Dark Humor Jokes No Limits

BOOK #1 MARINOS' MAYHEM SERIES "I said 'act like my boyfriend' for just five minutes, not 'act like my fucking husband' for the rest of your life!" Adrian Price half-yelled, his fingers curled into a tight fist as he glared at the terrifying, yet super gorgeous man in front of him. Giovanni Marino blinked slowly, taking his time to register every detail of Adrian's figure into his memory, not minding that he was disturbing his work at all. "I don't see a big difference between the two." "Oh, for fuck sake! You're a thug, but surely you're not dumb, are you? Do you not know when to stop?" Adrian scoffed, his anger growing thicker. "Sadly, I don't seem to know what 'stop' means. You made the idea of being someone's boyfriend sound so great now I don't think I wanna stop." Adrian Price knew asking a mobster to fake being his boyfriend would get a lot of unnecessary attention from lustful eyes off him, but what he never knew was that the man he had just picked was no different from the unwanted pests that lingered around him, wanting to have a taste of him. Giovanni Marino enjoyed clubbing as much as he enjoyed killing; however, despite this, he was extremely lonely. Now, the big bad man had found a toy he could play with, and he was having the best fun of his life. Would he ever stop and return to his lonely life? That, he wasn't sure he could do that. Not even when he realized Adrian was his enemy's son. He needed Adrian, either to break him or to make him.

After a sex filled night with a beautiful, strange lady, Elvin is torn between eagerness to say goodbye to this lady, and the desire to have one more feel of last night when the government declares a lockdown. He finds himself trapped inside his home with her, and just like him, she also wants more experiences like last night, although, through a series of games.

The night before our Mating Ceremony, my fated mate, Alpha Ryker of the Howling Moon Pack, ordered me to give him the Moon Soul Crystal—the very thing that protected my pack, the Willow Creek Pack. He said he needed it to power up the Howling Moon Pack's Blood Moon Altar. He also promised he'd keep me and my people safe. But he didn't know that we, the healers of the Willow Creek Pack, can only create one Moon Soul Crystal in our entire lives. Making one takes a crazy amount of moon energy. It's the treasure that keeps our pack alive. My mother, worried about me using up my moon energy while I was pregnant, gave up her own Moon Soul Crystal instead. But just three months after Ryker and I were mated, she got sick, fast. She was dying. I knelt in front of Ryker, crying, begging him for the Silverleaf Herb from the Howling Moon's forbidden grounds. It was the only thing that could save my mom. But he just looked at me, his eyes full of disappointment, and kicked me away. "I asked for the Moon Soul Crystal to test you," he snarled. "And just as I thought, you married me for our pack's treasures! Your mother's not sick. You're making it all up!" "You don't deserve to be the Luna of the Howling Moon Pack!" It wasn't until after my mother died, when he was arguing with me, trying to kick me out of the pack, that my mother's things fell and scattered everywhere. Her Soul Stone, the symbol of a wolf's spirit, shattered. That's when he finally realized he was wrong. He fell to his knees, begging me not to leave, crying for me to forgive him.

Arranged to marry the king of hell, Lycan Mikhail Lenovo, in exchange for her older brother's freedom. Would you accept such a fate and let everything you had worked hard for crumble before your eyes, or would you rebel? Those were the questions that stood as a force to reckon with for Rosanne when she was forced to get married to the most feared Lycan King of the Dark Moon pack. All hope of becoming an Alpha, a position she had trained for all her life, taken from her grasp and she had to accept her fate as a breeder. Locked and confined in a room like a prisoner, would hope arise from the ashes for Rosanne, or would she be forced to continue producing pups for the Lycan King?

Isha dan Satrio tepergok berduaan di dalam kontrakan dan dituduh berbuat mesum. Keduanya dipaksa menikah saat itu juga atau akan diarak keliling kampung dan diusir dari sana. Mau tak mau Isha menikah dengan Satrio yang dianggap penganguran dan tidak jelas pekerjaannya. Setelah menikah Isha dan Satrio tinggal di rumah orang tua Isha. Keduanya terus-terusan direndahkan dan dianggap remeh oleh ibu dan Vita, adik tiri Isha. Satrio selalu dibandingkan dengan Surya, pacar Vita, yang bekerja di perusahaan besar dan punya jabatan bagus. Satrio tetap diam saat dirinya direndahkan, tapi dia selalu membela saat Isha direndahkan. Bagaimana cara Satrio membela istrinya dan membungkam orang-orang yang merendahkan mereka?

"This is the body donation agreement, Mr. Lewis. Please sign here." Joel Lewis looks at the paper before him. His hand trembles as he grips a pen. The other party can sense his hesitance. They say considerately, "Body donation is a big thing, and it's normal for people to change their minds at the last minute. You can go home and discuss this with your family—" "I've already signed it." Joel smiles bitterly. "Family" is a term that's beyond him. There's no longer any space in his wife's heart for him, after all.

"I, Conrad Alaric, Alpha of the Shadow pack, break every bond that I share with you, and on this day reject you as my mate." Hearing his words caused my eyes to shut instantly, with the whimpering that went inside of me. My wolf was sad. But , it was that day I decided to take the change, the day I put an end to begging for his love. "And what makes you think that I will come back to you so easily?" "Because... Because I think I'm deeply in love with you now, Katherine."

Crossing part with Satan's heir was never my plan. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now, he is under my tail. Betrayed by my supposed fiancé, stuck with the devil himself. If he was the only man on Earth, I would rather die single, but I can't, not when he stalks me, makes me shiver at his touch and make me beg desperately, on my knees. I wasn't ready to accept him in my life, not after the first betrayal from my fiancé but he forced his way into my life, and turned my world upside down.

Athena Raven Lark had everything a girl could dream of, a life of abundance, surrounded by opulence and comfort. But tragedy strikes when her parents die, but was it all to their death? They left her and her younger brother behind. Forced to live with her less-than-loving aunt, Athena's world is turned upside down. Then she meets Azazel Black, the son of a devil, whose obsession with her goes beyond reason. He will stop at nothing to possess her, even if it means destroying everything in his path, including her. His dark and twisted love threatens to consume them both, leaving Athena trapped in his web of obsession. But when Athena is accused of a crime she didn't commit, the murder of Azazel Black’s mother, the evidence against her is damning, and Azazel is convinced of her guilt. He subjects her to the relentless wheel of revenge, leaving her isolated and alone, with no one to turn to for help. As Athena struggles to prove her innocence, she wonders if she'll ever be able to escape Azazel's clutches. Will she survive his trial of obsession or become his victim, forever lost in the darkness of his love? The truth lies buried deep within the shadows of their twisted relationship, and only time will tell if Athena will be able to break free from Azazel's hold.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” “Not after your betrayal Damon,” She sniffled in the tears that were about to fall. Coming back to her arms with a pregnant woman was not enough, and now he wants to take her in as a second wife. What else did fate have in store for Hayley as she goes through a series of hurt from her relationship with Damon Ancelotti? And now, Candice, the one person who gave her the courage to keep her shit together had suddenly turned against her? Where did everything go wrong? Has she just been the pun in the game of a union all along? Find out in this captivating read!