Dark Humor Jokes Tagalog

Alpha Jordan’s Dark Obsession Blurb:  After being betrayed by her fiance, Denzel, Catherine Blackwood never expected her life to collide with Alpha Jordan's. She worked as an usher in an event management company, trying to cater for herself and her mother after her father died. But her mother was diagnosed with cancer and she needed money. Jordan offered to help but under the condition that Catherine have his pup. Jordan was a man haunted by the death of his mate, Archie. He swore never to love again and used women for fun. Yet when he met Catherine at the Alpha Ball, everything changed. Something about Catherine awakens the part of him he thought was long dead. But Catherine didn't seem to like him and his Beta made him believe Catherine was a rogue. He hated rogues and wished them dead, yet Catherine's scent called to his wolf and he wanted Catherine to have his pup. So when Catherine needed financial help, he knew that was the only way he could get her to have his pup. Will they eventually find love with each other? Or would their insecurities drive them farther apart?

"I will not allow you to choose what days to love me." Klaire Hendoza, has a simple and peaceful life. A man will come, she will love him w/ all her heart. But... he will leave her, while she 's bearing his child. Five years later, Luis Mendrano came back. He turned out to be a well-known Mafia Boss. They were brought back w/ him to be protected. But, she made a wrong choice. Because she will experience the dreadful life w/ him. Will she stay? With the cruel and dangerous Mafia Boss. Who wants her killed.

Gumuho ang mundo ni Scott Dela Vega ng malaman nyang hindi sya ang totoong anak ng kanyang kinalakihang Pamilya. Paano na ang kanyang mala buhay Prinsipe?! Paano na ang mga mamahalin nyang kotse?! Paano na ang dapat nyang mamanahin na kompanya at ilang billion na pera?! Paano kung malaman ng mga humahanga sakanya na hindi sya ang totoong Dela Vega?! Paano na sya bibili ng mga gusto nya kung mawawalan sya ng pera?! Ayaw nyang mabuhay na pulubi at mag hirap. Kaya nakaisip si Scott ng isang plano... Paano kung pakasalan nya ang totoong anak ng mga Dela Vega? Eh di hindi sya mawawalan ng kayamanan. Wala nang pakealam si Scott kung ano pa ang kasarian nito basta ay magawa nya ang kanyang minimithing plano. What a Perfect idea! Perfect na sana kaso... Hindi kadaling makuha ang isang Skyler Perez na mas straight pa ata sa ruler.

Mature Content! When Valerie is kidnapped, in the late night by New York’s biggest drug lord and trillionaire for a crime committed by her twin sister. She isn’t prepared for the love drama, betrayal and love-hate situation that will come by being fancied, by a dangerous yet smokingly hot Donovan Castillo, a man who walks hand-in-hand with death! ~~~ Valerie Blackfield is an orphan, who dreams of living a simple life filled with love, and happy memories with the one she loves. But when trouble comes knocking at her doorstep because of her twin sister, all thoughts of living a happy life gets crushed at the interval of the big bad wolf, Donovan Castillo who drags her into his dangerous world. Donovan Castillo, is on the hunt to catch the woman who might be the reason why his step brother is lying in a vegetative state. But when he catches an innocent bunny instead of an assassin, he doesn't plan on becoming obsessed with the sister of his enemy. At first, it all started with a threat to kill her, but along the way, Donovan's cold heart was smitten by her innocent yet addicting aura, that would cause her death or the fall of his great empire. Forced into a marriage to tie her down with him, would marriage change Valerie's perspective of the man, who had taken everything and everyone she loved for his selfish interest? When the sins of his past come to play a vital role, would he set Valerie free of his dangerous entrapment to save her life, or would he do what he thinks is right and die alongside the love of his life? Let's read to find out! ~~~ A/N: Rated 18+. This book contains mature terms, read carefully!

"Charm, get ready may susundo na dito maya-maya lang.""Get ready your face Kuya. Itatago ko to… hahaha.""Charm?""Huh?""This is serious matter. Ikakasal ka na.""Kuya, may nagsabi na ba sayo na ang pangit mo kapag naka-seryoso mukha mo?""Charm!" hala galit na ang kapatid my labs ko."Ikakasal ka sa kanya. Sa ayaw o gusto mo." Nagseryoso na rin ako. Pero natawa."Is this a game Kuya?"

