Dark Humor Jokes No Limits Novels & Stories

After reliving my life for the third time, Soren Vantrell still died at 28. Unwilling to accept it, I started over again, meeting him and falling in love as before, until a sudden turn changed everything. He began claiming his mental state was unstable, using it as an excuse to visit his psychologist, Dr. Nadia Pembroke, again and again. Until one day, I caught them kissing inside her consultation room. With a light, mocking laugh, Soren said, "You might think I’m crazy if I told you this, but I really have died three times. Every single time, I died right next to Sloane Hartwell. "I was originally curious to see how she would try to save me this time. Now that I think about it, she must have been bad luck. Once I stayed far away from her, didn’t I end up living just fine?" I quietly stepped back. In this fourth life, whether he lived or died has nothing to do with me anymore. This time, I was going to live my own life.

I accidentally break the glass that my husband's true love gave to him. As punishment, he sends me to a place where the upper crust groom their playthings. He wants me to go there as an apology to his true love. I suffer inhumane treatment there. Later, I manage to escape and am brought to the hospital. That's where I find out I'm pregnant.

I never wanted to gamble, yet I could not stop myself from going to the tables. I kept losing, over and over, until I was buried under ten million in debt. After investigating the cause, I finally learned the truth–my older brother had placed me under a puppet-like control. Every loss was recorded under my name, while all the winnings went straight into his pocket. My wife was furious. She slapped me, took our son, and divorced me. I tried to explain myself again and again, but she refused to listen. "Nathan, can you stop making excuses? Did someone hold a knife to your throat? You chose to gamble." After that, my brother only grew more ruthless, raising the stakes until I lost everything overnight. With nothing left, my creditors chopped off my limbs and threw me into the sea, leaving me to drown. Even after my death, they did not spare my wife and child. She was humiliated to death, and my son was sold overseas, his whereabouts unknown. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day I first lost control and went to the gambling den.

While I was traveling overseas with my family, a sudden flood hit. My fiancé slung my sister Joan over his back because her legs were weak, and ran for safety. My parents didn't have time for me, but they still remembered to grab the parrot they had just bought for Joan. All of them flew home overnight and even posted in the family group chat about how lucky everyone was to survive. But… They forgot something. I was still trapped in the flood, alone and helpless. When I woke up, I called my mentor without hesitation. "Dr. Jackson, I've decided to go with you and join Doctors Without Borders. I'm never coming back."

"Our time as contract lovers ended. I was no longer his tool. We both went our separate ways, but never did I expect to see Kai Winson, a renowned billionaire, at my work doorstep two weeks later, asking for a second chance." "Name it. Your price, anything if you become mine, no contract, just you." Two weeks later. After Tiffany had moved out of his mansion. Kai finds himself on the next flight to Seattle as his desire for Tiffany grows. However, Tiffany has no plans to get back to him, but Kai is down to do anything for even her attention if that means being a regular customer or her neighbour. Tiffany, on the other hand, is heartbroken and plans to focus on her job, but Kai's presence stirs something within her, as Tiffany gets closer to Kai, her past life hunts her threatening the life of everyone she loves. Extract: He needed to stop before he lost himself completely. His hands fisted in her hair, pulling her away. He leaned in, kissing her deeply before guiding her onto her back, spreading her legs wide. "You're driving me insane, Tiffany Halton," he rasped, his forehead pressing against hers. "God, what am I going to do with you?" She gasped, every inch stretching around him, her breath coming in sharp little cries. Kai clenched his jaw, struggling to keep himself in check as he buried himself inside her. Each time he tried, her body responded with a shiver, a breathy moan that drove him wild. Finally, he breached her, sliding deep inside, burying himself to the hilt. They both moaned. "Oh, fuck," he groaned. Kai looked down, mesmerized by the sight of them joined together. The way he disappeared into her over and over.

The last time I argued with my husband, he slammed the door on me and left. I was so upset that I died from a heart attack. Meanwhile, he took his lover and her son traveling to take his mind off things. The entire time, our daughter, who was just a child, was abandoned at home for seven days with my corpse. At last, when Eliott remembered me and my daughter, he returned home to see my corpse. Having fallen sick, my daughter was all skin and bones. When Eliott realized his mistake, he hugged our daughter tightly and broke down crying in front of my grave. My daughter pulled away from him and hid behind my gravestone. She hissed sharply at him, “Who do you think you are? Don't disturb Mommy’s rest!”

