Farmer Jokes Dirty

Meet Aryo when Levi's engagement, make Levi indecisive. Levi remember his interraction with Aryo. Eventhough the relationship between them was previously just like a client ... in bed. Meanwhile, Aryo—as a gigolo—wants to quit his dirty work because a marriage, added his problem about pregnancy his client. The troubled men are faced with a choice of marriage that they don't want at all.

Gosh! Those eyes! They were screaming cute! His masculine beauty was out of this world and he is the kind of man I’d love. The only problem I saw in him was the big tattoo on his arm that extended to his wrists. Being a typical church girl, I couldn’t end up with such a man unless I wanted to be disowned by my father. “I’d have a glass of martini, extra dirty and tacos.” He said in a dreamy gusty voice. “Coming right up” I said taking the menu list and flashed a timid smile at him. I felt my cheeks burning and if there was a mirror around here, I’d have checked how embarrassing I must be looking. My face must have definitely turned pink. I watched him as he ate gracefully without looking elsewhere, his eyes were fixed on his phone. His short brown hair was to die for, I instantly wished I could run my fingers through them. Too bad, I might not be the kind of woman he wants; it wouldn't hurt to have sinful fantasies. He suddenly looked towards me, maybe he must have noticed I had my eyes on him all along. Immediately he locked eyes with mine, I looked elsewhere pretending to looking for something that wasn’t missing. I could tell he gave a faint smile but kept sipping his drink slowly, as he was gazing at his phone. He gave a signal to come and get his bill and I walked gracefully to him. God! I wish he could just take me to bed. Oops! I’m a church girl and shouldn’t be thinking of things like that. “You should take a picture of me, it will last longer.” He said in a baritone voice.

The night was stormy and the sky was without stars as the cloud weeps heavily, the rain poured down in endless torrents as the rogues tore through the pack killing every living and moving thing they could find, lightning flashes across the sky and the thunder roars louder than ever. I stood in the midst of all the destruction too shocked to move a limb, a dirty looking brown rogue noticed me and darted in my direction but my mom's white wolf ran into his side causing him to fall to the ground before digging her teeth into his neck and then proceeded to shake her head until the brown Wolf's neck snap with a sickening pop, she let go and was making her way to me when a rogue jumped on her back and tore a huge chunk of flesh of her neck she yelped in pain and fell to the ground before shifting back into her human form as her body became too weak to keep her in wolf form. The wolf took another at her draining her of all life while I stood rooted to a spot with tears out of my eyes. A painful howl sounded not too far away and my eyes darted to the black wolf it came from, my father's wolf Whimpered at the loss of his soul mate. The rogue leader took the chance and lunged at his throat killing him. And so in one night my parents to a pack of rogues and it's all because I was too weak to do anything to save them.

Lust doesn’t care who’s watching—or what form it takes. From growling beasts in the woods to possessive men in penthouses, from scandalous threesomes under silk sheets to Santa’s very naughty lap—Crave is a shameless collection of erotic shorts where anything goes and no fantasy is too filthy. Whether it’s a witch getting wrecked by her summoned demon, a sweet librarian bent over by her best friend’s dad, or two enemies going down instead of throwing punches—this book doesn’t slow down for breath. Straight. Gay. Monsters. Mortals. Magic. Each story is short, dirty, and unapologetically hot. You’re not here for love. You’re here to get off. So get in, stay wet, and Crave harder.

Elisse Andres thought she had it all as the Luna of Clawstone pack until her Alpha husband, Harold Gutcheri, had used her so that he could take the position of the pack’s alpha. Feeling betrayed, followed by witnessing him cheated with another woman, Elisse’s whole world shattered. In her belief that her husband would come to regret if she would do everything to prove him she was more than enough to satisfy him in bed, however, it all became a nightmare as her sultry mistake leads to drunkenly sending her nude photos accidentally to the wrong man—and of all, her husband’s dangerously seductive Beta, Dominic Costales. Elisse’s life met a drastic change particularly when Dominic used her mistake to his advantage, and how Dominic reveals that he has no intention of keeping her dirty little secret without asking her something in return. With Dominic’s pursuit to entice Elisse deeper under his web, resisting Dominic’s pull had become too complicated for Elisse to accomplish, making Elisse got caught up in a risky game where Dominic dominates her entirely. Now trapped between her desire to avenge herself and their insatiable affair, Elisse now felt compelled to play with fire, and Dominic shall make her burn. “Let me fucking show you how it truly feels like to be wanted, Elisse.” Dominic said as he brushed his lips against my clit, enticing me to savor every moment and making me forget the fucking fact that I was actually about to make a forbidden affair to my husband’s most trusted beta.

