F Up Jokes Novels & Stories

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked

Jeff jokes around and laughs his ass out. “Shut up,” “Shut up!” Both Seid and I yell at his not-so-funny joke.

" I gripped the phone, barely holding back laughter. Since we started going out, Seth had always known just how to charm my mom with little gifts and money. She saw him as some kind of hero and would always tell me to stay in line. She must have gotten some kind of sweet deal to rush over and play peacemaker without even bothering to ask what the whole mess was about. I kept my cool, did not bother with excuses or arguments, and just waited for her to run out of steam before I ended the call. The phone screen was still glowing when I hit up the client group chat and dropped the bomb. [Hey everyone, I'm thinking of leaving Hoffman Real Estate. If you need anything property-related down the li

she wailed uncontrollably, frantically clawing at Vanessa's clothes. Everyone in the room was stunned. "What are you doing?" Vanessa screamed as she struggled. "Let go, you insane woman! Investments always come with risk! How is it my fault if you lost money?" "Investments?" I scoffed coldly. I pulled out a thick stack of bank statements from my bag and slammed them onto the dining table. "You call these 'investments', Vanessa?" I glanced at the male colleagues who had been cracking vulgar jokes at the table earlier and said loudly, "Over the past six months, Vanessa has used Mr. Studdard's name to set up three investment group chats and scammed nearly six million dollars from everyone.

“Viv, what’s going on with you? What are you laughing about?” She kept laughing until tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped the corners of her eyes continuously and tried to suppress her laughter to tell him, “I was joking with you. I heard a joke from my colleague today. She spoke about how fiancées are proposing break-ups with their fiancés. The fiancés answer with all sorts of strange replies. As a result, we made a pact to try it out with our partners when we got home.”

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

“Yeah well, my sleeping pattern has been off-balance lately, so it's only natural that my eating habits will change too. And geez, I can't help being hungry all the time.” “I think you should cut back on the food a little. At this rate, you'll end up being the biggest person I know.” He teased, poking her belly. “You're such a dick.” “But you still love this dick.” “Are you serious right now? Tell me, does it look like I’m in the mood for any of your crap?” “Whoa, it was just a joke.” “Don't joke like that. Some jokes that are funny, right? And others that are just not ok. Guess which category yours falls into.”

Ferguson sipped her juice. “Yeah, probably since our diapers, I’ve practically seen her naked,” Ferguson choked on his juice, darting a glare towards Jimmy. “I’m only kidding, damn, you really don’t know how to take a joke.” Ferguson chuckled, but it sounded more like a forced one, “a joke like that wouldn’t be really taken lightly but as you said, it’s just a joke...” his eyes darted to mine and I swear, I wanted the floors to open and swallow me whole.