A year after my divorce, my ex-husband, Harvey Fisher, pings me in a group chat. "This cold war has gone on for long enough. Come home—let's remarry." I reply, "Have you lost your mind?" Everyone in the group chat tries to convince me to take Harvey back. Meanwhile, he asks, "What have you been doing without me in your life?" I turn to look at my current husband, who's putting our child to sleep. I reply, "Recovering after having a child." The group chat members are initially excited, but they instantly fall silent at my words. Harvey angrily calls me countless times, but I ignore him. His mind is not the only thing he's lost—he's also lost the young woman who once loved him more than life itself.

Lena Cole is an omega with nothing, no rank, no family name, no money. Just a sick mother, a leaking cottage at the edge of pack territory, and twelve silver coins a day from scrubbing pots in the pack's kitchen. On the night of the Moon Ceremony, the bond reveals itself. Lena feels it. Damien Stone feels it too. She sees it in his eyes, one unguarded moment before he looks away, crosses the ceremony ground, and announces another woman as his Luna in front of the entire pack. What Lena doesn't know is that the Moon Goddess never chose Victoria Hale. The light was bought. The ceremony was corrupted. And Alpha Marcus Stone paid for every bit of it because he did the same thing thirty years ago to his own mate. An omega he loved. A woman he sent away. A woman who died alone. Now his son is following the exact same path. Lena leaves quietly. No tears. No drama. Just a letter, a bag, and a decision made at dawn. Five years later she comes back to Blackridge. Not as the kitchen girl who scrubbed pots for twelve silver coins in the pack's kitchen but as the woman who owns every inch of land his pack is built on. He wants her back. She wants him to feel every single thing he made her feel. She left as nobody. She's coming back as his worst mistake.

The day before our engagement, Stellan Graves came shopping with me, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. I bought a chili dog from a street stall and held it up to his mouth only for him to swat it out of my hand, sending it flying to the ground. Fury flashed across his face as he snapped, "Ivy Stein, the Graves family needs a woman who can actually show her face in public. Stop buying cheap trash like this. You're embarrassing me. How do you expect my parents to accept you like this?" I picked up the food in humiliation, threw it into the trash, and nodded meekly for the sake of our four years together in college. "As you wish." … However, the very next day, he switched his fiancee to Amelia Lane. "Ivy, Amelia tried to kill herself just to marry me. She's in the hospital now. Once she's stable again, I'll come back and marry you." Four years later, he showed up at my tiny apartment with a diamond ring in hand. "Ivy, Amelia has already agreed to divorce me. We can finally be together. I told you before—once Amelia lets go of her obsession with me and stops hurting herself, I'll come and marry you." I frowned at Stellan's so-called heartfelt expression. I must have had terrible luck that day. Who'd have thought I'd run into this wacko when I'd come back to my place on a whim?! "Move," I demanded, shoving him out the door. "You're blocking the way. I need to pick up my kid from school."

“I wish that, in your next life, you would spend 16 hours a day with your true love—just being together, even if in silence.” – Kate Leslie “I hope in your next life, you’ll only be able to work for someone else—never a boss, never in control. May you feel what it’s like to be commanded, even oppressed, in your job.” – Rex Leslie “I wish that in your next life, every single one of your companions would be from the underworld—no decent people, no respectable connections at all. May you experience the pain of having to interact with the very people you despise, and may you even lower yourself to fear them and obey, trapped by your own fears and prejudice.” – Max Leslie “I hope that in your next life, you’ll be gay—and not just any gay man, but the kind who is submissive, the kind who finds himself under another man. Not just one, either—let’s make two, no, three or maybe four. I want you to experience what it feels like to be completely dominated.” – Kix Leslie ...... Noah Leslie was a self-made successful businessman who unexpectedly got a chance to reborn. However, his new life was not determined by him, but shaped by his family. At first, he had confidence in his family's view of him, but when he heard their true wishes, he was shocked and unable to accept them: to fall in love and nothing but love, never to be a boss, interact with the mafia, and love men. Faced with these unbelievable wishes he could not agree with, Noah had no chance to argue. His new identity filled him with helplessness and rejection, but with no other choice, he had to accept this strange and oppressive second life.