"What would you be needing my help for?" I asked, curious. "Do you remember those times when we were little…whenever I do something wrong in our class, you always come forward pretending to be me and receive my punishment?" He asked, and I hummed in agreement. "And do you remember those times when I couldn't read for any exams and I was scared to fail, you would pretend to be me and write the exams for both of us and no one knew because we were so identical?" "Yeah, but where are you heading with all of this?" "I want you to do the same thing for me again." Nolan said, getting me more confused. "What exactly is it for you?" "I want you to pretend to be me and get married to Savannah, it will only be for some time till i'm really ready to face the responsibility of marriage." He said. I burst out laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. What he just said sounded so funny, he is really good at making jokes. "What's funny?" "Sor…Sorry, your jokes are just so funny." I said, trying to control my laughter. "What joke? This is no joke Nate, I am being serious. Think of it as a substitute, you will substitute for me till i'm ready." He said, looking all serious. He wasn't joking. He has gone mad!

"Zachary Dawson will never see you as his potential wife. You are just a warmer for his bed." Elena's eyes widened as she heard her speak with so much hatred in her tone. She tried to keep her up her head upon the humiliation that she got from his family. "I can't believe my son's illness could be cured by someone like you. Just like my husband said, take this money and leave him. You are not the woman he needs." Elena's whole body was shivering, her fists tightened, and she felt like she was swallowing a sharp rock. She was never the one who forced this relationship. Just when she was about to open her mouth and speak. A heavy footsteps approached them. And all their attention was diverted to the man that just walked in with his cold, murdering eyes. "How dare you talk to my woman with that dirty mouth of yours.." He looked at his mother like he was looking at his enemy. ........... When Elena finally decided to live her new life a big city, she realized that one job wouldn’t be enough to feed her and save some for her dreams. So, when suddenly a job opportunity came on a usually busy day, she couldn’t resist. Moreover, when the pay was even bigger than the money of three of her part time jobs. Being a maid on the private villa belongs to Young Master Zachary Dawson. A man with rare phobia with women. Will Elena fall for his trap? Two choices. Run or stay.

Sino siya? Will, siya lang naman ang lalaking nagpabaliw sa akin ng ganito. Kilala nila ako bilang isang inosenteng babae and that's true. Ayaw kong makarinig ng mga malalaswang bagay galing sa kahit sino.. kahit sa best friend ko na kilalang playgirl. Pero noong nakilala ko siya, doon ko natutunan lahat ang natutunan ng best friend ko. Halos lahat ng bagay binigyan ko ng meaning. Naging dirty minded ako dahil sa kanya. Pero iyun ang gusto ko, iyung ang ginusto ko, doon ko siya nakilala so bakit ako mag pabebe? Mahal ko siya at hindi ako mag rereklamo kong ano man ang nagawa niya sa akin. Masaya ako dahil sa kanya ko natutunan lahat. I don't care what they say. I don't care if magagalit ang best friend ko. Pero hindi siya nagalit sa akin kundi sa lalaking mahal ko. Super protective and that's fine with me. Until everyone's know. I'm a model and he's a billionaire. They say, hindi ako nababagay sa kanya. They say, hihilain ko lang siya pababa. Hindi ako kagaya ng best friend ko na palaban. I'm sensitive so after hearing those words from his supporters, it's hurt a lot and I left him. Yes, I left him for my peace of mind. I don't deserve him. Ang bilis ko lang siyang iwan. Deserve niya ang babaeng hindi siya iiwan para sa sarili niya, gaya ng ginawa ko. But can I stay? Why? Cause I love him.

The story of 'EVERY WOMAN CANNOT BE PRETTY' is a message to millions of women around the world who feel inferior due to their average looks that ‘ Beauty is not in the face alone.’ The protagonist in this story, Sarah Liam suffers from PCOS ( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) with side effects of being obese, acne prone and having more than normal hair growth on face and body. To top it she is short in height and has a prominent mole on her chin. In all, she is not what one can call “pretty”. Her husband wants to use her as a sex toy, her best friend betrays her trust by sleeping with her husband. Faced with treachery by loved ones, shunned by many, at the brunt of the unkindest of jokes, the story shows how Sarah manages to rise like a Phoenix, hold her head high and eke revenge on the people who have cheated her, solely with the strength of her talent and grit. But with her flawed appearance, will she ever find true love? Can she ever aspire to marry a handsome man or will she have to settle for someone similarly flawed? Read on..

I flinched as his breath fanned my face, my body trembled in his arms. This was the chance, but was I scared? His eyes affected me in so many ways, as they held grief, pain and regret. Our stare was our way of communicating. It was intended, emotional and agonizing. I was hiding the knife behind me, picturing the perfect place to stab him. His searing heat sent a gush of lust inside me. I shouldn't fall for that. This was a revenge plan, not a romantic show-off. "I'm engaged, and I have a child with him" I remembered, barely recognizing my cold voice which had become soft and weak. He let out a dirty smirk, lowering his eyes to my lips as we exchanged breath. "I know, but I can't stop myself from falling" he whispered, and before I could blink an eye, he captured my lips, twirling them to his taste. It was a long liquid kiss that made me wet so that I couldn't fight back. The knife slipped off my hand as my body yanked on his. We both dried up where we stood when her voice resounded in our ears. "Mom?"