Funny Hypocrisy Quotes

I was attacked at the same time as my childhood friend, and when we finally woke up, he had lost his memory. I didn't have a single scratch, but my long-gone grandmother's spirit somehow ended up inside my body. "This wimp is still pretending he lost his memory just to trick my sweetheart. If I were still alive, I'd beat him so bad he wouldn't know which way was up!" I stared in shock, my mouth wide open. My grandmother's angry voice kept ringing in my head. "In Sonia's last life, she got killed because of that useless Fabian. She lived such an unhappy life because of him! "When her grandpa asks who she wants to marry this time, I hope she won't choose Fabian. She should pick Chandler instead. That boy is quite responsible!" A moment later, my grandfather and a few elders really did walk into my room. They laid out portraits of the four princes in front of me and told me to choose one as my future husband. I didn't hesitate at all. I picked my long-time rival, Chandler Clarke. If my grandmother said Fabian Clarke never loved me, then I didn't want him anymore.

My younger fraternal twin brother finally gets a girlfriend. Our parents, who are overseas, entrust me with the task of welcoming her. I instruct the maids to prepare a feast to welcome her. As we sit around the dining table, my brother scoops a bowl of soup for me himself. After that meal, my brother's girlfriend pulls a long face at me. "Who gave you the right to eat the soup my darling scooped? How could you be so lazy? You can't even cook, yet you're not even embarrassed to stuff yourself with all that food!" I'm stunned by her outrageous words. I reply in annoyance, "What does that have to do with you anyway? I'll do as I please!" She glares at me with hatred written all over her face and yells, "Why aren't you married yet? The family's assets belong to me and my darling. Who do you think you are that you can spend our money? "Just look at you. You will never be able to get married like this. Perhaps it'll be better for you if you beg me to introduce my elder cousin to you. He doesn't mind that you're lazy. All he wants is for you to give him a son. He earns over ten thousand dollars a month!" I'm dumbstruck by her shamelessness. I storm straight to the bathroom where my brother is and bang on the door repeatedly. "Come out here right now! What is with your girlfriend? And since when have our family's assets become yours and yours alone?"

Before the wedding, my fiancé, Alpha Jay, stood in front of me. Hesitation flickered in his eyes, but so did hope. “Can you give me a month?” he asked, his voice softer than I’d ever heard it. A month. Time to see if he could patch things up with Linda Manwaring—his ex-girlfriend. His fated mate. “If it works out,” he continued, the words deliberate, like he was convincing himself as much as me, “then it’s the Moon Goddess’s blessing. But if it doesn’t… I’ll come back. I’ll marry you. And I’ll leave her behind—forever.” He meant it. He truly believed this was the honorable thing to do. I didn’t argue. I didn’t cry. Instead, I let a small, knowing smile tug at my lips. “Go ahead,” I said, my voice calm and steady. “Give it a try. Life’s too short for regrets, right?” Relief broke over his face like a wave, as though I’d just untangled him from a chain he hadn’t known how to break. That night, he drove off, lighter than I’d seen him in months. Meanwhile, I packed my bags in silence. No hesitation. No second thoughts. Once I was done, I picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. “Mom,” I said, my voice even and unwavering. “The wedding’s off. I’m coming home to help you handle the Shadowfang Pack.”

The Beast King, Tharion Kael, has spent half his life on the battlefield, yet he has no heir. So, he summons every woman rumored to be blessed with fertility into the palace. Favored by fortune and against all odds, I, as a descendant of the Carp Clan, conceive. To keep me safe during my pregnancy, Tharion hides me away in a remote, deserted palace, guarded in secret by his Nightguards. But just as I am about to give birth, I unexpectedly crossed paths with the Vixen Consort, Lyra Swifttail, who wanders into the Forsaken Wing by mistake. She swishes her tail playfully, eyes sparkling with amusement as she looks at my round belly. Her smile is utterly captivating. "I didn't expect to find a little carp having an affair here…" With a spell, she drags me away, forcing me into my true form. Then, one by one, she scrapes the scales from my body until I am raw and bleeding. She has her catfolk attendant pour scalding oil over my wounds and orders guards to violate me until I am left broken like a rag. When I finally lose consciousness, she slashes me open with a claw and rips the stillborn child from my womb. She presents it with both hands to Tharion, who has just come to visit. She says, "Your Majesty, what perfect timing. I caught a carp sneaking around the Forsaken Wing. This is her illegitimate child!"

