Dirty Tagalog Jokes

“Hubby, pwede ba akong makahiram ng pera?” ang malambing kong tanong sa aking asawa na ngayon ay pagkasama-sama ng tingin sa akin. Paano ba namang hindi eh feeling close ako sa kanya. “Why would I give you? Sa tingin mo ba ay dahil pumayag akong makasal sayo ay makukuha mo na, at ibibigay ko sayo ang mga kailangan mo ng ganun ganun lang?” galit na galit at parang gustong manakit na sabi ni Jared. Ewan ko ba kung bakit sinubukan ko pang lumapit sa isang ito kahit na alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hinding hindi niya ako pagbibigyan.

"Katty" ang pangalang gustong-gusto ko noon pero simula ng makilala ko si Ryan at malaman ko ang katotohanan ay kinamuhian ko ang pangalang iyan. Katotohanang hindi ko inaasahan. Katotohanang sisira sa buhay ko. Katotohanang hindi ko na sana nalaman pa. KATTY? Ano ba'ng mayroon sa'yo?

Maagang Nakipagasawa si lovely sa lalaking Akala niya ay mahal siya. At sa kagustuhan din Ng ama Ng binta na makasal Ang mga ito. Pero Hindi Pala niya alam na Ang taong pinakasalan niya ay may ibang mahal. Lagi siyang sinasaktan ito. At lagi niyang pinaparamdam sa kanya na Wala siyang gusto dito. Kaya iniwanan niya ito dahil na Rin sa Hindi na niya matiis Ang lahat Ng pinaggagawa ni Kiel sa dalaga. Dahil na Rin sa tulong ni Joel na isang CEO Ng golden Builders Company ay nakaalis si lovely sa puder ni Kiel. Pero sa Hindi niya inaasahan ay buntis Pala ito sa anak ni ni Kiel. Nakapahanap ito Ng magandang trabaho dahil engineering Ang kinuha nito ay nakapag apply siya sa malaking company sa ibang bansa.Pero sa pagbabalik ay gagawin niya. Ang lahat para makuha Ang atensyon Ng dating Asawa.

MATURED CONTENT Even after falsely accused and treated inhumanely by the people, Grace Lopez never find anger towards the world. She was an orphan who was living in an abandoned island. She was waiting to be recognized by the people. She patiently waited for someone who has a good heart to make her dreams come true-to live in the city. One day, a group of men lost their way in the island. Grace helped them with her heart and she happened to fall in love with one of them-Blaze Villacorta. Just when she finally recognized the stranger thing called love, the real intention of the men exploded right in her face. Wounded, she left the island and live in the city. The innocent Grace Lopez has become a fierce and elegant woman after years of living in the city-with her husband but her perfectly planned life was ruined when she met her first love again after almost eight years. When the strongest emotion in her heart was triggered by anger that actually leads to something that made her feel the familiar butterflies in her stomach, will she be able to keep her vows she swore to her husband?

Thalia Sinclair never thought her quiet admiration for Asher Vaughn Caldwell would lead to marriage. He was the golden boy of their youth, and she was a shadow in the crowd. Years later, an unexpected reunion, one night, and a life-changing twist brought them together in a marriage without love. She thought their story was over when she asked for a divorce—until the day she saw the storm in his eyes. Could it be that the man who seemed so distant had been hiding his true feelings all along?

Nang makapagtapos si Charm ng kolehiyo sa England, bumalik agad siya ng Pilipinas para surpresahin ang kapatid na si Clara. Ngunit laking gulat niya nang matuklasan niyang apat na taon nang patay ang kanyang kapatid, at wala siyang ideya tungkol dito, at hindi rin ito ipinaalam sa kaniya ng mga kamag-anak nila. Kaya naman, nag-imbestiga siya tungkol sa nangyari sa kanya. Marami ang nagsasabi na ito ay nagpakamatay, ngunit naniniwala siya na hindi kailanman iisipin ni Clara na magpakamatay, at sa tingin niya ay kusa siyang pinatay. Hindi siya tumigil sa paghahanap at pagresolba sa krimen hanggang sa napagtanto niyang may tatlong lalaki na hinihinalang pumatay sa kanyang kapatid. Pero hindi lang sila ordinaryong tao na pwedeng lapitan at kausapin. Kaya, ang tanging naiisip niya ay ang pasukin ang kanilang misteryosong buhay. Plano niyang akitin ang tatlong lalaki na alamin ang katotohanan sa likod ng biglaang pagkamatay ng kanyang kapatid. Magtatagumpay kaya siya sa kanyang mga plano kung malalaman niya kung gaano kadelikado ang mga taong haharapin niya, o magagawa ba niyang itago ang tunay niyang pagkatao nang hindi nahuhuli ng mga ito?

"I'm willing to be your slave, Mi Bella, just say it." He whispered in her ear. Camila closed her eyes and arched her body to him. He could feel her tension, the same sensual tension he also feel right now. If he was not only concerned that Camila would suddenly be afraid, he would follow the beast in him; to destroy the clothes Camila wearing now, where it can barely conceal Camila's body, especially in the eyes of the other men. He felt anger and jealousy. He hates it, when other men looked at Camila with lust. He owned her! Camila was his, then and now. And no one have a privileged to lust after her, except him. He will make sure of that.

"Don't let curiosity will lead you to death." She's Eleastien Hemlock, nineteen years of age. A second-year college student at Reykville University. She's living with her mother with a simple life. Not until she met this intimidating, arrogant, sophisticated, white-hair woman. Aareah. She asks Eleastein to pretend like her. To cut the story short, Eleastein will be living in the vampire world where vampires really exist. She thought it will be simple so she agrees but everything changes when fate is twisted. It was like she wants to live there and never come back. Lahat ng nakilala niya doon ay napamahal na sa kanya. Sa pagbabalik ni Aareah akala niya doon na matatapos. Hindi pa pala. Dahil sa lugar na iyon na hindi niya inakala na totoo, doon pala niya malalaman ang buo niyang pagkatao.

At the age of fourteen, Nathania Sarmiento started working as a striptease performer. She was a strip dancer but never a prostitute who perform s*xual activity for money. Nathania does not have a choice but to strip in front of men two times in a week to have money and feed her siblings. Her parents are in jail so she needs to support her siblings financially. One night, she met this billionaire named Warren Anderson. A cold-hearted, arrogant investor and businessperson. The latter paid her manager with a large amount of money in exchange of her virginity but she refused giving it to him. She left him in the room drooling over her. Next thing she knew? The strip club she was working for seven years was forcibly closed with unknown reason. Her manager then advised her to go to Anderson's company and try her luck to apply for work. Therefore, she left with no choice but to go there. The billionaire accepted her immediately but in one condition. She'll live with him.

"Everytime I win, I will conquer a part of you. I will keep on doing that, until I fully conquer all of you." Walang ibang gusto ang dalagang si Sophie kundi ang matupad ang mga pangarap niya sa buhay at pasiyahin ang kanyang pamilya. Ngunit ang lahat ay nagbago nang isang gabi ay nalaman na lamang niya na ibinenta siya ng kanyang ama sa isang Mafia Boss na nagngangalang Vincent Hastings kapalit ng napakalaki nitong utang. Labag man sa loob, dahil sa pagmamahal sa kanyang ama ay walang ibang nagawa si Sophie kundi ang pakasalan ang Mafia Boss. Ano kaya ang naghihintay sa pagitan ng isang inosenteng babae at isang lalaking walang ibang ginawa kundi ang pumatay? Mabago kaya nila ang isa't isa?