Dirty Mind Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

After I resign from my job as a forensic pathologist and return to my rural hometown to enjoy a laidback, leisurely life, I feel totally at peace. In contrast, my boyfriend's childhood sweetheart, Jessica Lester, starts panicking for real. She keeps begging me to stay. "Dr. Gardner, even though you're not that talented, I still hope you can stand beside me and speak up for those who have died unjustly!" I roll my eyes coolly and leave without looking back. In my previous life, Jessica is an intern put under my care. But every time we conduct an autopsy, she watches from the side but somehow manages to describe the victim's experiences before death ahead of me. She even uses wording that is identical to what I am thinking. I cannot make sense of it. In later autopsies, I give everything and go all out to prove myself, but even when she is not present, she can still iterate my findings at length. From then on, everyone idolizes her. Meanwhile, I become a laughingstock even if I am the most authoritative forensic expert in the state. Later on, the enraged family members of victims come to my doorstep every day. They lambast me and say that I am unworthy of being a forensic pathologist. They eventually set my house on fire, and I die miserably in the flames. When I open my eyes again, I return to the day I take Jessica to her first autopsy.

Mathematically put; 2blahdity - 6bluffity + 5whoopsie - 8oopsdaisy + Nerdiness.The Variable Life of Sam: where N(Nerdiness) is a constant.Has it crossed your mind to wonder how the first-all-Nigerian-schools excursion would be?Wonder no more as Sam takes us "out on dinner" with his "out of this world" narrative, weaving up his "breathtaking" adventures, with students from different schools. Hilarious moments, invented imaginations, teenage crush, life as a nerd, "The Battle of Wits: War Against Bullies"...Join this adventurous train on the railway of humour as Sam, the locomotive driver of the train takes us yonder.....

I'm the only university student in the village. But my entire family praises my cousin, Calvin Meyer, who has graduated from a vocational school, for being a talented person. What I've discovered is that Calvin's so-called talent actually comes from him voicing my thoughts. When I want to recite a poem as a toast to the guests, Calvin quickly says the poem out loud, resulting in everyone applauding for him. Naturally, Calvin takes the initiative to show off his "flair" for poetry in front of Barbara Sullivan, a well-known professor, by reciting the poetry that I've thought up. Because of that, she has taken a fancy to him. My uncle, Gary Meyer, uses the opportunity to insult me for being a dull bookworm who doesn't know how to socialize with others. On my grandpa's 80th birthday, my aunt, Sierra Meyer, who runs a huge business on her own, brings her family back to the village for the occasion. Uncle Gary arranges for me and Calvin to prepare a speech of our own so that we can convince Aunt Sierra to extend a helping hand to the youngsters' careers in the family. At the banquet, Calvin shoots up to his feet with his wine glass raised. He shoots me a smug look at that moment. Meanwhile, I just keep smiling before I begin thinking about the shocking gossip featuring Aunt Sierra and her family.

Even though it's the New Year holidays, I'm still cooped up in the company while churning out the paperwork needed for the company's listing process. That's when my keyboard suddenly types a paragraph on its own. "Stop working already! Your boss is about to fire you, and yet you're still slaving away for his sake!" I'm stunned by the information I see. The keyboard goes on typing, "He said you only have a bachelor's degree. If not for the fact that you're a walking lucky charm, you wouldn't have gotten into this company in the first place! "Now that the company is in the process of getting listed, it's costing far too much just to keep you around! Even though you're being paid a high salary every month, you can't even provide the company with any value! "He intends to dismiss you the moment the company gets listed! Since it's the new year, new blood should be joining the company!" I've been holding my coffee mug the whole time. At that moment, I can feel my hands starting to tremble. For five years, the projects that I've manned never got into any problems. The final round of funding always came through. Even when we were choosing a new office, we came across the situation of an owner who was all-too happy to get rid of the building. I can say with great confidence that I'm 90% of the main reason how this company expanded from a tiny office to the entire building. To think that I'm the first person to be discarded right after my boss reaches his goal… I can feel my stomach twisting uneasily. Even my throat goes tight from the anxiety. Just as I'm about to leave, a few angry voices ring out in the office. "I'm an office chair! I'll break during the board meeting tomorrow and make sure that your boss falls right on his ass!" "I'm a printer! I'll make sure to print all the documents he wants with nothing but gibberish on them!" "I'm a coffee machine! Tomorrow, I'll whip him a special brew that ensures he will never get to leave the toilet bowl for the rest of the day!"