After I landed in the hospital—again—from working myself into the ground, Jacob swore he was done playing house stockbroker. "Starting tomorrow, I'll do anything. Haul bricks, deliver pizza, whatever. I'm not letting you carry this alone." His eyes were glassy as he stormed out of the exam room like he was about to save the day or something. Then the doctor walked in and handed me a report. I was pregnant. Again. Heart racing, I chased after Jacob... and froze. He was standing outside some super VIP room. The same guys who used to bang on our door for money were suddenly all respectful. "Mr. Klein, should we block her door again tomorrow?" Jacob twirled our engagement ring around his finger. "No need. She already lost one baby paying off those debts. The test's over. Time she knew who I really am." Then my best friend—Lillian Morvain—strolled out and wrapped her arms around his waist like she belonged there. "Jacob, don't go soft. Your tests usually last at least five years. What if she's just another gold digger? Plus... I'd miss you." He hesitated. Smirked. "Fine. We'll do it your way. She's not going anywhere anyway." I stood there, clutching my stomach, sliding down the wall like the air had been punched out of me. Later, I pushed open the office door. "Dr. Spencer, I need a termination. Three days from now."

My younger sister had sworn off marriage and children, but as we grew older, she envied me for having both a husband and son. Not only did she demand that I share my husband with her, but she even wanted my son to care for her in her old age. I scolded her for being delusional and shameless. But she held a grudge, and in front of my son, she claimed that I had cut off his chance at inheriting a fortune. He believed her. With one strike, he killed me and then declared to the world that my sister was his real mother. When I opened my eyes again, I returned to the day my sister refused to go on a blind date. This time, she happily agreed to it and even boasted to me that she planned to have many kids. "Liz Stanton, this time, I'll be the one with a husband and kids." But I had no intention of reliving the misery of marriage either.

At our seventh wedding anniversary party, Caleb Thorne shares a drink with his childhood sweetheart. My face darkens, and he publicly snaps at me in front of everyone. "It's just playful fun between friends—why are you so uptight? If I really had something going on with Emma, do you think you'd ever have become my wife?" He storms off in anger. That same night, his childhood sweetheart updates her social media banner to a photo of her holding hands with Caleb. In the past, I would've rushed to her house without a second thought, dragged Caleb out, and demanded to know if he ever truly loved me. But this time, I don't care anymore.

The year of my college entrance exams, I gave up my acceptance to Harvard for James Carter. But after five years into our relationship, I ended it. Outside the dorm building, I caught him holding Sarah Williams, who was dripping in designer labels, locked in a passionate kiss. James smirked, "You're just a simple farmer. What kind of life could you possibly offer me?" But he seemed to forget that I had bought him everything - from his tailored Tom Ford suit to his Rolex watch. Heartbroken, I walked away. If someone else wanted to be a doormat for him, they could be my guest - I was done. Later, I focused on growing my agricultural business, eventually expanding into space farming. That's when the media uncovered my true identity as the heiress to a multi-billion dollar fortune. Mr. Williams groveled, forcing Sarah to kneel beside him, begging me to consider a business partnership. James, his eyes red from crying, grabbed my sleeve and said he regretted everything.

Hindi kamukha ng tatlong taong gulang na anak kong lalaki ang asawa ko. Naghihinala, ang father-in-law ko ay kumuha ng paternity test para sa anak ko. Ang resulta ay nagpakita na walang biological na relasyon sa pagitan nila. Galit at napahiya, ang father-in-law ko ay sumabog sa galit, nagbato ng mga insulto sa akin at pinagbantaan pa na patayin kami. Ang asawa ko, galit din, ay sinampal ako ng malakas sa mukha. “Walang hiya ka! Hinayaan mo ako na palakihin ang anak ng ibang lalaki ng tatlong taon!” Habang nakatitig sa kanilang nagaakusang mga mukha, kalmado akong gumawa ng isa pang report—paternity test sa pagitan ng asawa ko at ng kanyang ama. Kinumpirma nito na sila ay hindi din biological na magkaugnay. Ang kanilang mga ekspresyon ay napahinto sa gulat. Na may maliit na ngiti, sinabi ko, “Mukhang hindi natin alam kung sino ay hindi parte ng pamilyang ito, hindi ba?”

It all began with a single post about canceling a food delivery order. Overnight, I became the internet's punching bag. Thousands of vicious messages flooded my inbox, filled with photoshopped memorials urging me to die. They doxxed my family, plastered my personal details across shady websites, and used AI to create obscene images of me, spreading them in vile chat groups. They spread lies about my income, claiming it came from illicit sources, and accused me of carrying diseases. I didn't call the police or block the messages. Instead, I read every hateful word before singling out the 100 worst offenders. Every day, I sent each one a luxurious meal: Boston lobster, Australian wagyu, the works. Each delivery came with a simple note: [Thank you for your hard work.]