For My Derelict Beloved Novels & Stories

Her voice was always filled with love and longing. I never knew what the words meant. But I had learned the sounds. The melody. It was hauntingly beautiful. Sorrowful and passionate at the same time. Now, with the wine warming my blood and the firelight casting dancing shadows on the walls, I found myself humming those same words. “Yar elinden ölüm, olacak benim sonum. Sonu yok bu, Aşk-ı kıyamet…” Death by the hand of my beloved shall be my end. This love has no end. A love of apocalyptic ruin.

His grip tightened, his forehead pressed hard to mine. “I don’t care about Marcella. I don’t care about Caleb. I don’t care about anyone in this rotten world but you. You’re the only one I’d bleed for, the only one I’d burn for. If you told me to rip my heart out and lay it at your feet, I would. If you told me to kill every last person who’s ever looked at you, I’d paint the streets red with their blood. All because you’re mine, Delilah. Mine to ruin, mine to worship, mine to keep.” His thumb traced the tear on my cheek, then pressed harder against my jaw until it almost hurt.

“Love was never on the table.” “Why? Because of that loser Daniel?” she pressed. “Are you really letting that fool dictate your view on love?” I turned my gaze away, “No, of course not,” I said, rising to my feet. “This has nothing to do with Daniel or that I never gave your men a chance. You are actually right they are nice men but I have no heart to offer any man, it stopped beating four years ago” I plainly stated and requested her to change the topic or I was going to leave.

“Sex with me, so amazing All this all work, no vacation Stay up off my I*******m wit-” My phone blared loudly from its spot on my bed. Depressed thoughts now scattered from the unexpected call, I quickly searched for my singing phone, knowing exactly who was behind the call. Quickly finding it underneath my scattered papers, the pad of my pointer finger gently pressed on the vibrating green icon to accept the call.

Not my Crown, not my reign, but the parts of life I had truly craved: Calla’s trust, her willing love, and the beautiful future we had spent mere moments dreaming of together. I sank to my knees, the sand cold beneath my ruined body, engulfed by a black, suffocating wave of utter desperation. I pressed my hands into the sand, feeling the grit bite into my palms, and whispered broken apologies to the night, knowing they would never reach her, knowing they would never be enough.

The tears run freely as I let out the muffled cry I’ve been holding in as I heard another bang of the front door. ‘It’s best I’m alone, it’s what’s always best for me’ I tried calming myself down as the pain came rolling in. Every single thing I went through came back like a flash just because I loved someone. I don’t hold anything against Tristan but truly he deserves better. He can’t be with me, not with someone that keeps taking him back and front and doesn't know how to move on. Someone who doesn’t want to let go and give her trust to anyone ever again.

"My December doesn't feel the same without, come take me back. When was it when I saw you last? The last month? The beginning of December? Will I ever see you again? And if I do, will you be the same? Will you be just as forgiving? Just as sweet, honey dripping from your lips like you've spoken an octave higher? What is it that will change about you? Would you let me love it? Would you let me love you, still? Would you let me love you more than I do now? Would you let me love you more than she ever did? Would you let me love you as much as I wish I could? Would you let me in?" "Do not keep, this belongs to me." "My hand slips through the cracks of the vases and windows we painted together wi

She headed towards Damon to see what was written. Upon storm clouds I weathered, Towards brick, mortar, and sand; Oh mortal, I am tethered, Fare thee well, to hell, my land; Red - your hair brightened with blood, Red – these strings tie me to thee; Red – my eyes cast to the dirt, Tis’ my fate, the one to be; Our hearts sang and swelled with pride, Our love unrivalled by the heavens, earth, and sea; Together we will be, one in this tide,

All thoughts, all passions, all delights, Whatever stirs this mortal frame, All are but ministers of Love, And feed his sacred flame. Oft in my waking dreams do I Live o’er again that happy hour, When midway on the mount I lay, Beside the ruined tower. The moonshine, stealing o’er the scene Had blended with the lights of eve; And she was there, my hope, my joy, My own dear Genevieve! She leant against the arméd man, The statue of the arméd knight;

I heard Jonathan's sobs behind me, but I didn't look back. When the welcome speech for the event ended, I was invited to say a few words on stage. As I took my place, the lights converged and fell on me. Half a year ago, I was trapped in a loveless marriage and played the role of a wife whose heart was broken by her husband every night. There was a time when I thought I wouldn't make it through to see the next day. However, I hadn't realized how big the world was until I left Jonathan, the root of all my sorrows.