Dark Comedy Novels & Stories

James had no idea how he managed to drive to the funeral parlor on the east side of the city. Along the way, he ran four red lights and almost crashed into a bus. Marissa sat in the back seat, completely silent throughout the journey, though she chewed on her nails nervously. The morgue was located in the basement of the funeral parlor and was so cold that it could even freeze bones. Meanwhile, the fluorescent lighting above hummed with electricity, the clinical white making everyone appear ghastly pale.

"Not just us. Everyone." "He always does," I said. "He's looking for the thing that doesn't fit." "Are we the thing that fits tonight?" I smiled at something he hadn't said, the way you smile at a private joke with someone you love, which was exactly the kind of thing a woman newly engaged smiles at. "Perfectly," I said. He made a sound that might have been amusement. The next hour was architecture.

Definitely a couch. Bianca's eyes were adjusting slowly to the darkness. She could make out vague shapes now. A door across the room. A window, but it was covered with something that blocked all outside light. She tried to stand but her legs were still weak. Whatever they had given her was still in her system, making everything difficult. The room smelled musty, old. Like a place that had been closed up for a long time. Bianca managed to get to her feet, swaying slightly. She took a step toward where she thought the door was and immediately stumbled into a piece of furniture.

The dark humor was so perfectly Jaxx that I couldn't help but laugh. I burst out laughing, the sound bright against the lingering tension in the room. The absurdity of his grim humor never failed to catch me off guard, to remind me that beneath the violence and the control, there was a man who made me laugh in the darkest moments. Jaxx just shrugged, completely unbothered by his own dark wit, though a small smile played at his lips, softening the hard lines of his face.

"Ms. Sampson's villa isn't home for the homeless. They're your parents, aren't they, Felix? Figures. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Ugh, I can still smell the mud on them." Rage flared within my heart, but I held it back and quickly wiped the water off my in-laws. Diane had a short fuse. She would not stand for this insult, so she snapped, "And who are you supposed to be, you uneducated swine? How dare you call Felix a homeless man!" Zack did not hold back. Instead, he pressed on the attack. He picked up a ceramic ornament and hurled it at Diane. I deflected it with my hand, and the ornament grazed me.

Her parents died last year, drug addicts and mom couldn't let them be alone in that neighborhood, so they live upstairs. "Hot stuff." He eyed, Lucia, up and down. "Excuse me?" She gave him a look. "The coffee." He smirked. "And hot stuff, you don't have the right tool. I prefer chick's over dicks." With that said, she left. I laughed, I love her. "You know, if you eat all that, you'll start to destroy your perfect figure. No guy likes chubby girls." He told me as he was going through his phone. "Reasons why I don't like guys my age, I prefer older men, they know what they want and oh man, the sex is Incredible, very experienced."

Though Dominic can clearly read my mind as he only stares at me, “Boss, you look like you can eat someone alive.” “What do you expect? How can you not get horny inside here.” “I was horny before we even got through the door.” “You are just damn sick.” And then the shit starts with Jackson’s men. Drake, the less clever one between all the ones between them comes walking up to Dominic, “Look whom we have here Matt.” Matthew only but laughs, “Laurel and Hardy.” But then Anthony just has to add, “More like Dumb and Dumber.” This immediately pisses Dominic off and he snaps back, “The last time I checked you were the Three Stooges.”

She had plunged at him like she wanted to bite him when he looked at her and as he screamed, she couldn't help but laugh. They were eventually thrown out of the cinema for disrupting the peace but after Jade had managed to convince Shawn that it was just makeup. She washed it off her face as Shawn couldn't bear to look at her. As they walked out of the cinema, Shawn grumbled about the prank while Jade kept laughing. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed that hard. She couldn't remember the last time she had been sincerely happy. She had never imagined she would ever be that happy again. But she knew it wouldn't last. And this time, it ended faster than she expected.

The moment the pill melted on my tongue, I knew something was off. Instead of the usual bitter taste, there was a sharp, metallic flavor, like chewing on a mouthful of coins and dirt. I gulped it down and glanced at Francis Davis, the Don of the Davis mafia family. He was standing by the window, his back to me, looking all stiff and serious. "This pill's not right," I said. He spun around, and streaks of sunlight from the blinds sliced across his face, making him look like he was part of a black-and-white movie. "What's wrong with it?" he asked.

I responded light-heartedly, "I had to wait a while to get on the elevator. There were too many people. Sorry for being late." By the time we got back to the campus after lunch, it was already late in the afternoon. All of my dormmates were lying on their beds and playing with their phones. I gave them a casual apology before handing out the gifts William and I bought for them. It was a small bottle of perfume that had a pretty decent scent and an affordable price. I rather liked it myself.