F Up Jokes

Is he trying to insert that thing in my… I fought back and wiggled my body to avoid his big pet when he tried to rub our sensitive part. "Aaargh!" he softly groaned. "Stop resisting me, Susana! We f*cking did this a lot of time!" he growled at me. "I'm not Suzanne! I-I'm her twin sir! Please don't!” I begged him. "Stop lying! Our f*cking son!” He stopped for a moment and looked into my eyes. "You f*cking abandoned him just because you're a slut! Don't f*cking fool me, Susana! Because you'll never fool me again!" he shouted at me, making me close my eyes. "I'm not the woman you're looking for, Mr. I have a twin. Maybe you're talking about her! Her name is Suzanne! I don't even know you, Mr. Believe me I'm not her! I'm her twin!" I insist. "Bullsh*t! Stop lying!” I caught my breath when I felt him enter my hole. I felt like I was stabbed in that part. I couldn't breathe immediately because of the pain at his first entrance. *G*damn it!" he whispered with regret. "I-I told you… I’m not her." I murmured before closing my eyes. I closed my eyes tightly and I was shaking before my vision completely darkened. But before I could open my eyes, I heard one last word he spoke. "F*ck! Shit! Call the f*cking doctor now!”

Suami dan anakku sama sekali tidak menghargaiku. Mereka malah membawa wanita lain yang baru saja bercerai, pulang ke rumah kami. Wanita itu licik dan penuh tipu muslihat. Dia terus mengadu dombaku dan suamiku, membuat kami jadi bertengkar. Karena sudah tidak tahan lagi, aku pun mengusir wanita itu dari rumah. Namun, suami dan anakku justru marah. Suamiku menyebutku cemburu buta dan tidak punya belas kasihan. Dia bahkan menyebutku tidak sebanding dengan wanita itu. Dan kalaupun harus ada yang pergi, akulah yang harus pergi. Bahkan anak yang sudah kukandung selama sembilan bulan pun lebih memihak wanita itu. Dia juga memaksaku minta maaf, kalau tidak, dia enggan menganggapku ibunya lagi. Hatiku hancur melihat suami dan anakku lebih memihak wanita lain. Aku pun memutuskan untuk bercerai. Wanita itu baru menunjukkan dirinya yang sebenarnya di hari aku dan suamiku mau bercerai. Dia sengaja mengunciku di kamar dan meledakkan tabung gas. Ketika suamiku yang merupakan tim pemadam kebakaran tiba, dia malah sibuk menyelamatkan wanita itu karena menganggapku sudah mati terbakar. Suami dan anakku sampai kaget ketika kami bertemu lagi, "Kamu bahkan sampai pura-pura mati demi membuat kami menderita ...."

Putraku tiba-tiba bilang dia terkena leukemia. Keinginan paling utamanya adalah melihat Tante Eva mengenakan gaun pengantin. Suamiku juga ikut menimpali. "Cuma nikah dengan Eva saja. Setelah putra kita menjalani pengobatan dengan tenang, kita baru nikah lagi." Aku pun menyetujui permintaan ini dan bercerai dengan suamiku. Tak lama kemudian, dari unggahan Instagram putraku, aku melihat putraku menghadiri pernikahan suamiku dengan teman masa kecilnya dengan penuh semangat. Judul unggahan itu tertulis : [Aku menjadi saksi dari kebahagiaan ayahku. Hari ini lagi-lagi aku tersentuh oleh perjuangan cinta sejati.] Aku tersenyum dan mematikan ponselku. Sembari memegang tangan orang di sebelahku, aku pun naik pesawat ke Navala.

A love that is silent but never a secret. It is a soft scream that echoes over the years. At a young age, Lana Normina Delfin started developing simple admiration towards someone, her classmate, who constantly teased her because she's a transferee. Turns out that this boy had a crush on her and was just trying to get her attention. But right after she realized her admiration on him, he suddenly distanced himself and started treating her like a mere acquaintance. But even after leaving her confused and wondering, she stayed silent and kept her feelings. She was okay admiring him from afar, with few rumors spreading about it, hoping they would reach him. Until he left, leaving the country without any assurance of returning. Was it the end? He already left and there's nothing between them that she could hold on. Should she accept it already and live by? Because it's been years. An undeniably long years.

I want a divorce.” Andy blinked. “Divorce? You’re joking.” But Anna wasn’t smiling. “No, Andy. I’m done. I won’t share a roof with you and your mistress.” Andy scoffed. “Be serious, Anna. You can’t live without me. You need me.” Anna’s smile turned deadly. “Oh, you think so?” She stepped closer, her voice sharp as a dagger. “Watch me, dear husband. I can live without you.” *** She walked away with nothing—except her pride. When Anna Roberts discovers her husband has moved his mistress into their home, she makes the boldest decision of her life: divorce. With only her son and her dignity, she steps into an unfamiliar world determined to start over. Mocked for her weight, underestimated by everyone—including herself—Anna transforms her pain into power. She works, she fights, and she rebuilds. Soon, she’s no longer the woman Andy could belittle… she’s the woman he’ll never deserve again. But then there’s Gerald Smith. Her powerful, disciplined boss. The man who never mixes business with pleasure. Until Anna. What begins as temptation spirals into something dangerous—something forbidden. Gerald knows one wrong step could ruin them both, but walking away from Anna might destroy him more. Anna thought her divorce was the end of her story. But it was only the beginning.

