Dirty Sex Jokes

"What happens when you meet a tall and handsome elf king who has saved your life but kill your temper?" ~*~*~*~ "I'm more of a man in this house. Why can't you let me be on top?" Sean asked with a pout. Oswin groaned, rolling his eyes and wondering just how much more innocent Sean could be. "It takes a heavy responsibility to be the top," he replied. "Responsibility? Then it's perfect. I'm making more money, cooking,..." "Sean. I'm talking about things like stretching and penetrating," Oswin explained as he ignored the bulge in his pants. "Do you even have experience?” “Then teach me, your majesty.” “With pleasure.” ~*~*~*~ It all starts when the elf king, Oswin Alvingham, mysteriously gets stuck in the human realm and loses his powers. As he roams the unfamiliar一dirty and low class if he is to describe Earth, he stumbles into Sean Cooper, a fresh graduate, and a full-time table-waiter, who gets bullied in the alley. Though Oswin's magical power is lost, his physical strength remains invincible. When he rescues Sean, the latter decides to take him in as gratitude. And that is where the mess begins. How can the king of the elf cope with his new life? How can Sean convince himself not to be evil enough to kick his savor out of his house? Most importantly, how do an average mortal and the noble upper-class immortal live together under the same roof and on the same bed? ~*~*~*~* P.S: 1) This book contains mature and explicit 18+ scenes. 2) It also contains little graphic violence in some chapters, but I'll put a warning on the top of those chapters. 3) The ELF here is inspired by Lord of The Ring Series. Therefore, they are tall, slender and beautiful. Not tiny little beings like in children fairy tales.]

"As what?" I asked with sarcasm evident in my voice. "As my sex slave," Matteo Russo said, and I choked. I didn't just choke but I laughed out my heart. This had to be a joke. Laura Vento never got anything from her parents, except being sold to Antony Brown to pay off a debt. Her only chance of freedom is to pay off the money. Laura has a plan, to work her ass off so she can be free. Everything was going smoothly until she met the notorious mafia leader Matteo Russo, whose reputation precedes him. Matteo is a man with no emotions but when he meets Laura- The gorgeous red headed stripper, he knew he has to have her- no matter the cost

I felt my heart tighten in my chest as I watched with horror, my fiancé and my best friend, having sex in the hotel. They were so engrossed and didn’t even care that they were half naked and anyone who cared, could see them from the glass wall of the building’s fourth floor. Sonia was pressed to the wall while Dennis worked her insides from behind. I couldn’t hear her moans but with every second that I imagined it, my heart sank heavily. Tears flooded my face as I flashed into the last two years of my life when I met Dennis. He was everything I wanted and more. Tall, handsome, broad shoulders and chest, I couldn’t stop drooling as he pulled me into a hug. For a moment there, my heart forgot how to beat, and the moment he smiled and introduced himself, I knew I was going to marry him. I had fallen hard in love with him. Freya decided to try love again after several heartbreaks, she thought Dennis was different but reality dawned on her when she caught him cheating with her best friend, Sonia, the same person who matchmade them in the first place. Actually, Dennis wasn’t cheating on her with Sonia, he was cheating on Sonia with her! The two have been dating for over five years, and she never knew. She was the third wheel in their relationship… What will happen now that Freya has found out? Find out in the story!

🔞⚠️Rated 18+ | Mature Content Warning This book is for adults only. It contains explicit sex, strong language, and mature themes. Read at your own risk or pleasure. Wet Desires:{Erotica Collection} brings you a mix of raw, unapologetic short stories where fantasies aren’t just imagined, they’re lived. Behind every door is a moment where control slips, tension snaps, and pleasure takes over. Strangers meet with one goal. Ex-lovers face what’s still unfinished. Friends cross lines they swore they never would. These stories are fast, hot, and messy in the most erotic way. You’ll find dominant men who don’t ask twice, women who want more and don’t hide it, and nights that blur into mornings with no regrets. There’s no slow burn here. No holding back. Just skin, heat, and the kind of desire that won’t wait. If you want stories that hit hard, turn you on, make you sexually aroused, leave you wanting more and breathless, Wet Desires:{Erotica Collection} is for you.