After dating Gabriel Lowe for three years, we finally saved up enough money to buy a villa for ourselves. I personally designed this villa. But what I didn't expect was that the gas line in my villa would explode on the day Gabriel and I were meant to receive the keys. Not only did the entire villa get reduced into ruins, but the explosion also killed the neighboring family of three. On top of that, the fire even destroyed their antique painting that was worth 500 million dollars. Since I took responsibility for the explosion, I faced massive compensation claims. My mother-in-law and Gabriel had tears streaking down their faces as they promised to help me tide over this crisis, even if it meant selling everything under their name. I was touched by their words, so I used all of my assets in compensating the victims. After that, I spent the next 20 years in prison, only to die of severe illness there. But when I was on the verge of dying, I saw Gabriel with his arm around his first love, Jasmine Wade. Apparently, they were here to visit me. They grinned maliciously at me outside the bars. "The truth is, the family didn't die at all. The painting was a cheap imitation, too. I bribed them so that they could fake their deaths and leave the country. That's how I successfully got my hands on all of your assets. "If I didn't do that, how would I be able to marry Jasmine and move her into the villa?" It turned out that my decades of atonement was nothing but a huge scam targeted at my wealth and life staged by others. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day I'm meant to receive my keys. This time, I've personally checked all the pipes, installed seven safety valves, and taken away all the blueprints. Let's see how the explosion will occur now that there aren't any leak points! But at 3:00 pm, the explosion in the villa still occurs…

"I would rather cut my hand than hurting you. I can't even-- I - that thought can never cross my mind. Do you understand?" he said cupping her face in his large hand tilting it up so that he was looking directly in the beautiful brown eyes of hers which were filled with fear. Once peacefully life of Edna Williams turned upside down , when a mafia lord decided to give her his undivided attention, caging her in his world leaving her trapped. { Currently Under Editing }

As soon as I've moved into my new home, Rebecca Zangler, the white-collar office worker who lives across from my apartment calls the cops on me. Her reasoning is that I've been peeping on her whenever she's taking a shower because my unrequited love toward her has transformed into brimming hatred and resentment. When the police show up, Rebecca starts crying her heart out. Then, she begins berating me. "You pervert! Every night, you're the one peeping at me with your binoculars! You even uploaded my photos to the Internet! "I saw everything, you know! Those eyes of yours are nothing but lecherous! You really are disgusting!" My neighbors begin pointing at me while mumbling about me. Someone even comes over and starts roughing me up and calling me a scumbag. "Perverts like him should be chemically castrated!" "He looks decent at first glance, but you'll never know that he's actually a peeping Tom!" When faced against everyone's backlash, I take off my sunglasses quietly, revealing my cloudy eyes. "Officer, may I ask how can a blind man like me peep on others in the first place?"

At my son's tenth birthday, I unexpectedly gained the power to read minds. Standing before the candles, he made his wish. "I hope I score a hundred on my finals." Before I could commend his maturity, a second wish slammed into my ears. "I don't like Dad. I want Mr. Shaw to be my dad.'' My hands froze halfway through a clap.

Yvette and I fought over who was the real heiress for two lifetimes. In my first life, my parents were convinced I was their true daughter. They coaxed me into going to the hospital for a blood test. However, when I woke up in the ward, weak from blood loss, I saw their faces twisted with hatred as they strangled me. “You fake! Just die!” “You’re not our child at all!” I could not fight back. In agony, I took my last breath. In my second life, I was certain Yvette was the real heiress. I pretended to be sick to avoid my parents. Still, I saw the news a few days later—Yvette’s body had been found in the wilderness, drained to a husk. When I opened my eyes again, I was reborn for the second time. Yvette was shaken with fear, while I was dragging my suitcase. Both of us were staring at each other. I looked at her and smiled. “How about we run away together?”

I was reborn at the Sacred Mating Ceremony of Omega house, the day my sister, Lily, and I were picked up by our mates. I heard Lily think. [I have exchanged my token of love with Vanessa. The Golden Alpha becomes the King of the North. I’ll be Queen, and she can rot in the mud with the rogue.] That was when I realized I could hear people’s thoughts and that my sister, Lily, was also reborn. In my previous life, I was picked up by the Golden Alpha everyone envied since he was the Alpha of the wealthiest pack, while Lily ended up with the poor rogue Alpha who never achieved success. She lived in poverty and was later kicked out, only to collect scraps for her living. In this life, she changed our fate as she confidently stood by the Golden Alpha, Mathew's side. She wanted me to suffer the same fate she suffered in her last life. Starved and humiliated. I quietly walked up to the rogue Alpha, Gabriel, and stood by his side. I laughed inside. Does she really think that being poor is the worst thing that can happen? Then let us wait and see who has the last laugh.