Tepat di hari peringatan 30 tahun pernikahan kami, suamiku masih dalam perjalanan dinas. Makanan di meja sudah dingin. Di tengah aku masih menunggu kedatangannya, aku menerima notifikasi suamiku reservasi hotel. "Aku masih dinas, bukankah wajar aku menginap di hotel?" Suamiku masih merahasiakan, lalu aku meminta bukti video darinya, tetapi dia tidak membalas pesanku lama. Putraku menyeletuk, "Bu, jangan bertingkah berlebihan. Bukankah Ayah bekerja keras juga untuk kita berdua?" Semua orang menganggap aku adalah ibu rumah tangga yang bahagia karena memiliki suami yang perhatian dan putraku memiliki karier yang sukses. Namun, ketika aku menerima notifikasi reservasi hotel, seketika aku merasa muak. Mereka mengira aku tidak tahu apa-apa. Aku ingin bercerai. Semua pengorbananku selama 30 tahun ini ternyata tidak dihargai. "Kamu bukan anak kecil lagi, berhentilah membuat keributan!" Suamiku memohon agar kami tidak bercerai. Dalam perjalanan pulang di tengah malam, suamiku mengalami kecelakaan mobil. Putraku marah dan mengatakan bahwa aku tidak becus menjadi istri maupun ibu. Melihat anakku emosi dan suamiku yang pura-pura terbaring lemah di ranjang, aku mencibir dalam hati. Kalau kamu suka pura-pura sakit, aku akan membuatmu lumpuh selamanya!'

Tepat memasuki tahun ketujuh pernikahanku dengan Hans, cinta pertamanya, yaitu Yeni kembali dari luar negeri. Kini aku baru sadar bahwa Hans hanya menganggapku sebagai pengganti selama ini. Pada hari aku mengurus prosedur perceraian, aku juga memesan tiket kereta api. Satu-satunya anak yang kukhawatirkan, justru bersorak kegirangan. "Berarti Tante Yeni sekarang bisa menikah dengan ayah dan menjadi ibuku?" Anak ini memiliki selera wanita yang sama dengan ayahnya. Aku mengemasi barang-barang tanpa ragu, lalu pergi dari rumah. Tiga bulan kemudian, aku dan putriku tidak sengaja bertemu lagi dengan ayah dan saudaranya. Putriku bertanya dengan bingung, "Bu, kenapa anak laki-laki itu terus menatap ibu sambil menangis?" Aku menggandeng putriku dan langsung berbalik pergi. "Entahlah, ibu nggak kenal."

They buried him under a blood-red moon. Chains of silver and blessed iron pinned his broken body to the earth, sealing his power, erasing his name. To the pack, he was a failed Alpha. To the coven, a cursed vampire. To the world, he was a mistake that deserved to die. But monsters don’t stay dead. When Alpha opened his eyes again, he wasn’t in the grave—he was in the body of his weakest self. Eighteen years old. Rankless. Powerless. His wolf silent. His vampire blood thin and starving. The memories of his execution burned behind his eyes like fresh wounds. Reborn. A second life… and a second chance at vengeance. This time, he felt it—the system etched into his soul, ancient and cruel. [Hybrid Core Detected] Bloodline: Vampire / Werewolf / Unknown Status: Severely Suppressed Level: 1

Handsome, toxic, dark and wild. Colton Dashner could be anything but one thing: loving someone. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I decided to be a part of his world, I even thought I would be destroyed by him. However there was something beyond that tough, bad boy facade that he wouldn't let anyone see, I could do it. I didn't heed the warnings, I was stubborn and blind. And now... Now I wish I could go back to that first day I met him, never to have done it again. But time can't stand still, nor can my broken heart.

Roxanne Rowan is a spiritual news editor. After an accident in the year twenty-two, Roxanne Rowan was able to see ghosts. She goes around trying to find a way to solve this ability. Her fear of ghosts makes her taciturn and closed off. During an encounter with evil spirits, Roxanne met Egan Griffith, the demon employee of hell. He has the task of catching the demons that are causing trouble in the living world to bring them to hell and punish them. According to the orders of the spirit world, if Roxanne wants to break the ability to see ghosts in her eyes, she must cooperate with Egan to catch the devil spirits. The contract is signed and many bad jokes happen. Roxanne's fate and secret are also revealed. She also realizes that demons come in two forms: disrupting people in the living world and trying to earn money in order to survive like a normal person. Every night, Roxanne has to lie in bed waiting for Egan to finish processing the documents for the company. She doesn’t think from an unequal partnership to rolling in bed so close together.