten… No, fifteen,” At that moment, I just wanted to get laid. It was the only thing I could think of. “If you are still not fine with it... I will increase the money,” I whispered against his lips… ***** I caught my boyfriend of several years cheating on me with my own cousin. It already sounded bad, but ending up in bed with a hot stranger who turned out to be my ex-boyfriend's dad was even worse. Still, I'm not a woman who wallows in self-pity. I was going to use this to my advantage. I was planning to find my way into the handsome billionaire's life in order to get revenge on his cheating son, but the man beat me at my own game. Unexpectedly, he approached me first, asking me to marry him, upon our second meeting! The look in his eyes, his voice, everything about him screamed suspicious, but did his motivations matter? For now, not really. I was determined to make my ex-boyfriend pay for wasting my time all these years. I was going to make my cousin crawl at my feet and beg for my forgiveness...

Isabela Ledesma never imagined her life would take such a scandalous turn. Bagong sugat sa puso, matapos iwan ng kanyang first love na si Marco Villamor, napilitan siyang sumama sa isang blind date— at sa gulat niya, nauwi ito sa kasal kay Rafael Santillan, ang ama ng kanyang matalik na kaibigang si Rita. Isang May-December marriage na plano lang sana para maibalik ang kanyang pride at matiyak ang kanyang kinabukasan, ay biglang naging laro ng tukso at pagnanasa. Si Rafael Santillan, isang kaakit-akit at karismatikong bilyonaryo, ay iba sa kanyang inaasahan. Sa likod ng kanyang matipuno at sophisticated na anyo, nakatago ang isang lalaking hindi takot sundan ang kanyang lihim na nagpapalito at nagpapakaba kay Isabela sa bawat sandali. Mula sa awkward na simula hanggang sa mga lihim na sulyap at tensyon sa kasal, bawat eksena ay nagtutulak kay Isabela na balansehin ang kanyang pride, puso, at kaligtasan sa mundo ng mayayamang elitista. Magpapatuloy ba silang manatiling nasa ilalim lang ng kontrata, o haharapin nila ang apoy ng pagnanasa at lihim na damdamin na magbabago sa kanilang buhay magpakailanman?

After my husband cheats, my relatives advise me to be tolerant and forgiving. Why? Because my husband's mistress is pregnant, and I'm infertile. Even his parents hurry to our house in the middle of the night to say, "Don't worry—we won't let that woman step foot in this house. Once she gives birth, the child will be yours." Is that so? I sneer as I look at a medical report. Perhaps the child will have something to do with me, but it definitely won't have anything to do with my husband.

The daughter of my father's first love suffered from heatstroke because she was left in the car, so he tied me up in a fit of anger and locked me in the car boot. He looked at me with utter disgust and said, "I don't have a vicious daughter like you. Stay here and reflect on yourself." I begged him, apologized to him, and pleaded for him to let me out, but all I got in return was his ruthless order. "Unless she dies, no one is allowed to let her out." The car was parked in the garage. No one could hear me no matter how much I screamed for help. Seven days later, he finally remembered me and decided to let me out. However, he had no idea that I had already died in that trunk and could never wake up again.

Three years ago, Camilla had a one-night stand that left her with more than just memories—a son, Carlos, whose father vanished into the night. Now, her carefully constructed life is thrown into chaos when her mother, Elena, introduces her new fiancé, Emilio—the same man Camilla thought she’d never see again. Worse, he has no idea Carlos is his son. Torn between her love for her mother and the undeniable connection she still feels for Emilio, Camilla is pushed into a dilemma. Emilio, caught between his loyalty to Elena and his desire to be with Camilla and Carlos, must make a life-altering decision. As their dark past seems to threaten their future, Camilla must decide—can she risk everything for love, or will the weight of their shared secrets tear them apart forever? Will Camilla and Emilio find their way back to each other, or will they let the tempest rocking their lives hinder them?

