Dirty Jokes For Him Novels & Stories

My cousin, Vincent Walker, has fallen in love with Rova Thornwick, the chieftess of a cannibal tribe in Ambryndel. He insists on dragging the entire family to the tribe just so they can sort out the details of his wedding. Little do we know that Vincent has screwed up on the very first day. He accidentally mistakes the tribe's Divine Goblet for a toilet bowl due to his ignorance toward the rules. Vincent and his family are worried that they might get in trouble, so they flee from Ambryndel overnight without letting us know. As a result, my family and I get tied up by the furious cannibals. Later on, we are roasted to death over the fire pit. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day Vincent insists on traveling to Ambryndel to marry Rova.

Due to my outstanding work performance, my boss grants me special permission to have flexible working hours. I am out until very late last night meeting a client, and I have only been asleep for a while when a call from my colleague wakes me up. "It's already 9:30 am! Why are you late again today?" I explain to her patiently that I worked overtime last night to finalize things with a client and have them sign the contract, so I won't be going into the office in the morning. My colleague snickers. "You'd better not think that you can skip work whenever you like just because you've achieved top sales in our department. "Today is our boss' son, Mr. Hammond's first day in the office. He might just tell you to pack your things and leave if you were to upset him in any way!" Despite the splitting headache I'm having, I try to recall it in my head. Alex Hammond, the man she's just mentioned, sounds very much like that fiance of mine, who desperately wants to tie the knot with me.

On our fifth dating anniversary, my boyfriend, Luke Bolton, gives me a cheap bracelet worth less than a hundred dollars. On the same night, he splurges ten million dollars on a yacht for his first love, Cindy Gale. I refuse to accept this, and he accuses me of making a scene. "I gave Cindy that gift to boost the company's stock price, not because I still have feelings for her," he says. "You're poor, and I still promised to marry you. Isn't that enough? This was actually your last test, Elisa Gray, but you failed it." I break up with him, and he immediately proposes to Cindy. Five years after that, we meet again at a luxury hotel during a business summit. His company is about to become an industry giant, and Cindy is holding onto his arm. When he sees me, I'm standing in a fountain, all drenched and disheveled. "Elisa," Luke sneers. "When you turned me down back then, did it ever cross your mind that you might end up worse than a homeless person? "Don't think acting pitiful here will make me feel sorry and take you back." I ignore him. My son's cherished blue diamond was a birthday gift from his father, and he accidentally dropped it into the fountain. He's so upset that he's about to cry, and I have to find it right away.

After my older sister, Beatrice Hartwell, has passed away, my brother-in-law, Theodore Wesley, transfers me into his department. At first, I think he's merely watching out for me. But whenever Theodore bumps into someone else, he often leaves his sentences hanging. "After my wife has passed away, it's all thanks to Megan keeping me company all the time that I…" His words are often half-minced and filled with euphemisms. Because of him, the company is filled with rumors of me killing Beatrice just to take over her position at one point. I plead to Theodore to make things clear for everyone in the future. But during a Monday meeting, Theodore continues to mourn Beatrice longingly while bringing me up in a roundabout way. "The reason why Megan is late is that she spent the night in my house last night… Ah, I shouldn't have brought this up. Please don't overthink this, everyone." The thing is, Theodore is the one who wants me to edit the business proposal at his place. My boyfriend is with us the whole time! My colleagues all shoot me knowing glances immediately. They start muttering about "seeing the sister-in-law plot being manifested in real life". I try to explain myself, and yet Theodore keeps mucking things up for me. "Right! She was just editing the proposal in my bedroom—wait, no! It took place in the study! It's my fault for not knowing how to talk properly! The more I explain, the more chaotic things become!" I'm enraged, to say the least. Theodore doesn't know how to speak, right? Then he's better off silent for the rest of his life!

On the first day of my position as the branch manager of the branch company, I tell my assistant, Derek Mahoney, to not follow me around, seeing as I want to scope out the actual situation at the company in advance. After entering an elevator, I notice that a male colleague has his hands full because of a box he's carrying, so I help him jab the button of the floor he wants to visit. Before I can even retract my arm, the female colleague next to me is quick to slap my hand off the panel. "Where do you think you're touching? Are you trying to get cozy with him just because he's a guy?" The male colleague is stunned, to say the least. He quickly spoke to her in a lowered tone, "Are you nuts, honey? That lady was just lending me a helping hand!" The woman merely pinches the colleague furiously before hoisting me by the collar. "Lending you a helping hand, huh? She's already rubbing up on you and trying to help you out in every way possible even though I'm around. Does that mean she'll start seducing you outright if I'm not here?" I frown at the woman's logic and try to be reasonable with her. "Ma'am, please show me some respect. I'm the new—" "You're new?" The woman cuts me off with a scoff. "How dare you seduce my husband on your first day here! You really think I don't exist at all, huh?" Seeing as the elevator has reached my floor, I don't want to waste my time on the crazy woman any longer, so I try to leave. Mistaking my reaction for one of guilt, the woman quickly grabs my collar and yell, "Now you're trying to leave after stirring shit up, hmm? A minx like you isn't permitted to stay in the company! You must get fired immediately!"