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

When Esme Ames, a 22-Year-old virgin ends up on a nightstand, with a stranger, after seeing her step-sister Raina in bed with her boyfriend of three years Titus. Her life takes a turn for worse when her one-night stand partner turns out to be Cassian Van, the biggest controller of all corporate business, and the biggest don in the underworld. He takes her to be nothing and sends her away with a billion dollars, asking her to never appear in front of him. What happens when Esme gets pregnant with Cassian Van's child and when Cassian finds out that Esme is not like the other women he's met?

He’s even more attractive up close, my nostrils are invaded with his expensive scent and sex appeal. My knees grow week in my seven inches platform heels. His perfect brow raised. “Did I not request for a private session?” My daze was broken as I blushed in embarrassment of literally eye fucking this man. I nodded slowly and cleared my throat. “There’s a no touching rule, sir.” I state breathlessly. He stared down at me intensely with a slight smirk on his full lips. “Go on.” ******** Yanna has been stripping for a year to pay off medical bills, unknown to her that she is the daughter to the former don of the Italian mafia. An unexpected private session with a mysterious man, changes the course of her life as he is none other than Enzo Bernadi, the current don of the italian mafia who had been promised a wife by the former don. What happens as she is forced to wed Enzo and has to adjust to the life a mafia don's wife. Expect thrilling plot twist, action, betrayals and most importantly, the steamy romance that'll brew due to their force proximity. *Expect mature scenes*

Adena was sold to a boarding school by her wicked uncle where she was raised and trained to become a sex slave to one of the most dangerous mafia leaders in the world. Unknown to her that her life would soon become more sour than she thought. Logan is a ruthless and feared mafia leader who doesn't care about anybody's feelings, he is tagged heartless by the few who have seen him. What happens when Adena comes into his dark world and becomes the light he has been searching for? What made him heartless in the first place? And will they learn to love each other or is their hatred for each other strong enough to keep them apart forever?

'My Last Wish.' is Annabelle's favourite book; an unknown author and delicious sex scenes, what's not to love? Well...being the Villainess, Being the villainess is what's not to love! Annabelle, a partially celibate lawyer (Not by choice) with a knack for pole dancing on the weekends with her best friend, wakes up in the arms of a beautiful stranger in what she hoped was a vivid sex dream. But, sadly, it instead becomes her new reality! Annabelle is stuck as the Villainess of her favourite reverse harem romance story--fated to be publicly executed by her contract fiancé, The crown prince of Envia. With no one to trust and nothing but malice offered by the male leads, she has no one to rely on but herself to restore her land to its former glory and clear her debt to escape the clutches of the first prince. Unfortunately, easier said than done, especially with the Prince's Knight constantly around her, her butler constantly watching, the Portburgh tycoon out for her blood and unknown prince's spies watching from the shadows making sure her plans are anything but hidden and her safety anything but guaranteed! (IMPORTANT: THIS BOOK NEEDS HEAVY EDITING, AND, UNFORTUNATELY, IT DID NOT DO WELL ENOUGH FOR BOOK TWO; I AM CONSIDERING EDITING TO COMPLETE THE PLOT IN ONE BOOK, BUT THAT NEEDS TIME (A LOT) AND EFFORT. PLEASE DO NOT PURCHASE UNTIL THIS NOTICE IS ERASED. IT COULD BE YEARS** BECAUSE MY WRITING STYLE HAS CHANGED)

I'm Kelly. Everyone calls me Speed. I'm all about control. I'm in control on the racetrack. I'm in control of my car. I'm in control of how I fought to raise my deaf little brother. I live for being in control. Except in my personal life, I have no control and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know where I fit. Should I go with what I have been taught all my life as normal or should I give in to myself and let my true desires come out. I'm Brick. When I first met Speed I could see instantly she needed someone to take control. She needed the Dom in me to help her safely explore her needs and desires. She needed to submit to me and to her true self. She needed me to guide her as she explores who she is and what she wants. She needs a safe place only I can give her to step past what was drilled into her as right and follow her heart. I'm Gretchen. I'm a bunny for the Reckless Renegades. I service the members, most of the time means having sex with them. I was ok with that. Well, I was ok with it until I met Speed. I was drawn to her instantly. I wanted to get to know her but more than that I wanted to be with her. Before I can even make a move she finds out I'm a bunny and won't speak to me anymore. Being a bunny was fine for me but now I want more. I want to help Brick to get Speed to open up. I want to be with her in every way even if that means sharing her with him and giving up my bunny was.