Funny Pinoy Jokes

"I want you to be mine." Davon purrs into my ear while his hand snakes up to my neck. "I want to be yours, too..." "Good. Then I shall fuck you till you forget your own name, little flower." His hand tightens against my throat.

"Why do you hate me so much, Maan" she asked hiccupping, hitting his chest. "I never said that" he said holding her hands. ____________________________________ "So, my Ita, how does it feels to be Mrs. Dutta," he asked holding her from behind while making eye contact in the mirror. "Best feeling in this world, Mr. Dutta" she replied kissing his cheek. ____________________________________ "I BLOODY ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!" he shouted slamming the wooden desk with his fists. "I am sorry, sir" she replied with tears welling up in her eyes. ____________________________________ "I will kill that man if I see him near you again" he said dangerously running his index finger from her forehead to neck. "W...why" she asked stammering. "Because you are mine"...

Andreanna Gutierrez, or simply Andrea is a nerdy delivery girl who, in one stormy night in a secluded area accidentally bumped over the heir to an enormous business empire, the Jackson Corporation. The heir is Allen Miguel Jackson, who is known as the most elite, fine-looking, eligible bachelor and a cold-hearted person. He asked Andrea to take responsibility to what she did and therefore, she was compulsory to bring him at her rented place and look after him for a while until he is fully recovered. Over time, despite of Andrea's lack of good looks and outdated sense of fashion, Miguel learned to acknowledge her capabilities and innate compassion that he agreed for her to become his personal assistant. Soon after, the two souls became close friends until Andrea admits to herself that she's deeply in love with her boss. How will Andrea win the indescribable heart of someone who's way out of her league? Is it possible that a wealthy, powerful, and good-looking guy like Miguel will eventually fall in love with her nerdy appearance? Or will he hate her after knowing her secrets? Will a mighty CEO and a mere nerdy personal assistant could have a happily ever after?

“I, Arnold Allirick, reject Daisy as my mate.” He was determined and he was not going to change this at all. He made his decision and he was not going to change his decision at any cost. Her mate rejected her only because she was naive and never learnt using her powers. Being brought up by a human couple, she embraced only human life. It was none of his fault, but Arnold, who was the next Alpha, wanted a mate who was fit to be the next Luna. Without helping Daisy, he rejected her outright. Just because his father wanted it. His father's wish was to have a daughter-in-law who would be as intelligent and wonderful as his wife, and not as naive as Daisy. After breaking up with this rejection, Daisy no longer wanted to move forward. Her wish was to live like a common human and this was the reason why she accepted Arnold's rejection. But the reason for which she let Arnold go, the same reason now seemed useless to her. Daisy agrees to resume her life following the command of the wolf inside her, but the Moon Goddess might not have wanted that. Moon Goddess had to pay for what happened to Daisy, and maybe that's why Ahaz came into her life. Daisy starts liking him even though she does not want to, but the problem was that Ahaz was a Vampire Prince. Will Daisy now be able to take the risk of falling in love with Ahaz after knowing his secret?

Kita tidak pernah tahu kemana takdir akan membawa kita. Yang pasti, takdir akan mendekatkan kita dengan jodoh kita. Andini Khumaira, seorang gadis yang bercita-cita ingin menjadi Tahfiz Qur'an. Namun, tekadnya mulai diuji ketika cinta terhadap lawan jenis mulai bersemi di hatinya. Memilih dan memilah kumbang yang datang dan pergi. Akankan Dini mempertahankan cita-citanya? Atau malah terbuai dengan manisnya cinta?

Getting married should be one of the wishes humans tend to make, especially to be with the one they love, right? But what happens when a human wishes for nothing in his or her life, but wealth, and nothing else, not even happiness? Meet Emma Maxwell, a twenty five years old wealthy lady, who had been broken many times, because of love, and for that, she vowed to never fall in love again. Like every other person, Emma had always wished to know the feelings of love, to give and to get it in return, but relationship never seemed to be her thing, as she always ended up being the victim of one sided love. After trying series of relationship, without any, working out for her, she decided to give up on love, and started sleeping around with men. As she always said to any man that approaches her for love "that shit ain't for me, I just wanna get laid, and we go our separate ways. But what happens, when her parents, especially her mom, desperately wants her to get married, and not just getting married, but to her friend's son? Do you think she'll agree to it?....

Cindy and Catherine are twins but even though they are twins they have own differences for example their attitude. Cindy is a shy type girl but very smart while Catherine is smart too but not like cindy. Catherine likes to rebel and she's a bad girl type and when she meets Theo. They become friends but an accident change all of it. The moment I met Cindy in our school, I knew that she's the one for me or she's speacial. She became my first love, but we lived 100 miles apart. After the school, we maintained our friendship through handwritten poems. Eventually, car accident ruined it all. We went on to seperate lives, yet I thought about her always. Ten years later, we reunited in our college school which is Stanford university. I fell in love with my friend. Yes I'm the one who's giving her a yellow flower with a red tip because it symbolizes friendship or falling in love with your friend. There is nothing wrong with that but do you know what's the hardest part of being in love? You need to sacrifice all of your dreams just to be with that girl. One thing I realise. "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

Fantassia was so inlove with her bestfriend since they were just a kids, so inlove that she could give her precious gem, her virginity, to her only bestfriend once they grew up and when they turned in a legal age. Even they were just a kids she knew to herself that she really love him, she promised to herself that she would do everything for him. One day he told her to wait for him because he has something to say, she's waiting for him to their favorite place to play. She's ready to confess her feelings towards him and she knew he's feeling the same way, she's just waiting for him to confessed too. She's patiently waiting for him until dusk when her mother came out of nowhere telling to her that her bestfriend, Callan, and his family left the country. After that day she cried her heart out and she started to loathe and hate him, he made her feel stupid and she felt humiliated in front of everyone for waiting like a pathetic kid. Since then, she promised to herself again that she will forget him and her feelings for him. Years had been past Fantassia grew up into a fine and gorgeous lady that every men would do anything just to get her attention, but the old Fantassia who's sweet and caring to everyone was gone. The new Fantassia is a difficult person to deal with, she's so hard to please and a high-standard woman.

19 years ago a child was born from a ritual her parents made to Moon Goddess. Goddess was very satisfied with them and soon the couple had a baby. But she was not some normal girl.That caused her parents death. One unfortunate day took away her parents from her. Her parents hide her from the enemies. That day her parents were killed. The girl was taken by the beta couple who wanted a daughter but never had one and was name Alex. 19 years passed since the unfortunate day ,the girl grew up with her brother after her parents died. Her pack members bullied and abused her but after her mother's death everything changed. Nothing can dim her sparks. She takes revenge in her own unique ways .She vowed that she will never let another soul walk upon her. She never wanted a mate but the fate has other idea. They both meet by a prank. But she didn't know it will lead her to her mate . Let just say she wanted to bury him alive. This story is full of mysteries, tragedy, love ,hatred and comedy.

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love