Farmer Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

“Just follow me and hand me things if i need them. Don’t break a nail, darlin’.” I stuck my tongue at him. “I’ll try not too, oh rugged cowboy.” He rolled his eyes at me, murmuring something under his breath. We kept walking for a few more minutes until i spotted a barn ahead. Large with red paint that was chipping off. The smell is the first thing that’ll get to you. The closer we got, the more the smell of dirt, faecal matter got stronger. “Um, don’t you keep your barns clean?” “We do. But we also don’t choose when the animal urinate or take a shit. Have you never seen a barn?”

“Who the hell cares? Don’t you see how much money it pays?” “Yeah I do. But don’t you think it sounds kinda weird? Cleaning maid wanted for what? A freaking attic? For a p**n filming production? Or maybe even better; for a freaking weirdo who likes to watch women cleaning his house naked?” Her friend let out a hearty laugh at the sound of that, the thought of his shy and all-too-innocent for this world friend prancing around butt-naked and with one of those rainbow-colored dust sticks making him double over with laughter. “Yeah well, say what you want but you’d be definitely killing it with that,” He commented, waving a finger to the length of her body.

He said it in a childish tone. "Oh really, but I though your name was Caleb." Jazz replied playing along. "Oh no, I am not Caleb. He disturbs people who want to be left alone but ME, I am Mr. Laughter people enjoy my company." "Oh really?" "Yes." He said it continuing the same innocent tone in his voice. "Shall I tell you a joke?" "Please go on." "Once there was an old man who died at a very young age hahaha..." He ended his short joke with his own laughter

I said and slammed the trunk closed. Teagan walked to the nearest exposed patch of dirt. Digging in her fingers, she pulled out a few lumps of the moist soil. Her nose curled up when she smelled it. Manure, for the corn growing just inside the fence. Clearly, she had never lived in the countryside. Maybe even never petted a cow. I wanted to laugh at her. Curl myself into a ball and roll around on the very ground she held. “Do all farms smell this bad?” She asked in disgust. This time I let go of my laugh. Let it roll around inside my body. A bit of humor before we entered the wolf’s den was good. It made it all seem a lot less serious. A lot less life-threatening.

Lucas looked at the dozens of Wild Bull Dark Races in front of him and said, "Is there anything funny about this?" A Rank 5 Earth King Ranked Realm Wild Bull said to Lucas, "Human, this is the funniest joke I've ever heard in my life. Don't you think it's funny!?" ...

- She laughs Mike is cleaning a tear that falls from his eye and I look at the both of them. “Smelled like a wet dog” - Mike says laughing hysterically again. Fuck my life.

We speak over the phone. "That is good." "So, you and your wife have turned to a newly married couple?" Richard teased him and he laughed aloud. Before he could recover from the joke, Tim added, "We may have a miracle baby from them soon?" "Ha! Not at all. We leave that to young men like you," he emphasized. They laughed happily and Richard said, "Excuse us. We wished to see the farmers." "It is all right," he said and they moved.

" Uhhh... Maybe Yes." " Oh, I'm Sorry! Wrong Answer. When a cow laughs, Ice cream comes out of her nose. You do not win any tickets." Peter laughed then hung up I laughed heartily at that " It was... Hysterically funny!!" He was giggling heartily as holding his stomach " I can imagine his face!" " Poor guy took that question seriously." I laughed more " Yep, another one." We called some other people and made fun of them until this least " Hey!" A woman replied

"Rude! I’m a model citizen. I only commit crimes against humor. Not that I’d ever need to rob a bank!" "Crimes against humor," I chuckled. "That’s one way to put it. Your dad jokes are a whole different category." "Hey!" he said, pretending to be offended. "My dad jokes are basically an art form." He pointed at me like a teacher about to drop knowledge. "Why did the scarecrow get promoted?" I shot him a wary look. "Frank—" "Because he was outstanding in his field," he declared, laughter bubbling up as he reveled in his own joke.

I stand before you and say, "I brought you breakfast." He sits back down and grabs the package that's been handed to him by me. "Aren't you going to wash those dirty hands of yours?" I inquire while glancing at his dirty fingers. "I'm a farmer. We're like Neanderthals," he chuckles while giving a sly wink to the side of his cheek. "There is something even worse that settles into me after a day at the farm," the farmer said. I utter the word "gross" when I see him take a big chunk out of his breakfast wrap while simultaneously using his dirty hands.