Umalis si Elizabeth sa marangyang buhay sa Maynila upang takasan ang isang sapilitang kasunduan—ang pag-date kay Greg, anak ng pinakamayamang negosyante sa lungsod. Sa pagtakbo palayo, hindi inaasahang masisira ang kanyang kotse sa gitna ng isang liblib na lugar. Isang misteryosong lalaki ang dumaan at tumulong sa kanya. Tall, dark, and handsome—isang "prince charming" sa tunay na buhay. Pero hindi niya nakuha ang pangalan nito. Pagdating sa probinsya, ibinahagi niya ang kwento sa kanyang kaibigang si Monique, na agad nilang tinawag ang lalaki bilang "Prince Charming." Ngunit gumuho ang mundo ni Elizabeth nang mapagtanto niyang ang lalaking ito… ay walang iba kundi si Benedict—ang ama ng kanyang kaibigan. Isang single dad na hindi rin inakalang ang babaeng tinulungan niya sa kalsada ay ang magiging dahilan ng muling pagtibok ng kanyang puso. Handa ba si Elizabeth na mahalin ang lalaking hindi niya dapat ibigin? At kaya ba niyang ipaglaban ang damdaming maaaring sirain ang pagkakaibigan nila ni Monique?

When Gwyneth opened her eyes, she found herself in a webnovel she had just binge-read, and she wasn’t just a random character—she was the villain’s mother! In the story, after the tragic death of her first husband, the original owner of her body had swiftly moved on and snagged a perfect new partner, only to heartlessly cast aside her son from the first marriage, worrying he would become a burden. Now armed with knowledge of the impending plot twists and the looming shadows of her future villain son, Gwyneth glanced at her surprisingly alive first husband and groaned. With the script she had been dealt, she'd rather face a dragon than revamp this narrative! She was determined to rewrite her destiny, but how could she escape this villainous fate?

To Willa Fowler, I'm not her husband, but rather, a non-performing asset that awaits her handling. When I fall sick and ask her for help, she grows impatient with me. "This is a low-tier problem that you should be dealing with on your own. There's no need to report to me about it." When I burst into tears from an emotional breakdown, she berates me, "If you lose control of your emotions, you'll just show everyone else the vulnerability in our alliance. Next time, I'll have the PR team teach you how to manage your emotions." Even when I call her for help after getting into a car crash, she doesn't hesitate to hang up on me. "Everything concerning you isn't important enough for me to suspend the hundred-billion-dollar transaction I'm performing right now." I spend seven days in the ICU getting my life saved afterward. On the first day of getting home, I witness Willa bending down to gently coax another young man into taking his medication. She opens her mouth in an attempt to explain the situation to me. But I just chuckle bitterly before handing over the paperwork I've already prepared in advance to her. This time, I sound exactly like her. "Ms. Fowler, regarding our marriage project, after a comprehension evaluation, the return on the investment is deemed too low. Therefore, I'd like to officially propose a termination on this project. "This is the divorce agreement. Please leave your signature here."

My parents, Morris Lester and Andrea Smith, got a divorce. My younger brother, Ian Lester, goes with my mother, who marries into money, while I stay with my father, who has just gone bankrupt. However, fate has a twisted sense of humor. My mother remarries Mark Laurent, an abusive man, and her life spirals downward. My father, on the other hand, pulls himself together and builds a successful business from the ground up. Ian becomes green with jealousy. He pretends to be pitiful, begs me to take him shopping, and drives us straight into a car crash that kills us both. When I open my eyes again, we're back on the day our parents file a divorce. This time, Ian pipes up, "I want to stay with Dad and make a better life together!" I keep a straight face, but deep down, I'm over the moon. I, Ethan Lester, refuse to spend another lifetime living like a fugitive.

In the third year I've decided to support my girlfriend, Iris Fulton, by opening a flower shop, she has gone into bankruptcy once again. The first time she went bankrupt, I sold the house my grandma had left for me so that I could clear the debt of 700 thousand dollars. The second time she went bankrupt, I was able to locate the bank passbook Mom had left for me as a wedding gift. That was how I paid back one million and six hundred thousand dollars. The third time Iris has gone bankrupt, however, I can only grip the note with my filthy rich dad's phone number while staring at her lost and dazed expression. At that time, I'm debating whether or not I should call him. But that night, I accidentally notice the chat history on Iris' group chat that's displayed on her tablet. "Hey Iris, how many figures are you going to fill into the sum of the bankruptcy contract that's supposed to be cleared this time?" "Let's put ten million dollars. Otherwise, that flower-selling plaything will be able to clear the debt in one go. It'll make things very boring." "As expected of you, Iris! I heard that the plaything waters flowers in the morning and waters your flower garden at night. You're never tired of him, are you?" I put down Iris' tablet before calling my dad right away. "You want me to take over the family business and marry your student, right? Fine, I'll do it. Get your men to pick me up in three days."