Rose was an orphan girl. Enduring a painful past and a black heart. she never cared for anyone. Love, pity, compassion, conscience. Things you never knew. The orphanage was the only home she knew, she was incredibly beautiful, a devilish beauty, the blink of an eye, one that would make any man kneel to her. She committed every crime, and every sin, robbed, killed, and destroyed many homes. She loved seeing the pain in other people's eyes. She was a heartless beast. The only light in her life that could keep her human was her little sister Catherine, her little angel, the light of her life. The only evidence of her humanity, a part of her was still human, just because of her. Until the day she saw her sister's body, dumped in a garbage can. Revenge was burning her soul. The goal of her life became revenge. But she found it much more difficult than she expected, as her sister's killer was a demon, in every sense of the word. She thought herself a monster, but she was wrong, she was an angel to him. Leo, the killer of her sister, was the most feared man in the world, the leader of the largest gang. And the most feared mutants in the universe. And her heart, which never knew fear, became trembling before his eyes. She hated him and he hated her to the point of madness. A love story between two monsters. Blood, jealousy, and murderous obsession. A love that will not be recognized until death.

Dahil sa kagustuhang maipagamot ang ina pagkatapos nitong ma-stroke ay napilitan siyang tanggapin ang offer na sumayaw sa isang kliyente na si Mr. MC. Isa siyang private sexy dancer ng lalaking hindi man lang niya nasisilayan ang mukha. Kailangan niyang painitin ang gabi nito sa pamamagitan lang ng sayaw. Just watch, no touch, kumbaga. Nang makilala na niya ang katauhan nito ay unti-unti na ring nahuhulog ang loob niya sa lalaki. Makakaya niya bang ipaglaban ang nararamdaman niya sa taong binabayaran lang siya dahil sa katawan niya? Paano kung ang kasunduan nila ay magtatapos kapag bumalik na ang babaeng pakakasalan sana nito?

Being the head of the family, kay Marco na atang ang responsibilidad na palaguin ang kumpanyang itinaguyod ng pamilya pati na rin ang pagpapalaki sa nakababatang kapatid na si Beatriz. He had worked hard, played all his cards wisely para marating ang kung anumang narating niya ngayon. Aside from being the CEO of Fuentabella Conglomerate, together with his two mates ay naitayo nila ang FHM Management. He then finally decided the inevitable, to settle down because part of him longed for something warm like the sunshine. How cheesy it may sound he wanted something like what Beatriz possess. Love and family. Everything was doing fine. He's waiting for Poleen to be ready until he get a taste of her. Her sweet, innocent Cielo. Consuelo Sta. Maria, ang dalagang napiling ipakasal kay Stefano Hernandez. Ang naturang kasal ang magiging kaganapan sa matagal ng plano ng parehong haligi pamilya. She give it a try, kung para sa abuelo niya ay gagawin niya ang lahat. Stefano seems nice sa kabila ng pagiging stiff at aloof. Until their paths cross, the remarkable Marco Antonio Fuentabella Would she succumbed to heat everytime Marco initiates it? Paano na ang nalalapit niyang kasal kay Stef? Would she commit?

Si Francine Forenbach ay ang Prinsesa ng Green River Pack. Ang dakilang anak na babae ng Lycan King. Sa edad na katorse anyos, ang pamilya Forenbach ay nakilala ang isang hindi kilalang sibilyan. Binigyan siya ng pamilyang Forenbach ng mga kasuotan, pagkain, at tirahan. Laging malungkot ang buhay ni Azure mula nang siya ay isilang. Ngunit sa pagpasok niya sa Pack, sinimulan niyang pag-isipang muli ang desisyon na laging bumabalot sa kanyang isipan. Nagkaroon ng damdamin si Francine para kay Azure. Habang sila ay lunalaki, nakita ni Azure ang kanyang sarili na mahinang lalaki pagdating kay Francine. Napagtanto na ang kanyang damdamin para sa kanyang "kapatid" na babae ay hindi resulta ng kanilang pinagsamang pagkabata. Ngayong pareho na silang nasa tamang edad, dapat alamin ng dalawa kung paano mauunawaan ang kanilang nararamdaman bago pa maging mas kumplikado ang mga bagay-bagay. Imposibleng mahalin siya nito. Bawal niyang mahalin si Francine. Kasalanan ang mahalin ang dalaga. Si Francine ang kanyang nakababatang kapatid na babae. Pero ang tanong... paano niya malalabanan ang inosenteng kulay tsokolate na mga mata nito?

Nang mapunta si Raven De Leon, sa lugar na kung saan malayo sa syudad. Lugar na kung saan, puro puno at tunog ng mga ibon at alon ng dagat lamang ang maririnig. Lugar, na kung saan nakilala niya ang isang binatilyo na si, Aries De Guia. Nagkita at nagkakilala sila sa hindi inaasahan na lugar at pagkakataon, at mag hihiwalay nga din ba sila, sa itinakdang panahon?