While I'm poisoned with wolfsbane, a female Omega named Rita Thorne has accused me of being a traitor of the pack. But my husband, Fenrir Grimm, refuses to listen to my explanation. As he holds Rita in his arms, he tells me icily, "Cynthia Huntley, you're no longer worthy of being my Luna. From today onward, Rita shall replace you as the Luna. You, on the other hand, shall be exiled from the pack." Not only does Rita brand a mark of humiliation on my face, but she also secretly swaps out the antidote for the wolfsbane with something else. She wants me to die as a disfigured she-wolf. I don't want to, nor am I willing to accept this fate. The moment before Death embraces me fully, I pray to the Moon Goddess desperately. When moonlight illuminates the land, I hear the Moon Goddess's loving voice. "Cynthia, you're given 48 more hours to live."

At the ceremony where my father, Robert Clarke, is promoted to the position as the pack elder, my mate, Alpha Ethan Thornfield, raises the wine glass in his hand while smiling at him. "Elder Robert, there's this question which has been bothering me for the longest time. Does shamelessness run in the Clarke family's genetics? Otherwise, how are you able to raise a she-wolf as stubborn and defiant as Isabella who keeps pestering me the whole time?" Dad's wine glass is suspended in mid-air. All the wolves turn to look at us. I place the napkin on the table before meeting Ethan's gaze calmly. "Stop barking like a mad dog, Ethan. I agree to sever our mate bond. That way, you and that mistress of yours can finally get together." Ethan replies softly, "It's wonderful to see you making that decision with a sound mind." On the night the ceremony ends, a mate bond severance agreement, which is prepared in advance, is passed to me. Silently, I drop my signature on the last page of the document. Ethan and that Omega, Chloe Stonehart, have started their affair a year ago. He started forcing me to sever our mate bond six months ago. Since he craves freedom that much, I shall grant it to him. I just hope that he won't regret his decision at all when he loses everything he treasures.

Abigail Hale was nothing when billionaire Dominic Blackwood found her. She was broke, and desperate for survival and what began as a quiet arrangement turned into something neither of them expected: a connection so deep it felt fated. Like they were written in the stars, like they were meant to be together. He became her protector, her obsession, the man who made her believe she mattered. Then he betrayed her. To protect his empire and secure a political marriage, Dominic rejected Abigail publicly and framed her as a gold digger, and destroyed her reputation in one calculated move. She lost her job, her home, and her dignity, while he married another woman and pretended she never existed. He didn't go looking for her, no apologies just silence for years. He was wrong about everything. Years later, Abigail returns stronger, colder, and unrecognizable. She works at a mid-level position in a company she doesn't know is part of Dominic's shadow empire. But she's not just surviving anymore she has been planning, watching and waiting for the perfect moment to destroy everything he built because she knows secrets about the Blackwood empire that could burn it to ash. The moment Dominic sees her again, something inside him wakes up and the obsession returns again violent and possessive, the qualities that made her fall when they met. But there's something different about her now, something he can't place. She's not afraid anymore, not the scared waitress he helped out of the slums. She looks him in the eye and speaks with power now and even uses indirect insults. He starts buying everything around her including her apartment building, her workplace and every piece of her new life. He thinks he's trapping her but he doesn't realize she wants to be found.

Every Shade of him is a collection of MM Romance stories across all genres, which depicts that love has many faces, wounds, and flames. It can begin at first sight, fierce enough to defy family and expectation. It can rise from the ashes of fallen kingdoms, where a captured prince becomes the weakness of two powerful heirs. It can grow in the quiet space between a guarded young man and the billionaire who refuses to let him walk away. It can ignite between sworn enemies, bound by blood and revenge, who discover that hatred and desire burn the same way. And sometimes, it blooms between best friends — only to be torn away by fate, leaving one heart beating for two. These are not simple romances. They are stories of obsession, sacrifice, rivalry, devotion, and the kind of love that demands everything — pride, power, vengeance, even life itself. And in every shade of him… There is a love worth fighting for.

SHE WAS PUSHED TO HER DEATH BY THE MAN SHE LOVED. NOW, SHE’S BACK—AND SHE’S MARRYING HIS BIGGEST ENEMY. Vespera Thorne spent five years building her husband’s empire, only to be betrayed and murdered by him for her stepsister. But fate gives her a second chance. Reborn on the morning of her engagement, Vespera makes a ruthless choice: she walks away from her golden-boy fiancé—and proposes a contract marriage to Cyprian Hale, the city’s most feared and filthy-rich outcast. Cyprian is ruthless, possessive, and dangerously obsessed with her. He agrees to her deal, but he wants more than just revenge. He wants her. Together, they embark on a war of ruin—destroying her ex’s empire piece by piece, slapping every face that ever looked down on her, and uncovering a royal secret that changes everything. But as lines blur and passions ignite, Vespera must choose: Is she still the vengeful ghost of her past? Or has she finally found a love worth living for?