Dark Humor Jokes Tagalog

"As what?" I asked with sarcasm evident in my voice. "As my sex slave," Matteo Russo said, and I choked. I didn't just choke but I laughed out my heart. This had to be a joke. Laura Vento never got anything from her parents, except being sold to Antony Brown to pay off a debt. Her only chance of freedom is to pay off the money. Laura has a plan, to work her ass off so she can be free. Everything was going smoothly until she met the notorious mafia leader Matteo Russo, whose reputation precedes him. Matteo is a man with no emotions but when he meets Laura- The gorgeous red headed stripper, he knew he has to have her- no matter the cost

“Why won’t you say anything?” “Because I am under an oath!” I panted heavily. “My father made me swear an oath not to reveal our tradition to anyone. If I do, he will know, and he will come for me.” “And don’t you think I will protect you, Dora?” Jasper said, holding my face in both his hands, with hurt in his eyes. “Don’t you have faith in me?” ___________________________________ Due to constant abuse from her family, Isadora Campbell lost her will to live until her mate, Jasper Reed, majestically walked in, and saved her life. All of a sudden, Dora has a second chance at life with a mate who is recognized and respected by everyone as a hero. Jasper Reed, the most powerful Alpha in the land, couldn’t be any happier to find his mate after years of searching and almost giving up. He believed he could finally live happy ever after with his mate. Just when he and Dora thought it was time for a new beginning, secrets from the past begin to haunt them. What happens when Jasper quickly finds out that there is more to Dora than meets the eye? What happens when deadly secrets threaten to tear them apart? Will Dora and Jasper fight to stay together, or will the enemy win and take everything away from them?

Dark romance" (18+) " "It's fucking driving me insane thinking that my seed are growing inside you." ______________________ Vincent, a man shrouded in mystery, powerful, and dangerous with a stone carved face impossible to read. The city trembled at the mention of his name. Vincent Sullivan, the enigmatic and feared businessman, and a mafia boss, whose empire was built on shadows and secrets. Aria is a young woman, with innocence and purity in her heart. Aria lives a simple life with her mother, finding happiness in the small life moments. She doesn't need riches to live happily; she only has a steady job to support them both. Her heart craves peace and a life free from excess. For her, true joy lies in peace, not in chasing wealth. Then everything fell apart. A contract. A marriage. And a man who felt less human and more like a shadow. A contract heavy with conditions. When Aria's innocence collides with Vincent's dark obsession, her peaceful world crashes. A manipulator consumed by his need to possess her, he craves her purity with a hunger he can't control. This book contains:- - Mature content - Vulgar language

Dahil sawa na si Thea sa pagbubunganga ng ina. Napilitang mag-abroad ang dalaga. Graduate siya ng BS Tourism. Sa isang construction company siya nakakuha ng trabaho sa Dubai. Maliban sa pag-o-opisina, on-call cleaner din siya. Isang araw, tinawagan si Thea ng kaibigan para maglinis ng unit ng boss nito. Sa isang hotel and casino nagtatrabaho ang kaibigan. Wala siyang hinihindian na part-time, kaya umo-oo kaagad siya. Hindi sukat akalain ng dalaga, na ang sikat na miyembro ng banda, na si Keith Hernandez pala ang kanyang kliyente nang gabing iyon. Kilala ito sa tawag na KH. Hindi niya maiwasang hangaan ito ng sobra. Sa loob ng dalawang buwan na pamamalagi ng binata, siya lang ang bukod tanging naglilinis at cook nito. At, sa maikling panahon na iyon, natutunan ni Thea na mahalin si Keith. Naisuko pa niya sa binata ang iniingatang perlas ng silangan, kahit na may iba itong minamahal. Hanggang kailan siya magiging rebound? Ano kaya ang gagawin ni Thea kapag nalamang ikakasal na pala ang binata sa iba?

Kendra is a party girl living her life to the fullest. When she is kidnapped by a sexy werewolf she is pulled into a DDLG relationship. Kendra tries hard to cope with her new circumstances, but the Alpha of the Blue Moon Pack has it out for her.

Books 1 and 2 In a world where it is almost impossible to find a fated mate and hard to reject them, Tamia finds herself in a bind when her husband suddenly finds his fated mate. From the loved and wanted wife, she faded into the shadows of his heart. The heartbreak is intense, yet she can't let go because of the ties that bind them, but she knows only true freedom can bring her peace. So when an opportunity to escape her husband's pack presents itself by virtue of sacrifice, she takes it and does not look back. Fate might have decided to rob her of her joy, her home and her happy ending, but Tamia takes destiny into her hands and decides to create her own fate with the Dark Alpha.

Amanda White, the first daughter of Baron Broke, must fulfill her destiny as the bride of the Black Prince for the sake of royal politics. Rumor had it that the Black Prince had previously killed his two wives right after their first night. Unfortunately, Amanda White had no other choice but to undergo the forced marriage. On the other hand, the Black Prince also felt burdened to marry Amanda White, because she was a distant relative of the Queen, someone he hated the most. Various conflicts also colored the marriage and the twists and turns of royal affairs. Would Amanda White be able to find happiness in the forced marriage? Did the Black Prince even know what 'love' was?

“Weakness compels strength. Betrayal begets blood..” - LILURA ÁSVALDR ODESSA Because of Lilura's mission to finish a notorious politician who sold minor children. The only way is to enter her Target's family. None other than the famous family of the Maxillians, she will work as an MAID of the Family to get her closer to her target. But it will be difficult to do the job because the young son of her boss, Rhysand Valdis Maxilliano, always accompanies her everywhere until she is placed as his contract wife only for the Politcs need. But how can she accomplish the mission if there are many obstacles in her way?Will she can succeed her plan? Or she will remain nothing? - WARNING !!Lahat po ng nilalaman ng kwento na ito ay pawang kathang isip lang, maaari ay huwag seryosohin. At pakiusap huwag po kayo tatangkilik ng nakaw na kwento. Kung sakali ito po ay makita niyo na na binibenta ng hindi naman ako ang writer. Ay pakiusap ipag bigay alam po sa akon na writer, huwag po tayo susuporta sa mga taong nanamantala ng gawa ng mga writer. Kinukuha ito at ibebenta. Ito po ay bawal!!Salamat!

All Wolves have fated mates they say, but not in every case! Some are cursed to be mateless, werewolves like Gabriella. When all her previous lovers died mysteriously, her one fated mate rejected her for fear of sharing the same fate and chose her stepsister over her. Then people try to stay away from the cursed one… If not all but the dark ones! When everyone, including herself, believes she's going to end up mateless for the rest of her life, she's offered a contract with the three richest Billionaires in the city! The cursed, dark, and legendary brothers; the ones who never die...

Imprisoned for years, Astrid Sterling burns for vengeance against the pack that executed her parents. But freedom comes with a cruel twist: she's fated to Kieran, the Alpha's son and her sworn enemy. Just as she grapples with his brutal claim, a second, profound mate bond pulls her to his enigmatic brother, Rhys. Forced to choose between them, Astrid's world shatters further when she unearths her true identity as a powerful hybrid, and discovers a third, forbidden mate: a Vampire Lord tied to her deepest secrets. Now, caught between duty, desire, and a thirst for truth, can she survive three fated bonds without losing herself, or unleashing a power that could destroy them all?